Marital differences over designer bags

what's wrong with me? I'm just not in the mood to blog. Somehow, there are lots in the mind, but m painfully lazy to pen them down. Immobilized, paralyzed, hypnotized? Maybe after the Os and the forthcoming trip, I'd be better? Or maybe not? The list of things on my plate seems endless. I need some ME time to reflect. Solitude is the only empowerment I could give myself. Exhaustion just hits you and it's been a long drawn week. It's just been an endless fight against wave after wave of fatigue. I really need something to look forward to, just to endeavor to the end.

There was indeed something I was looking fwd. Wanted to a B bag and told the hub. Wanted him to share the joy and give some opinion (or perhaps even sponsor? YA RITE!) But the earth-shattering discovery came -- he disapproved of my $XXXX wishlist. Not a surprise. What really put me off was that he did not even bother to look. He merely said no. Why do I even bother asking him? To begin with, it's my moolah! Secondly, he was the one enjoying his time in Taiwan and Australia, so what's with being more open-minded on this matter? I wasn't even adamant on the purchase. I know it's not reasonable and pragmatic. Prolly I can deceive myself into thinking it's a good investment. In terms of cost, it may be a few thousands, but the benefit == happiness, surely that's priceless! Marital differences. But come on, every girl has their wish! I can't even remember when was the last time I pampered myself. Really wish for more in this department. I hate to admit it, but there is really no compelling reason to buy such a pricey bag, except an inexplicable conviction that I deserve it and it will make me happy. I've been battling with this conflicting impulse the entire wk and the angst is going up a notch coz I can only online window shop! Am sooo in need of retail therapy, but with the end of the year coming, it equates to road taxes, property taxes, car installments, summons etc... all these amidst the lull period. I wouldn't be so worried if it weren't that he is golfing, goofing and enjoying whilst job hunting. Can't stop you from your rendezvous, but the financial standings ain't strong enough to justify. I guess that's the diff between men and women. Pardon the emotive onslaught of words bursting to spew coz it's the end of the year and the way things are going, it's screwing up the neuronal cells.

At this juncture, I've just made a date with retail therapy! Gonna shop (even if it means window shop) and chill out with gf this Sunday! Woohoo!

Mulberry Alexa vs Proenza Schouler

Jimmy Chooooo's Candy Acrylic Clutch! Delicious!

Prada knitted clutches

I tend to gravitate towards black and grey so bright bags in my closet certainly would serve as an essential role in making sure I don't look like I'm constantly headed to a funeral! Bottega Veneta *Swoon*

Ahhh I want them all!!

Alexander McQueen..hmmm a little too vogue for my lappy?

Assurance. Love. Hugs. Kisses. The science of the soul is worth exploring.

Happy 4th Anniversary

I wanted to entitle the post "Woe-is-gone?" as a continuation from the post before, but thought with the above title, it'd be easier to search in future when I feel am hit by nostalgia and feel like reminiscing. But don't worry, this is not entirely a soliloquy on love.

Much has happened since you were back. An influx of emotions welled up in me due to your insensitivity which constantly render me helpless. It certainly didn't help with that message from a certain someone albeit "by mistake". You have turned me into a paranoid monster, constantly speculating about possible future harms and catastrophic effects which confined me into a mentality of victimhood, resulting in social and relationship paralysis. This irrational fear always creeps in for some strange reason. It's not easy to rekindle such intense love and reading teenage blog posts on puppy love sends a strange tingle down my spine. I want that sensation once more. Like bubbles in soda water! A relationship requires time, effort and reciprocity. Expectations in a relationship are usually implicit, subtle and unsaid, and as a result prone to neglect.

However, I've straightened my thoughts, at least for now. With newfound courage and determination, I'm trying to silence my nagging doubts. Life is filled with positive and negative moments. Good times don't come easy and I believe one must go looking for good times. I revel my good moments and try to stretch them as much as I can. We all have an invisible bucket which can be filled or emptied depending on what others do or say to us. Making strangers feel good is chicken feat compared to making those we love feel good. Seems that the people we love are the ones who try us the most. But that as it may, working towards a positive home environment must be the number one priority in our lives. John Gottman's research on marriage suggests that a magic ratio of 5 : 1 in terms of the balance of positive to negative interactions is crucial for a successful marriage. Without a doubt, we all love positive moments. We all suffer from negativity bias, that is, we react to the bad more strongly and persistently than to the comparable good. Research shows one consequence of negativity bias is that when people's thoughts wander, they tend to begin to brood. Anxious or angry thoughts capture our attention more effectively than happier thoughts. Perhaps my mind's a wanderer, which explains the constant negative status updates on FB -- which is amazing as my plate is amazingly full! (I'm at Session 3 of my course right now and have just printed a stack of notes to plough through. Thankfully, the exam season is coming to an end)

