Big K goes Primary One

Monday, January 8, 2018

It is Week 2 of Primary One life and I finally found the compelling need to blog this milestone down. Yes, my firstborn is now in PRIMARY ONE! It has been quite an emotional ride with my eldest turning 6, with me throwing her an epic Alice in Wonderland party and then moving on to Primary school. While she has been very chirpy about the whole transition, mama here is feeling she is growing up too quickly. CUE: #Emo

She has learnt to tie her own laces! She was reluctant to learn back then. I didn't force her and she took it upon herself to self-learn. The making of a perfectionist indeed.

Our weekends now are extremely precious. It is an opportunity for us to catch up on revision as well as outdoor play. Not to mention more cuddles after sleeping in a little more. I have to up my game in the kitchen on weekends now given that what is served during recess isn't fantastically nutritious. Think: $1 pasta without ingredients. How to grow lydat?? It's going to be tougher contrary to what I've heard. Logistically, Big K goes to school in the morning whilst Small K goes to school in the afternoon. Thankfully, Dad is stepping in to assist a little on the pickups. Week 1 had been a killer for me. What with sending Big K to school and then coming home to bond with Small K, settling lunch and off we go to pick Big K up again before sending Small K to school. Then running errands with Big K in tow and finally picking Small K up! Life of an uber driver?

Ever since our return from our long holiday, we took opportunity of the jetlag situation and trained them to sleep earlier and wake up earlier. We succeeded. Only problem, Small K seemed to be the more excited one and had been waking up earlier than his sister. The other problem, he doesn't nap and is in the afternoon session! *face palm. Yes, it will of course be a better option for me to have him in the morning session so that logistics is in sync, but that would mean no quality spent with him. By the time I am home, it will be bedtime. I will not be able to hug and kiss him more. I will not be able to read him more stories. 

it has been a challenge to cook for only two!

I will not be able to cook for him and fatten him up. I just cannot. Letting Big K take the school bus isn't an option too as that will mean waking Small K up to escort Big K down. A problem if Small K is still sleeping. My kids have security issues. They need to see ME when they wake up. Plus, we are just 10 minutes away from school! Things generally are pretty manageable when the Mister is in town. Problem is, he isn't always around. I'm a veteran at #soloparenting remember?

The entire routine hasn't been well-received. Of all people, I'm probably feeling the most heat as I have never been a morning person. Not even when I was a student. Waking up at 6am is rendering me knackered by noon! No doubt, I seem to be able to complete more tasks in the morning, but I really need to keep up my stamina in order to survive the day of work. Ningxia had been a very big help here.

I need to replenish my stock!

It's Week 2 and the lethargy is rubbing off Big K. It had been quite difficult to wake her up for the last couple of days. Today, especially, was a pain. Literally. She woke up complaining of a headache. She had been having headaches ever since our trip. We were up in the skies for more than 6 hours and screen time was more than nap time. As such, upon touchdown, she vomited. I dismissed it as altitude sickness. Next, we went up the mountains to ski. We went round and round the windy road and upon arrival, again, she vomited. The next day when we were supposed to ski, she was pale. We dismissed it as motion sickness this round. Something which her mother, me, has it as well. It wasn't a surprise as this happened during our roadtrip last year. Peppermint oil seemed to work momentarily and once on ground level, she was fine. Jumping and having fun. We didn't think much until we came back to Singapore. Her giddy spells turned into headaches. Two attacks since school started. Too many for my comfort level. I had been wanting to bring her to the doctors but the hubs was vehemently against it. Questioning me why would I want to spend money for the doctor to tell me that it could be stress or Primary school jitters or that she isn't having enough sleep. The mil wasn't on my side too. She puts the blame on the fact that Big K's head had a "shock" due to the cold temperatures at where we were holidaying. We had her well covered and she did not have any sniffles whatsoever. 

Today was the last straw. 


Big K woke up complaining of a headache. To put things straight, she was dragged out of bed. She was reluctant to take her breakfast too. Hence we thought it could be that she wanted to escape the Monday Blues. But what does a 6 year old know? It could also be due to the fact that she cried a whole lot before bedtime the previous night. You see, the night before, I had gotten her to count her pocket money. I verbally asked her a few addition sums which she failed to answer. Seeing her wandering eyes on the tv screen, my pressure heightened. I told her she needed to do 10 questions before she was allowed to watch her favourite show. She was reluctant but relented. However, once again, the focus was not there as the eyes were roaming around. Papa saw and instructed -- NO TV FOR THE NIGHT. A good call by any judgement, but if you were in the court of kids, you will know this isn't the best as it is likely to trigger a tantrum. Indeed it did. That night, she wanted only me. She cried and I asked if it was because of no TV tonight. She replied "no mama, i am upset because i couldn't do those questions, all wrong". With that, I broke down too. I was too harsh on a highly emotional perfectionist. I had forgotten that she needed a lot of love and more importantly, I wasn't mindful enough and let my job hazard take the upper hand. This had been a topic covered in school hence I had my expectations. To say that one shouldn't and doesn't have expectations is a lie. No matter how small, it is an expectation and it is inherent. What's worse, this is a job hazard for me. Whether or not it was an excuse to escape from the blues, I will probably never know. It is a thin line as this age, they do know about deception. But I chose to believe my child. I brought her to the pd who suggested we monitor with some medication and referred us to a Neurologist whom we will see in 2 weeks. My heart is heavy now. Very heavy.