Recalibration of pre-marriage friendships

Sunday, November 28, 2010

The weekend hadn't been good. I thought I had a good start on Friday, with a good booze with an old friend W, but alas, it's been downhill ever since.

Firstly, the effigy of my life (or rather, OUR lives) is back in action. This time, suggesting that the problem may lie in us. It's inevitable that marriage can change the complexity of previous friendship. I have no qualms about a married person maintaining a friendship with the opposite sex, but perhaps it's all a matter of degree and context. One should definitely draw the line at maintaining the platonic friendships with the opposite sex after marriage. The fact that intimate issues are discussed at unearthly hours is a cause of some hurt and chagrin. There should probably be rules on this. Yet such are not explicitly laid out and in general, women are more sensitive. How would one feel if his/ her partner is constantly texting or msging the opposite sex? Definitely not "proper" in my opinion and the partner may take it the wrong way. At the very least, even if we don't become best pals, we should at least be on friendly terms and know what's going on. It'd be great if our social circle dovetails. Right now, I sense deceit of some sort. Silly as it sounds, I feel cheated and unloved. Probably inadequate in fulfilling his every need. But I've an innate capacity for chatter so what's wrong? Maybe it's too much. There's a new person in your life now and she takes top priority, regardless of attention of time. However, the hub probably begs to defer as he casually puts it: we have our whole life together! Relationship experts say couples should make time for each other and make that time a priority. I have tried so hard, I'm fell really ill last night. It was miserable enough that I'm ill, but.....(not going to divulge too much for fear that I'm a nag) Alright, to lay the finger on this is absolutely ridiculous. I'm a hopeless romantic, something which is lacking in his department. Need to re-calibrate my thoughts.

If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.
~ Lao Tzu

All I want for Christmas is.........

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Some may wish for world peace (something we take for granted in Singapore). Some may wish for material wealth (i don't blame them coz I want some too!). Some may wish for great results (GOOD LUCK to those receiving PSLE results next week). Some may wish for love. My wish?

All I want for Christmas is a ___________________.

I teared and looked the epitome of sadness today because of this.
Will Santa Claus grant my wish this year?

A day as a Star

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Had a funfilled day @ One Fullerton today as a star. Well, not quite. An extra was more like it! haha Friend W & J were having their pre-wedding shots taken and some of us were roped in as extras. I must say, I'm rather bemused at how pre-wedding shots are these days. Loads of brainstorming and expensive overseas trips. Thank goodness I had mine way early, I don't think the hub and I can undergo such tedious episodes. What eludes me is how the bride is able to smile so radiantly at the end of the day. My evening shots were pretty stiff and the smile seemed plastered on my face. Rants aside, here's a peek at what happened behind the camera:

Chanced upon this structure whilst waiting for the happy couple. interesting concept. It's made of plastic Starbucks cups. Some parts even spin when the wind blows.

Looks pweety isnt it?

Look @ how professional the photograher was!

Hub and I were fooling around whilst they were doing the shoot. B had a pack of China Cigs, thus I used it as a prop for a shot. MISTAKE. The hub pursed his lips on the tip and B insisted that he take it. URGH! It's been a long while (at least to my knowledge) that he has picked up that nasty stick. Killing the bad habit for the sake of love and health has made me tremendously proud of him. Please don't go back to your old ways baby, I want you to grow old with me!

Presenting, the future Mr & Mrs L :) Ok we should probably wait for the professionally taken photos. Mine are so sub-standard! time to buy a DSLR? hmmm

Selamat Hari Raya!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Having a strange feeling. Was really anticipating this public holiday, however, I was left lost. Was hoping to spend some quality time with the hubs, but the blistering heat left us with no choice but to stay home and bum around. Literally.

In some perverse way, I wanted more work. Then again, maybe not. I'm paralyzed with apprehension and self-doubt. I know, I'm incoherent and aimless. Asked F today, what keeps him motivated. If you thought that the answer was money, you are wrong. He said that it was that he's aimless. He doesn't know when he'd be satisfied thus he just keeps working. Asked the hubs the same question and guess what? The answer was the same! the hub's reply was he is motivated to have a place to stay and 3 square meals. A simple aim to attain so that one may die without regrets. I'm permanently scarred by the incessant chase for an aim and currently, I need some sign to move forward with. I'm reluctant to sort out my 2011 schedule coz I know things always have a way of screwing up once I do so.


My printer got resurrected for free! YEAH! ERrrrr Time for more work?

Went with the cousin-in-law for lunch at Prive. Luxury to be spending time by the bay on a Saturday afternoon. The Beef Stew according to her wasn't quite up to standard. Looked oily. My seafood wrap as usual was pretty good :)

The above was a meal for two! Yes, we overdid ourselves again. It's really insane, I'm eating like no tomorrow and refusing to get my fat ass to exercise for some bizzare reason. I do try to lift the dumbbell when I'm int he mood, but my attempts are feeble.