Read this off somewhere: When u are feeling overwhelmed (U bet I am!), schedule a breather for yourself (hmmm when??). You'll equip yourself to deal more effectively with tough situations. Give yourself a proper vacation. Sit down and enjoy what you are doing! You bet I will! Can't wait for the forthcoming trip to Phuket! Air tix and a gorgeous ocean view suite with in-room jacuzzi has been booked! Everything looks set to let the bucket overflow.

On a happier note, to mark our anniversary on 14th October 2010, the following were done to fill my bucket:


Massage, Feet Soak, Mud Wrap and ear candling for TWO! The whole works @ Aramsa, the Garden Spa. Nice sanctuary though customer service could be improved on. At least put on a smile! The massage did not start on time, but ended 5 minutes earlier (they thought we weren't counting). However, as I lounged myself in their relaxation room, sipping the lemongrass/ ginger tea and nibbling on some oatmeal sesame biscuit, everything seemed to be insignificant.
Package amounted to $396 before taxes.

Dinner was @ the highly rated Morton's of Chicago. Sweetie was in the MOOD and wanted to splurge thus Morton's it was. Tried making a reservation but was told that earliest seating was at 915pm due to overwhelming business that night. Mind you, it was a weekday!


Service excellent! Knowing that it was my anniversary (they asked, thus I told!), they printed a menu specially for us with the words "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY". N they were ours to keep!


The whole place was bustling with activities. Several groups of executives packed the room. We were oblivious to their presence and engaged in our lovey dovey talks (if any), but were half the time shouting at the top of our voices.



For starters: Pacific Oysters on the Half Shell for HIM and Lobster Bisque for ME. Have this insane passion for lobster bisque and was high on expectations, however, the bisque at Morton's is a tad too creamy for my liking. lacks flavour from the sea. Oysters however were fresh!


Mains: Filet Mignon, Bearnaise Sauce.
Sweetie desperately wanted to plunge his knife into the succulent piece of meat but I intercepted and managed to take a shot.


Definitely Medium rare! Done with perfection. Sweetie had no complaints that night. Usually he'd be grumbling incessantly about how overly done or bloody the meat is, but tonight, he was speechless and sinking his teeth in this delectable treat.
Broiled Salmon Filet, Chef's Sauce Beurre Blanc
Broiled doesnt sound too exciting initially, but taste it and you won't regret. It's slightly crispy at the bottom but probably because I'm having too much cream, I couldn't finish the huge piece of steak! GOSH! There goes part of the $52!


Sides -- Lyonnaise Potatoes were charged separately and thanks to our "talking menu" (yes, a waitress, who knew it was our first time, came forth to introduce the various cuts and chef recommendations on the menu. Her bubbliness was infectious and apart from that, she was armed with a trolley of beef steaks , alaskan king crab legs etc. Impressed)


As it was our anniversary, dessert was on the house! How sweet is that? Furthermore I didn't need to be a cheapskate this time and ask! We ordered their Hot lava Chocolate cake. A must-try! The warm chocolate is a perfect complement to the ice-cold vanilla by the side. Heavenly! Despite all the shit, cheers to a happy 4th and many more to come!

The staff at Morton's went on to impress me by taking shots of us and giving them to us as gifts! I was speechless and bowled over by their service standards. Well, good things don't come cheap, cheap things don't come good. The meal was the most exorbitant thus far. That day itself, we must have spent close to $1k! OMG! Shall be eating wanton noodles at East Coast Park Food Centre next year! haha


How can the night be done without a present from the hubs? Thank you darling! I hope the gifts get "upgraded" every year! :)


Baby, I know it's tough living with someone whom you deem is perpetually having PMS every month/ day. Thank you for putting up with all my nonsense. We have survived 12yrs without killing each other, thus chances are we're in a good place.

"You can't have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time."

"Keep the eyes wide open before marriage and half shut afterwards." - Benjamin Franklin

Woe-be-gone

To entertain such a thought is scary enough. But to receive an acknowledgment, void of emotions n w/o hesitation is beyond melancholy.

