FTWM: Tons on my plate

Work. It has always been synonymous with my life. Right from graduation, apart from during my honeymoon, i can't quite recall when I took a good break. Even whilst pregnant, I didn't quite rest. I pushed myself to work 6 days a wk right up to wk 40. After giving birth to BB K, i rested for 2 months and was hitting the road again. Am I a workaholic or a masochistic? I suppose part of me is happy to seek tranquility in my work and the other part of me did entertain thoughts of being a SAHM.

Support is really important when one is is a FTWM and for that, I have my in-laws to thank. Many FTWM would celebrate the support given by their other half but my hubs leads a jet-setting life, so mostly I'm left to fend for myself. I recall the first month being extremely tough as I didn't have a confinement nanny and had to look after lil bunnikins myself at night. It was hell as bunnikins woke up every 2-3 hours to feed. On the 3rd wk, the hub had to fly right up till the day of her 1mth celebration and meanwhile, i had to be in charge of the logistics for the celebration. It wasn't easy given that I could not leave the house. Thank goodness for the Internet and my BIL who did most of the leg work for me and my cousin who helped me piece together 50 sets of 1st mth cake packages. Yup. I must be mad to do up my own boxes and cakes, but that just some of the things i did to keep myself occupied and the blues away since lil bunnikins didn't quite allow me to sleep. Yup, her sleep pattern was shit and again, for that, i have my in-laws to thank. haha...They'd usually come over to my place after work to have dinner and afterwhich, it was Fun fun fun and over-stimulation for the baby.

See those little flowers on each box? they were painstakingly handmade by me! Am rather proud of myself for putting the whole affair together!

Tags made by me, Cakes baked by the cousin and eggs made by MIL. The rest were bought and pieced together.

Fortunately, life as an only child has prepared me for this. Ironic it sounds? You see, in my family, my parents didn't believe in pampering. In fact, their motto in parenting is "Spare the rod and spoil the child". Thus I grew up resilient and was able to weather whatever curveballs life threw at me. Well almost. I do cave into fits of insanity and have episodes of hormonal imbalances when things on my plate gets a little overwhelming, but hey, I'm only human!

Today, bunnikin's sleep patterns are still quite crappy though a big improvement from before and i celebrate the fact that I'm a FTWM. It has pushed me to the limit and forced me to multitask like never before. Often, I'm impressed with my efficiency for having to do the chores myself, cook her food, teach her, play with her, pump in the car (due to the nature of my job i had to do that whilst breastfeeding) and work! All these are possible as my work mostly takes me from 2-10pm. However, guilt does kick in when I step into the house and bunnikins is asleep. I'm always told that she'll be calling for me each time bedtime (and milk time) comes. Once, she was yearning for my return and stood by the main door, in the dark, waiting. I was, of coz, no where to be seen. It is times like these that I entertain thoughts of being a SAHM or WAHM at the very least. But, NAhhhhhh....it's far too tiring! haha..imagine having to think of activities 24/7 and facing a kid who is now gathering momentum towards her terrible two...hmm..that thought scares me. Furthermore, the feel of being financially independent is adrenaline pumping. So, even though there are times when things seems awfully tough due to the immense lack of sleep and the shitload of work, I have to persevere and continue my journey as a FTWM. How else would I be able to feed my shopping obsession? Don't forget, i'm a shopaholic by avocation. Someone needs to stop me from buying more dresses and bags! If there's a shopaholic anonymous program, I should sign up!