Had a mad craving for pasta just last week and decided to give the parchment pizza @ Pizzahut which many other bloggers were raving about. However, I was terribly disappointed as it wasn't on their menu. The waitress didn't even know what I was talking about! Ended up eating some salty pasta. They also ran out of warm chocolate cake...sigh..was dying for a sweet dessert! Anyway, the above ie. Cream Urchin with Clam & Mushroom Linguine and Cabonarra Mushroom & Clam Linguine. Now that's what I call (homecook) Pasta! Needless to say, I tucked in with much gusto. I'm definitely in denial that I look fetchingly svelte like on my wedding day!

Am having a rather surreal feeling. Sitting in front of the lappy, slapping on my SK2 mask and having my nails done earlier today. This feeling is unheard of and it's really making me uncomfortable. Then again, it could do with some getting used to. :)

Till we meet again

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Am trying hard to be emotionally detached right now but it's so hard. I miss my babies. We've went through an average of 6 yrs. An arduous yet fun journey no less. Parting is so hard and it's gonna be a seismic change. On Friday, I said goodbye to 3 of my dearest. From little petite gals, they've now blossomed into fine young ladies. Though we've never explicitly expressed our loves for each other, the last day was filled with tears. Our floodgates just opened uncontrollably. Was really heartening that a parent even wanted to have a party for me! wow! Touched beyond words.


OMG! this isn't a very flattering picture of me -- Double NECK and all!

Rino gave a huge nonchalant yawn initially but somehow he realised it was our last day and he gave me an adorable pose. *Sob*

Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends.
~Richard Bach

Escapade to Phuket!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Solitude is an empowerment I can give myself and this time, it's me, myself and the hubs @ Phuket! A long awaited trip since my solo Japan trip in mid 2010 which didn't seem too long ago, but work this year has been particularly hectic and you don't realise the fatigue seeping in until you stop work.

That's the problem when you travel on budget. Not enough leg space thus some asshole from behind decided to stick his huge, fungi-infested big toe through my armrest. I was rudely awoken from my siesta by the tickling sensation which sent chills down my spine even now when I think of it!

Our resort was RayaBuri Beach Club, which was situated at the secluded end of Patong Beach. Very nice area and only 6 suites facing the sea. Wasn't quite what I've imagined, but I guess for the price I paid, I had to be satisfied. It was really sweet of them to do up the room as it was our "honeymoon"

Waking up each morning, breathing in the fresh air, was something beyond description. It is during such periods of relief and serenity, that I truly appreciate nature.

Right after a quick booze and an unsatisfying bite (sweetie commented that I cook better Tom Yum Soup), we rented an adorable pink bike for 200bht per day. the hubs looked silly riding it, but thank goodness for him, else we wouldn't be having such great fun!

The night progressed with great food! Was really anticipating this part of the trip. The aroma of appetite-whetting foods wafted in the air the minute we set foot in the restaurant.

The entire skyline was lit by the illuminating glow as brightly-lit pubs and discos decorated Bangla Street. The streets had funny names ie Soi Tiger, Soi Lion, Soi Vegas. It was at least 15 yrs back that I've been to such a place and back then, as I was a kid, I didn't know much thus I practically fell asleep whilst the "performances" were on. Was really keen on watching a sleazy "Tiger" show but the hub said they'd usually fleece you and pressure you to buy alcohol. Seeing that budget's tight, I decided to give it a miss. The hub wasn't too keen on seeing such acts too. Am pretty thankful that his testosterone were not triggered by such thoughts!

Taking peektures with ladyboys. Told the hub to take a picture with them, grabbing onto their breasts but he actually resisted! haha

The dissonance of the bustling traffic intensified as the night progressed but I was indifferent as I soaked in the in-room jacuzzi.

Day 2: I was roused from my deep slumber by anticipation. Look @ how refresh I am! The stinging chill of daybreak was slapping my face, turning it rosy in a heartbeat. I passed the balcony and saw silvery mist cloaking the land as dewdrops glistening on blades of coconut leaves gradually evaporating into the sky which was a dual hue of orange and purple. The picturesque scene woke me up as I immersed in the company of whom you love. That is something money cannot buy.

Look ma, I've got big boobs too!

A new day beckoned. With its brilliant rays being cast across the land, an artist's masterpiece was created. GOOD MORNING! The glorious morning sun was rising higher and higher into the cerulean blue sky.

the adventurous duo strikes again. Armed with a map and some directional sense, we headed towards Phuket town which was disappointingly small and nothing much but food, food and more food.