The first post after the long hiatus meant to be a happy one and due in the next 48hrs, but unfortunately, God has once again twirled my fate round his fingers. A test once more. i was truly looking forward to launching the blog with a bang after hibernating for so long. I was honestly beaming with exuberance and could imagine the happy thoughts and pictures I'd be posting. Ecstasy was literally screaming from every fibre in my body as I await your arrival in anticipation. However it's now all different. I feel a twinge of bereavement coz it has died and in that split second, I was plummeted into the depths of despair. My spirits are at an all-time low right now and there's no one to confide at this hour, except for good friend N.Thank u, N, for being here for me in my darkest moments. Thank you for listening and reassuring me that I'm sane and letting me know that u'd always be here for me.

So what if I'm drowning in my own sorrows or wallowing in my own despair. Would u understand this bottled up feeling or adamantly refuse to listen to the root of things? Prolly not. In exchange, I'd probably be chided for my rampage. Explanation lingered a the tip of my tongue but yet I failed to verbalise it each time as I'm shot by the incessant torrent of accusations or rational alternatives. My throat constrict as you post a "yes/ no" question. Rational I'm not, Emotional I am. Control as I may try, but sometimes certain things are beyond my control. Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus in case you missed that out in your life lessons.

Right now, the pang of pain is gripping ever so tightly but life still must go on. I have to stifle those tears.

Haitus due to exams and a host of others

Exhaustion is hitting me like a sledgehammer. I'll be back with a vengeance after all the hullabaloo!

GOOD LUCK to all my dear PSLE students! Your aspirations are your possibilities!

Suicidal

WHY DON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? I CAN'T TAKE THE SHIT ANYMORE!

The bang is still reverberating in my ears

I've a list of things to blog about, unfortunately, the mind is willing but flesh is weak. Especially after receiving news the following news: Central Weather Bureau (CWB) warned of torrential rainfall on Sunday and transportation services were suspended as Taiwan braced Saturday night for a direct hit by Typhoon Fanapi. What has Taiwan got to do with me? Everything! The Hubs is there now! The heart has been feeling extremely unsettled since yesterday. Each time he ventures abroad, I'll worry and sometimes get overly paranoid. Naturally! He means the world to me!

Because of this, sleep has been compromised and today, after working from 9-6pm, and after rushing around like a mad woman, running errands, the consequences finally caved in -- A minor accident, at the junction of Bedok Reservoir View, on my way to B's house for mooncake fest. The mind seemed to have switched off momentarily after the lights turned green. Upon releasing the brakes, the next thing I heard was the reverberation of the bang. A slight one but it was sonorous no less. I could hear my own pulses as my heart palpitated. A quick check revealed that there were minor scratches. Hopefully no dents though my suspicion is heightened after continually reviewing the photos. My face blanched with trepidation and eyes faltered with fear. Perhaps seeing this, the driver put on an amicable tone, constantly assuring me that it's a small matter and he'll send in to his mechanic for an assessment. Prolly a quick touchup or spray-paint would suffice. The entire scene is now rewinding constantly in my mind, like a reel rolling out a horror flick. I've been driving for 12 years and nothing as such happened. The record has always been clean (ok, there was just this once when I was still a greenhorn). Being a newbie in this, I was naturally cowering in fear and the erratic thumping of my heart was driving me into deeper panic. However, the rational and practical side of me told me there's nothing to fear if money can settle it all. Told the hubs and after knowing that I was fine, he hung up. Overseas calls are a killer and he must have figured it wasn't worth talking to an inconsolable woman. Distraught, in disarray....words simply cannot spell out how I'm feeling now. I'm relishing a good hug or a comforting voice. Even a shower wasn't enough to neutralise the incident. The only comfort I sought from was from my trusty insurance agent. I didn't know who to look for. Friends galore, but it's sometimes difficult to discern who my real friends and fair weather ones are. It's not like I've committed something treacherous or shameful, but I had to be selective as to whom I'm hearing from. It's probably a girl's thing. Ok this doesn't really make sense since I'm seeking solace by blogging! IRONIC!

Upon reflecting, I was probably too absorbed in the day's events. Tired out by the spectrum of activities and worry. Good winds may be filling the sails of the economy, but finding a job is still not a breeze. Needless to say, the hub's happy-go-lucky nature probably left him to dismiss today's episode as a small matter. We seem to always be on opposite trajectories. It is a clear manifestation that in an event of need, I may not have a single next-of-kin to turn to. A sordid affair of my fears. Though, to be fair, the bro-in-law was a call away to give me sound advice. Rationally, I've got things covered. Several advisers around. But emotionally, it's a different story altogether.

