Get ready to whet your appetite!

Just got back from the movies. Caught Angels and Demons, staring Tom Hanks. Good show albeit the many accents which I had to catch! The lingo's rather catchy too, perhaps coz I'm not well versed in the religious terms. I've been trying to give my devote more time to my blog (for whatever reasons I'm not so sure), but I failed miserably. I thought this wk would be more of a breather, but somehow I was wrong. Was slogging till Thursday when I could finally go for a haircut! Visited Cassey @ Palais Renaissance and M was the guy! He took a load off me literally! The head massage he gave me whilst washing my hair was a rejuvenating welcome. Been plagued with migraines after basking in and out of the tormenting sun. The heat is simply berating us with a vengeance I tell u! Each time I'm out, I feel consumed by the fumes! Anyway, the haircut was truly an aesthetic experience. I drifted in and out of sleep whilst having my hair cut! Yes. That's how tired I am.

After an hour, I sashayed down Orchard and with a spontaneity bug, I entered Isetan Lido. Saw a pair of Celine heels.....Ohhhhh how I wish they were mine!!!! Was in tremendous need of retail therapy. I've been holed up long enough. Call it anti-recession therapy or whatsoever, I needed to spend small. The items were however disappointing, perhaps due to budget constraints, I did not really check things out. I miss the States!!! URGH! Couz P was showing to me the stuff she bought on her recent trip to NY...GOSH...I miss Woodsbury!! She must have bought like $1k worth of shoes! I kid you not, that woman is a shoe freak. not to mention a spendthrift! A small part of me was envious (or jealous) nevertheless. In all honesty, despite having a truckload of clothes, shoes and bags, none are obscenely expensive. I should really invest in more practical stuff which spells more glamour or flamboyance perhaps? Expensive, but worth it. However, to do that, I would probably need more moola and approval from sweetie! Men. They won't understand the joy derived from having a different bag to carry each day or the effect that shoes have on us.

Anyway, enough of my musings, feast your eyes...literally:

Me, before going for my haircut @ Cassey's. Looking a little retarded eh?

A Spontaneous decision to cook after grocery shopping at Isetan after my haircut. There was a whole selection of Japanese pre-made sauces and they were calling out to me. Fortunately, it was very much appreciated by sweetie who was starving by the time I got home. Above is a Japanese pancake with cabbage, prawn and octopus filling. It came with the sauces, seaweed and the flakes but I added extra mayo to give it more omph! Turned out really good! Below was our main course. I had linguine in Cod roe and Japanese butter whilst sweetie had his in garlic, mushroom and vegetable sauce. Both of which were extremely salty! Japanese style, what do you expect?

The Japanese feast was served in less than half an hour! Now that's what I call fast food.
This was whipped up some time last wk. Was craving for some omega 3, thus I bought a small slice of fish and tried steaming it with belachan. Not bad but sweetie didn't like the "smelliness". Was trying to emulate what the mee sua stall along Changi Road was selling. Their steam fish are simply out of this world! My result -- 50% close? There must be a particular brand of sauce which they are using! Next on the menu -- Terriyaki chicken. Cooked almost a dozen and was worried that we could not finish. Surprise Surprise! WE DID! in fact, we wolfed down the entired dinner and left no evidence of it! Soup of the day -- Corn, carrot and potato with onion soup. Absolutely SWEET! baby loved it!

Salmon Sashimi -- Sweetie's dessert! Can you believe his appetite? I'm dumbfounded.
Had a relatively short day. Ended at 630pm. Sweetie was very busy at work thus I decided to cook up somethin simple since we still had some dou miao left. Speeded to NTUC Bedok immediately after work and bought the ingredients. In case you are wondering, the curry chicken was not done by me!! DUH...I couldn't be going through such trouble at that hour!

Something simple -- Steam egg. Japanese would call this chawamushi, minus the dashi! Wondering how I managed to make it this smooth? Cover it with foil/ gladwrap whilst steaming. shhhhhh.....mommy certainly did not tell me that! No wonder her steam eggs are always filled with craters! haha!

Soup of the day -- Bittergourd soup! Was entertaining thoughts of having more fibre in my diet, thus this soup. Ok, it's not exactly fibrous, but at least it's a plant! The liver and meat made great stock. This was whipped up within the hour and my tastebuds simply exploded in utter delight when I sank my teeth into the scrumptious dishes!