We were going round in circles and made a stop to orientate ourselves. Guess where we had to stop?

Entrusted my life to this man whom I call my Husband. the journey (pun intended) was an arduous one with several steep turns to negotiate and mountainous regions to overcome. At that instant, the trust I had in him rekindled. Faith is such a big word that comes with his partner, Trust. Despite being shaken due to recent events, the string that I fervently hold onto, one that I might absentmindedly twirl as I think, is still pretty strong. I just hope some people around him (a particular someone whom I wish would vanish from this face of this earth) would stop calling at unearthly and inappropriate hours just to bitch about her fantasies and escapades. Totally improper. Inappropriate and shaking the faith. Call me petty but that's definitely the rights of a wife! Take a step back and you'd realise how tolerant and magnanimous I've been. Sometimes, human beings can be so oblivious and unappreciative.

Made a stop before we went uphill to visit the Big Buddha. Check out the undernourished wing which is as small as a shrimp!

Along the way up to see the Big Buddha of Phuket. The view was breathtaking and peektures do no justice.

The radiating heat intensified the tangy salty air of the ocean creating an invigorating mix to the delightful afternoon. The gentle breeze blew across the beach, soothing and caressing my skin.

The symphony of sheepish giggles and boisterous laughter of the weekenders at the beach was a soothing merry tune. Wish everyday was like this.

The hubs wanted a good meal at a good restaurant, thus we decided to give Chicago Steakhouse a try. Don't expect too much though. Prices start from 250bht onwards.

Strolled back to our hotel and couldn't resist having a nutella crepe which cost only 40bht! Enjoyed this dessert with the love one by the beach. The cool breeze brought with it the calming scent of the evening as the day got ready to retire. The final moment of the night was surreal as time seemed to pause to catch its concluding breath.

A luxury indeed. Enjoying a hilarious movie (Grown-up) with hub over some booze and Char Siew Bao flavoured potato chips! The night sky was studded with glittering stars. The absence of clouds allows the stars to form a stark contrast against the sky. I wish everything would momentarily pause as I embraced in his hugs and kisses.

Day 3: The last day of our trip was plagued with several events. First up a flat tyre! Thankfully we have completed all our adventures. I cannot envision what would have happened if we were stranded with a flat on top the Big Buddha hill! I'd really need to pray hard for help then!
Wasted an hour in the morning and 150bht to get it fixed. Talk about efficiency.

Finally had a bowl of my favourite, addictive chicken kway teow!

the discovery of a Premium outlet @ Phuket led to an orgasmic high but upon arrival, it was a disappointment. The selection of stores were pathetic with no big brands except mediocre brands like Adidas and Nike and of coz the big boys of golf. Tried really hard to reach the minimum amount to claim VAT ie. 2000bht but failed miserably! Ended up buying some lingerie and sweetie bought some golf accessories.

The hubs had indigestion and the runs on our last night. What a bummer! Coupled with the fact that he received calls from that certain someone, i plummeted into a rather foul mood. I had this picture in my mind: The fury seething in me had turned me into a nose-flaring monster that was literally breathing fire. Why are some people just low on EQ? The ring tone clearly indicates that we are overseas. Why the persistence? I controlled. Didn't want to end the trip on a bad note. Clenching my hands into a tight fist, I retracted the indignation which was earlier emitting from my eyes. (PS it didn't help that upon arrival in SG, a miss call/ msg was received and the hub insensitively wanted to meet up with her. Why the urgency to meet someone else's hubby? Get a life bitch! Go whine to your bf or bff!)

Didn't have a good sleep on the last night. Tossed and turned in bed. The bustling atmosphere of the night ceased and was punctuated only by the occasional honking which I was initially oblivious to. Wanted to play Monopoly with the hubs, but he was really not up to it. There was utterly nothing to do and I had finished my reads. the telly had really poor reception and due to constant surge of electricity, one particular bulb kept flickering. The obscurity of the night was augmented by the eerie silence. Finally, after an hour or so, I managed to get some rest. However, panic invaded the room as I heard a blast. Worried that the hub fainted or a bomb had ignited, I literally jumped out of bed!I could hear my own pulses as my heart palpitated with the chilling fear that was setting in. With my blurry eyesight, the hubs explained that one of the bulbs in the toilet had exploded and fragments of glass were in the jacuzzi! Talk about an eventful night! Thank God the hub was not injured!

Arrived way early at the airport which was a distance away (around 30min drive). There was effectively nothing much to do but eat. Shopping at DFS wasn't cheap.

Finally, boarded the plane and was on our way home. Look at the cute stewardess in the adorable huge pink glasses! She talked funny too! haha

The aberration of this weekend was a welcome. Now, what's next?