Goodness me! as cliche as this might sound, TIME FLIES!
The nanny from Elm Street has left and i've been busy like a bee since! In fact, her premature departure wasn't quite anticipated. I had to let her go 3 days prior to her last day and that was after "tahaning" for a week. She was ill you see. On the day the hub had to be away for a one week business trip no less. However, as proud as she was, she kept insisting that she had never been ill in her entire life and that each time she thinks she's going to fall ill, she'll take some of her miracle pills and herbal teas she brought along to suppress the bug. And so, each day, suppressed she did. I didn't quite hear her cough in the day but come night, despite having her door closed, I could hear. And boy was I freaked out coz Small K was in the room with her! The next day I urged her to put on a mask. Again, the adamant her, refused. Shouted at the top of her voice. Not in anger, but that's her usual tone of talking. Annoying much. The next day, I decided to have the kids in my room instead. Wow! It was mambo number 9 cum concerto No. 5 that night despite having my mom stay overnight! Well, in fact, having mom over wasn't too great an idea. You see, mom's the youngest in the family and when I was young, I was taken care by my maternal grandmother and a nanny who is now my Godma so you can imagine how close we are. Anyways, Empress Dowager can't even change diapers and the proud her (yes, she belongs to the same camp as the confinement nanny) claimed that diapers wasn't invented during my time. Fine. I gave her the traditional cloth diaper which i favoured. Again, she told me she couldn't fold them let alone put it on for my little boy. I urged her to learn and when it was time for diaper change, Small K sprayed all over and got her amused and laughing instead of getting the situation in control! Thereafter, Small K had to pooped and she caused a mess on my rubber mat as small K was struggling and again, she wasn't in control. I tried to give her a crash course but instead of standing still to listen, she walked around and gave me the "I eat salt more than you eat rice" lecture. She helped wash Small K's laundry by hand and left the wet clothes dripping on the tap, insisting that they'll all dry before I know it. Something which I can't quite envision since they were all dripping wet (yes she didn't quite rinse them). That night, when Small K cried (which was every half an hour or so...ya go figure!), Big K would be disturbed. At the peak, I was expressing my breastmilk when Small K decided to be a tenor and Big K joined in to be a soprano. The Empress Dowager carried Small K to me which I don't know why since I was expressing and thereafter, went to pick Big K up to pat. I was at wits end as how could I be expressing and coaxing a distressed infant at the same time?? Subsequently, Big K, who hates her grandma, continued crying and walked towards me. Wow! Simply HIGH! and you know what did the Empress Dowager said? "I give up. I don't know how to handle your kids". Wow. Thanks for your help, Mom!
The next morning, I had to quickly pick up some groceries from the supermarket downstairs (yes, thankfully it's THAT convenient!) so off I went with Dad who came early in the morning to help. 10 minutes later, we received a distressed SOS. Her highness called to say the two kids are wailing again and that she can't handle! Sigh. I think I'm really better off myself. Fast forward, mom was only thankfully able to help one night and thereafter, I was on my own. By the end of the week, the nanny was in such bad shape she was sleeping half the time! she was merely cooking my meals and not looking after my little one which obviously I wouldn't want her to as well!! It was then, I decided to send her back. She told me i had to change her train ticket for her. I called. I was annoyed by the neighbouring country's system. There wasn't an empty seat and whether or not there'll be an additional carriage, we won't know unless we called in every hour! and mind you, the lines are perpetually busy. The nanny said I had to go down to the train station at Woodlands to wait! She must be mad! I was desperate. The hub suggested to get her an air ticket on our expense. Another mad fellow. I tried to convince him that a bus ticket was all she needed but he said the poor old lady was very ill and an air ticket was definitely gona be cheaper than medical should Small K catch her bug! Ok. I was sold! U know the funny thing was, despite being very annoyed with her for the last couple of weeks, I was actually a tad sad when she was about to leave and I was suppressing those tears when the 65 year old picked up her 2 hugeass luggage and bade us goodbye. She even gave my little one an ang bo which made me slightly guilty coz the ang bao I gave her that was supposedly meant for good luck, was a small one. then again, we bought her a freaking Air Ticket to go home! Incidentally she had to complain that she was travelling via Air Asia coz the airport was further from her hometown and that she had a bad experience on board previously! Sheez, buy ticket for her yet complain. Seriously can she be less of a complain monger and more grateful? Maybe I was sad coz from now onwards, I was truly on my own! haha
Needless to say, the following few days/ weeks, was ultra hectic. the hub wasn't due home till a week and i had to push forward my food delivery. The MIL unfortunately did not step in to even offer help for Big K or my meals despite knowing the situation. In anycase, I was determined to prove to the world that I live up to my name as a Supermom! I felt really weak and helpless. But, the will of the strong will never be shaken by doubts of the weak. My greatest weakness was complaining and I did so via social media where i garnered so much support (and criticism at times) from friends that it kept me going. So yeah, the nights went by and my dark circles became darker and darker. But I survived. Barely. Each time I was attending to Small K, Big K would throw tantrums by taking stuff out of the drawers or requesting to pee or have her milk. At one point in time, I was carrying Small K with one arm latching, and the other arm helping Big K up the W.C! No wonder, the uncle commented that my arms are getting huge! Sigh. However, on calmer occasions, when I see Big K's loving and helpful side, I soften and think that she's the best daughter + sister ever. Life is always throwing curveballs to us but the only way was to bite the bullet and sacrifice hell lot of sleep!
“Being weak doesn’t make you worthless. Being strong doesn’t make you invincible. But having those two sides makes you, you.”
― Danielle Baker