The thrill of seeing my sweetie enjoying my "fruits of labour" and licking up every last bit of the soup gives me a sense of unexplanable exhilaration. I wish I can tantalise his tastebuds more often, but unfortunately I do not have the luxury to do so. Work and money simply doesn't permit. I yearn for the day where I can pursue my passion, seek knowledge and shop without hesitation and guilt. For now, that will only be a dream.

PS: Did I mention? After much procrastination and feeling the seams suffocating me day by day, I went brisk walking with Couz P on Wednesday after a blood boiling session with J. Each time is a test of patience. Back to brisk walking....we walked from Bedok Court, through the park connector, to East Coast Park, to Bayshore Park Tunnel (was hoping to hit a nearer tunnel, but overestimated our abilities), out the tunnel and back to Bedok Court. My guess on distance travelled -- 6km! Amazingly, I perspired quite a bit! I'm usually really bad at detoxing via my perspiration!

Happy Birthday Lerraine!

I'm back! I was not holed up in some remote mountain, cut from civilisation but am back from the hectic week filled with a languorous itinerary, which rendered me emotionally, physically and mentally weak! Was engulfed in an overwhelming schedule -- 12 hours back to back. No joke. I'm not trying to trumpet but at times, I think I feel far too much for others. Need to really build up a resilience towards such a lifestyle. Really wanted to chill out on Friday night and since the big part of the gang had gone diving, it meant I had sweetie all to myself! yeah!

FRIDAY: Went to BARK CAFE. It's near Changi Chapel + near Changi Prison. Used to be rather quiet, but recently, the crowd picked up. I was surprised that there was a big crowd even at 10pm. Mostly were feasting and celebrating bdays. ahhh...wish everyday's Friday!

The chicken wings, in the words of Kris, were DAMN OWN!!! The pricing's really not exhorbitant and some dishes were rather enticing, in particular the Crayfish HOR FUN! High class isnt it? Expensive but I think it's gonna be worth it.

SATURDAY: I managed to free up some time and attend Chuan's baby girl's bday party at NSRCC. Not wanting to make it a wasted trip, sweetie stole a few moments and did an hour + of chipping and putting. I was made to practise too, but somehow, I don't have such aptitude for the game. My wrists are simply not made for this and when I can't do something well, I get impatient and frustrated. However, one little perk in it is the apparels. Recently, it's deemed trendy to be associated with golf by wearing its apparel, so I guess I'm in the league huh? :-)

Look at sweetie, he makes it seems so easy. The Tiger Woods stance is absolutely perfect. Any advertisers out there who need a model for their golf mag? hahaThe birthday girl! Apparently she doesn't like any Tom Dick or Harry to carry her, but she took an instant liking to me! Refusing to be passed on! hmm..a natural motherly smell on me perhaps?Awwwwwww...look at that adorable pair of shoes!!! So cute right? Heard it's only $3!

Children these days are super lucky! They don't know it's their birthday yet they get a big ass cake with their name on it! To be fair, I did have a huge cake for my 1st bday too, but I didn't have party at a chalet. It was only daddy, mommy and I...the cake was in the shape of the number ONE. Cool for those times!

Look at Lerraine's arm...MICHELLIN style! So cute!

Was feeling terribly bored at the Chalet. The ebullient mood was prevalent indoors with a playground full of children running around and the singles took their seats outdoors. Humidity was at its peak. I can't help but complain. Look at the "bracelet", it was my creation when I burst one of the balloons. OPS! Was too bored la! Didn't know anyone but sweetie and cousin-in-law. Nothing much in common with the rest whom I was introduced. Small talks after a long day bores me. Evidently, sweetie sensed it and suggested we leave early.
SUNDAY: Am I aging gracefully? They say as you age, you don't need that much sleep. I used to be able to sleep till noon, but these days, even though I sleep late, I'll be up at 8am! This is sooo not me! Perhaps it's stress acting up. This was exactly what happened today. A Sunday! Sweetie was up early too. Somehow, we opened our eyes at the same time and looking into his sleepy eyes and knowing that he is there for me, makes me feel completely blessed.

Washed up and headed to Vivocity for Macs. It's pleasant to be out early as you don't have to fight for a parking space. Macs was exceptionally crowded today.