I've chalked up my reaction to exhaustion. Hopefully that would give me some undisturbed sleep tonight. The tummy isn't cooperating and the aura seems to be acting up on me again. Today's drama has further scratched that sensitive spot which most people develop when approaching a certain age horizon. Inexplicably, this encounter made me so morose.

I can only pray hard for the calming of the mind, feelings of peace and comfort, decreased inner conflict, increased ability to be an observer of myself and my life

Delicacy of Nobility

A new day beckoned, the majestic ball of fire made its dramatic entrance, signaling the start of a brand new day. Really appreciated the fact that I had the Saturday off. It was nice to break the monotony. My mind often grapples with shock at how time flies. I had to rediscover the joy of work-life balance and put things in perspective. Slept like a baby and awoke from my deep slumber to the tune of the gentle morning breeze crooning outside my window.

Made reservations to taste the delicacies of nobility @ St Regis -- Yan Ting Restaurant:




Name of sculpture: The Nude Couple. hmm...hope I don't look like that when I get older! *GULP*

The temptation of the mouth-water gastronomic fanfare was too much for me to abstain from. Clearly, my diet plans had to be thrown out of the window (if there were any to begin with). Everything seemed so tantalizing and I was eager to consume the temptation there and then. Portions were nice for two. Many a times I wanted to go for dim sum with the hubs but am afraid of over-ordering. Here, the problem is solved with most items coming in pairs. Prices are however on the high side. Eg. Mango Pomelo Dessert ($8)-- Yes, clearly I was oblivious to the price and pampering myself blindly. Char siew sou ($3.6 for 2). Sweet and savoury bits of char siew within the golden coat of buttery flaky pastry. Perfect.


My tastebuds exploded in utter delight when I sank my teeth in one of my favourite dim sum items -- Carrot cake. I do hope my aunt would order this for 2011 Chinese New year.


Stir-fried rice roll ($6) with XO sauce. An interesting dish which tasted quite like its cheaper cousin-- Char Kway Teow. Its full-bodied taste lingered in my mouth.
There's also the a la carte Dim Sum buffet going at $98 ++ but I wasn't ready to expand the waistline.

Inviting tradition. Signature mooncakes handcrafted by Yan Ting's Masterchefs. I was drawn by the fact that it was Sugar-free. Perfect for the MIL who doesn't have a sweet tooth! At $60 for a box of 4 Sugar-free White Lotus Paste, it's bigger tab than other hotels but well-suited to be bestowed to your most-cherished elders. I was hoping that I could sample some of the other snow-skinned versions like Almond snow skin mooncake with Japanese sweet potato paste which is coloured by the natural purple hues of the creamy Okinawan sweet potato, or the Seven perfumes snow skin with yolk and white lotus paste or the exotic Seven perfumes Snow skin with Martel Cordon Bleu Cognac Truffle and White Lotus Paste -- That sounds out of this world. However, there was no sampling and I could not purchase only one to try. :(

After the YOG, this was finally the first decent meal I had with sweetie. I think it has been a month now since we've sat down together for a meal. Wanted to patronize Blooies @ Siglap but parking was a nightmare thus we ventured further and made a spontaneous decision to dine at BIG FISH. It has been in business for quite some time now and I thought we gave it a try. The lobster bisque was a disappointing number. Sweetie commented that I made better crab bisque. The pan-seared cod which I ordered also did not make the mark.


Met up with H on Friday night. My tummy and head were raging war on me once again thus I decided to head for a healthy option -- NAIVE @ Katong. I've probably blogged about it previously but once is not enough for this place. Natural and simple. Fantastic and healthy-asian menu from purely plant-based ingredients with no meat, no eggs, no garlic, no msg. Sounds impossible? Well they certainly managed to pass the stringent test and serve up a mean meatless meal! The Sweet and Sour Tofu was so good it makes one wonder if one is having the meat version! The Monkeyhead mushrooms with broccoli was also one of my favourites! Its texture was like chicken! Amazing. I'm totally bowled over by this revolutionary find! Love the decor and design too. Apparently it's designed by a budding artist who is part of a youth group called NOISE. The shop closes rather early though (10pm). I guess it's in line with being healthy.

The obscurity of the night is slowly creeping in.The crescent moon hung ceremoniously accompanied by a couple of stars twinkling like an entourage. For now, I'm just savouring what's left of the wonderful Saturday and hopefully Sunday will bring more delight!