It's one of those late night musings -- I'm no longer sur eif I have a lot ot say/ a lot to tell, but I realised that my previous post was a little disturbing and needed some reconciliation. After 3 days of escape, I was ready to face the music. Someone had to play the Devil's Advocate and that person was ME. We had a good talk and spat it out. It felt good. The fundamentals are strong (needless to say after more than 10 years!), but the ideals and frequency at times can be warped. Especially so, when I'm a planner and he's not. I'm someone who if I can't see $6k (just a random number we conjured during our 'discussion), I'll freak out. He's someone who claims he can get $6k anytime (through cashlines and parents perhaps?) When will this viscious cycle end, I asked him. There's simply no security in our future and it seems that I'm the one working my arse out for the sake of my own insecurity. Sad to say, everything around us revolve around money and without it, we'd probably can't do much planning. Eventually, he gave in to my concerns. Whether or not he truly understood where I was coming from doesn't matter anymore coz he just wanted life to go on as usual and he wanted me to be happy. For me, he'd do anything.
Happiness is neither virtue or pleasure but simply growth. We are happy that we are growing day by day. In the past, he'd probably fling the chair and curse and swear, but now, he'd be the one wanting to talk. He used to be hopelessly inarticulate but is improving as we move along. As for me, learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace. That should be my motto since his rationale is "whats the use of worrying? It's never worthwhile. Wish i can be so happy-go-lucky. Happiness is man's greatest aim in life. Tranquility and rationality are hte cornerstones of happiness. We must try to give each other support and wisdom and make the journey ahead a happier one.