After spending an hour at Macs, catching up on readings, oblivious to the screams of irritating toddlers, we headed for some shopping. Needed some anti-recession therapy. Ok, it's a buying frenzy excuse. Checked out F21, Topshop, Warehouse and RiverIsland (which incidentally, was having a sale). INSANELY BORING! What were they selling? F21 and Topshop looked like they got their supplies from THIS FASHION! The only thing which caught my eye was this Dianamite black watch fm RiverIsland. Only $40. It was enticing me to part with my money but the practical side of me said NO. well done! There was this other dress from BEBE which caught my eye. Was rather artistic. It was covered with plastic rings, or at least I think they were plastics. After checking out the price, a whopping $395, i decided that it wasn't a trend to eschew. Madness! for that price, I'm just buying a whole lot of plastics! Not very Green in my opinion. Sweetie said it was more for a nightclub mamasan. That did it. I did not buy. :-)

Alright, back to my wkly dose of relaxation and cooking. What's for dinner today? Stay tuned and be treated to a palatable meal. :-)

Give stress wings and let it fly!

The rendezvous has ended. Baby is back. His attempt to psycho me into fetching him from the airport at 6am failed as sleep seemed like a better option. However, to be honest, I wanted to surprise him and pick him up, thereafter do some marketing (I've never been to market that early, thus thought it'd be "fun"). But, cousin-in-law beat me to it and I ended up sleeping through. Well almost. Coz at 6am, it's like a clock was within me, telling me that sweetie had touched down. After tossing for almost an hour, I got worried, especially since it was pouring gorillas and hyenas. What's taking him so long I asked myself. Why isn't he back yet?? Can't help having such feelings when he is the only pillar of my life (apart from my parents that is). CLICK! at 7am, the familiar scent drifted into the masterbed room. My sweetie was back. It's as though we've parted for 5 months and not 5 days. It's strange, considering the fact that we've been together for so long. Perhaps it's just me.

Anyway, thereafter, I could not get back to sleep. Wonder if it's coz of the excitement. Energised, I decided to do some marketing. By my block, there's a small wet market. Very convenient, but not exactly cheap. Bought a whole chicken for $9!! The lady said it's a SAKURA Chicken! I wanted to laugh. SAKURA? from Japan?haha....Went home and started boiling soup! Yes, by 9am everything was very much in place. Scouring the wkend papers, I savoured the brief moment of surrealism. Then, it poured once more. I took a long stare at the rain and was overwhelmed. It's been a long while since I've paused and admire the rain, and at this moment, i felt the view was picturesque.

Was so pleased that by 810am, I've done a couple of chores. Waking early does have its benefits.

Sweetie brought home loads of chocolates. Apparently, they've been hibernating in his uncle's Australia fridge..hmm..I'd better check its expiry date!

It was a spontaneous decision to cook as sweetie took a nap (which eventually turned into a long doze) Thinking that he might have missed my cooking, I whipped up a simple meal which could already whet his appeitite. WELL WISHFUL THINKING ON MY PART! He later told me that he had a whole abalone whilst in Perth and had lamb chops and steaks with two others. That meal cost $400!!! WTF....To think that I'm here teasing my tastebuds with instant noodles! Grrr. Didn't want to wake him up. The relax mode he was so used to hasn't worn out. at 2pm, I could take it no longer and shook him up, else we'd be wasting the day! I actually napped twice in the interim. After lunch, I wanted to have some US time and perhaps go to LIFESTOREY's 1st warehouse sale at Tai Seng. However, he announced that he was going for soccer. Not wanting to burst the bubble and be disappointed by the answer he was gonna give me, I suggesting asking the boys home for dinner. Afterall, how are the both of us gonna finish that bigass SAKURA chick?

Whilst he was away on the field, there was a moment where I was walking aimlessly in my home. I was lost. I had too much time! WOW! tried to sleep, but to no avail, instead, developed a throbbing headache. GRrrr. So on i went on to manoeuvre the clove of garlic. Was craving for Herbal chicken, thus treated myself to it. To balance the diet, I had a plate of kangkong (they call it morning glory in Thailand..wonder why!). It was a successful 2nd attempt. The first was a tat too salty. In addition, I had a pot of lotus soup held tantalisingly close to my mouth. Sweetie always complains I add too much ingredients, wasting a lot of $$..but when he slurps it up and asks for more, he knows that it's all worthwhile.
Today's dinner was a success once again. All dishes were wolfed down and the plates were spotlessly clean! The night wouldn't be complete without a dessert. Mangoes are in season and I couldn't resist buying em yesterday when I was already lugging 6 bags of groceries from Parkway to Katong! Yes, I walked! Madness! All because I wanted to save some parking and had an errand to run at Katong. Nevertheless, it was a blessing for without this arrangement, I would not have chanced upon those sweet and juicy mangoes going at 5 for $10! Not very cheap by my standards but when it went into our mouths, I knew it was all worth it. Our tastebuds simply exploded in utter delight!

The day would have been perfect if not for some people getting back to me late, screwing my schedule tomorrow. The day was made worse when I received a sad news. A student's mom is down with Brain cancer! Was shocked when I learnt about it. The mother seems so strong, always going to work and taking care of the needs of her 4 children. She's the envy of most women. 4 smart children and an ambitious and rich hubby. She made sure they received the best in life, their vitamins and bugging them to study hard. I knew she was going through some health problems as she was admitted to the hospital previously but I didn't know it was that bad. Life is too unpredictable to live by a schedule it seems. You don't know what will hit you. No one can write his autobiography in adance. These perhaps are due to stress. I mean this lady, together with my close friend who was hit by breast cancer previously(THank God she recovered!) have something in common. They have to juggle work and family simultaneously. That's stressful! They have my total respect and in fact, I feel so small next to them. Amidst their health problems, they still put on a cheery face and ensure that things run smooth. N yet, when I'm ploughed with tons of books, I complain of stress. It is stress no doubt, but how do these amazing women do it then? Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. In today's society, we are all SICK in the head! I wish stress has wings and can fly away. Stress is the trash of modern life -- we all generate it but if you don't dispose of it peoperly, it will pile up and overtake your life.

My heart is heavy. I can only pray that all would be smooth and she'll be well again.

The universe revolves around me!

My room has been taken over by BOOKS! All those homework submitted to me are accumulating and screaming for me to do something about them! It's the exam period and I'm engulfed in an overwhelming feeling of anxiety. Hope they all do well and all these effort is worth it! Been teaching from day till night ....extended hours....whilst sweetie is in Australia whacking balls (no pun intended) with cousin-in-law who seems to have endless amount of time. Don't you just envy such people? The jealousy (which i'm entitled to) evaporates as I move along in lonliness. To seek some meaningful forms of indulgence amidst the chaos, I took a really long and relaxing bath (after a few mths of not doing so!) on Wednesday. The feeble pleasure totally enveloped me! With a magazine in one hand and a drink in the other, u can't help but go Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

A while later (at approximately 12midnight), friend came over for supper and a drink. He was plagued with relationship problems and I was more than willing to lend a listening ear. After cheese prata and 3 cans of beer, we found ourselves still chatting like no tomorrow. It's really nice to be in great company and to know that your presence matters. This emo side of me probably exuding due to my attention-deprived life. Though I must say, I chose to have such a lifestyle now, thus should not be wallowing in self-pity. In anycase, back to the problems which he is embroiled in. hmm.it's not important for you to know, but my fren, if you are reading, you should seriously Snap out of it! Don't hang around with such a **** who says one thing but does another. It's tiring to be guessing what the other party wants. It's even more exhausting if he/ she is your ultimate love. Do something about it, else you'd be stuck in this never-ending vortex of frustration and endurance. Think about it.

Below are some pictures of what I've been doing over the wk:Delicious Fish soup!! Bought from Serangoon Ave 2. My Ultimate Favourite!

This wasn't exactly this wk, but I just had to share! It's crab-meat (REAL crab meat!) kway pie ti! Heavenly! $3.80 for 5 pcs available at Chomp Chomp

Indulgence time.......That's kiwi scrub in case you are wondering what slime i'm using.
Envious?..Probably not? The thirst for ME-time was amazingly high. relaxing in the waters with sentimentals played in the background really makes a person's level of endorphine shoot up!on a separate note, two pairs of shoes (VERY NICE ONES) gave way within a wk! I can't believe it! sigh.....M reluctant to spend a bomb on beautiful shoes at Peddar Red or Ninewest...M trying to support local designers (the grey pair was bought from Haji Lane), n yet, this is the crappy quality I get in return!!

Where did the weekend go?

Fluffy scrambled eggs with cracked black pepper; Burgers, Hashbrowns, milo and premium brewed coffee.

What a lovely beginning to the day!

Yes, it's Sunday! Finally! I'm beginning to treasure my Sundays more as it seemingly get shorter. Today, I took the effort to wake up early (getting up before 10 on a Sunday is definitely early!) to go for breakie at Macs @ Vivocity with sweetie. Letting the aroma of freshly brewed coffee drift into our nostrils whilst perusing the papers and tabloids, is definitely a perk-me-up. After the comfort food breakfast, we walked around. Surprisingly, Sweetie was in the mood to shop. I, on the other hand, was still disturbed by our finances and wasn't in the mood. However, it was mommy's bday and I had to get her a decent cake.

Here r some pics, not in full chronological order:

Unable to get a new phone just yet (I WANT MY E71!!), I can only make do with an improved phone! LOVE THE BLINGS TO THE MAX!

Along the way to Vivocity, we spotted this truck.....Polo Horses?

Did some random shopping. Sweetie was contemplating to get himself some shoes (so much for budgeting). Popped into Timberland and was pleasantly surprised by their service. The usual salesman "breathing down your neck" was inevitable but what delighted me was that he gave us two complimentary bottles of mineral water! Hmm..wonder if they've drugged the thing. Guess not! Coz we ended up not buying shoes from him, but instead crossed over to Geox and sweetie got himself a pair of sneakers! There was even a 15% discount! Ended up payin only $130. NIce. Wish I could get myself a decent pair of shoes. Just the other day, my shoes gave way (AGAIN). Wore it once only! Sad coz it's a cute pair of shoes. Perhaps I can salvage it with some glue. Shall try. Saw a pair o lovely faux snake skin heels. The height is perfect and interestingly, my feet didn't look bloated and wide in those heels! I wanted to get it badly (though I didn't see much use of it), but held back upon seeing the price -- $293! Why must lady's shoes be so damn ex! Guess I'm back to my Charles and Keith and Vincci. Sweetie obviously understood how therapeutic shopping can be. So happy over the "breathable" shoes. Yes, apparently, that's the selling point of GEOX.

I had my share of therapy, but in a much smaller scale. Saw these items at MINI TOONS and could not resist!

Adorable isn't it??! Seriously, the creator is a genius! I was totally overwhelmed by it's witty design and had to get it though it cost $12+! Well, at least it's useful. *wink*

For those of u who are still wondering what that is, it's not a giant Nissin Cup noodles....but coin bank which doubles up as a toilet roll holder!

Was intrigued by this display and went in to have a peek. The stuff there are amazingly priced! Sweetie saw a jacket that cost $294 and was yearning to buy. Insanity! There was even this room where you can pay to experience what it is like to have -40 degrees celsius winds blowing at u! It only cost $1, but no one tried. Sweetie made a rather cute comment -- he wanna buy smth in support of National Geographic so that they can continue to make good shows for him to watch! Duhhhh....

It's mummy's bday. Knowing her, she'll run amok should I forget her bday! Thus, last night, at midnite, sweetie and I went to 7-11 and got her this stylishly thin Samsung mobile. C170. cost- $80! Unbelievable right? Chio too. Comes in both jet black and scarlet red. The red is simply irrisistable! Can't believe that mom has a new phone and I had to bling my own phone to delude myself into thinking that I've got a new phone!

A cake was a must, though mom's always telling me she's not a cake person. However, imagine the exasperation on her face should I not present her with a cake! She called whilst i was shopping for a cake. Thankfully, I missed that call. She could only call me for one reason on a Sunday. And that was, to be her faithful AHMAD! She's always ever so pampered that she needs someone to fetch her home from church! For crying out loud! it's a Sunday! Give me a break! Needless to say, I was not foolish enough to chauffeur her. She ended up taking the bus home but still wanted someone to pick her up from Chomp Chomp. Too lazy to walk home.

Back to the cake spree. Saw some miniature cakes going at $18 at Swiss bake. Was tempted to buy but checked out Bakerzin and settled for that instead. Chocolate Amer was going at half price. I was diliberating between Chocolate Amer and Mango Mousse. Mom's not a big fan of chocs, thus, I settle for Mango, despite sweetie's suggestion to go on budget (asshole, after spending $130 on a pair of shoes, the least u can do is to buy mom a cake and not stinge on it!)

ooooo.........nice right? The exquisite taste and unbelievably smooth texture rendered me helpless in this gastronomical heaven. Ok, seriously, the cake wasn't that great at all! The mousse was sour and not to my liking. Thankfully, mommy liked it. Dad as usual was a spoil sport and did not try or even take pictures with us. :-(...The moment we went home, he cooped himself in the room, sewing his shirt! Totally ignoring me! Nagged him, but he was obviously oblivious to my feelings. Somehow, I feel neglected each time I visit him. He is a man of few words but still, he should seriously engage in more small talks with me and sweetie!

Mummy was really happy. She was initially sore coz since this morning, I did not even wish her. Thinking that her only daughter had forgotten her bday, she got engulfed in an overwhelming feeling of distraught and not to mention, became a little pyscho. She actually demanded a new phone from me over lunch! Was a little pissed over her attitude. It's like I owe her the world.

There. Happy? A simple phone for a simple person.

Sweetie did good today. Patiently teaching my mom how to use the phone. Trust me, that requires loads of patience! I took months to teach her how to use her old phone! Though I must say, it was all worthwhile to see how happy she is.

After all the excitement, it was then time for sweetie to go for his usual game of soccer. Today was a match agst the church team..hmm wonder if they'd bring on 30 ppl to the field again!haha what a sight! At home, i entertained the thought of sleeping, but felt a little guilty that I had not accomplish more..Thus, I did a little packing (Oh did I mentioned? I put aside 3 big bags of clothes yesterday! Spruced up my wardrobe again..there's much more to put aside, but that will just have to wait!). Had a deep craving for a good read, thus after doing my chores, I plopped onto bed with the latest tabloids!haha...Then a sudden relaxation washed over me. The effect of the bed was almost immediate. Within half an hour, I was off to dreamland! Guilty as I am, it was undeniably a good treat. Made up for lost time by doing some marking whilst watching news of Swine Flu (scary and pray that all will be over soon). Books were accumulating and screaming for me to do something about them. After clearing more than half of the pile, I took a break and washed a lame show -- STEP BROTHERS with sweetie. didn't quite understand why he found it so hilarious. The lame jokes just didn't connect with me. N the part when the guy took out his nuts and rub it on the drums certainly adds to its lamity. It's not supposed to be RA, so what's with that scene! Geez.

Now, sitting in the comfort of my air-conditioned room, enjoying the cool breeze emitting from the vents, I can't help thinking -- Where did the wkend go?

Happiness is growth

It's one of those late night musings -- I'm no longer sur eif I have a lot ot say/ a lot to tell, but I realised that my previous post was a little disturbing and needed some reconciliation. After 3 days of escape, I was ready to face the music. Someone had to play the Devil's Advocate and that person was ME. We had a good talk and spat it out. It felt good. The fundamentals are strong (needless to say after more than 10 years!), but the ideals and frequency at times can be warped. Especially so, when I'm a planner and he's not. I'm someone who if I can't see $6k (just a random number we conjured during our 'discussion), I'll freak out. He's someone who claims he can get $6k anytime (through cashlines and parents perhaps?) When will this viscious cycle end, I asked him. There's simply no security in our future and it seems that I'm the one working my arse out for the sake of my own insecurity. Sad to say, everything around us revolve around money and without it, we'd probably can't do much planning. Eventually, he gave in to my concerns. Whether or not he truly understood where I was coming from doesn't matter anymore coz he just wanted life to go on as usual and he wanted me to be happy. For me, he'd do anything.

Happiness is neither virtue or pleasure but simply growth. We are happy that we are growing day by day. In the past, he'd probably fling the chair and curse and swear, but now, he'd be the one wanting to talk. He used to be hopelessly inarticulate but is improving as we move along. As for me, learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace. That should be my motto since his rationale is "whats the use of worrying? It's never worthwhile. Wish i can be so happy-go-lucky. Happiness is man's greatest aim in life. Tranquility and rationality are hte cornerstones of happiness. We must try to give each other support and wisdom and make the journey ahead a happier one.