Me time, rest time, all the time

I've been ill for the longest time.  4 weeks now to be exact! Never have i been so ill before. It started with Big K having the fever,  the running nose and cough. Waking up to her nightly cries put my body in toll. During this period, the hubs was not around. How convenient yet again. Then the mil fell ill, followed by the hubs and now finally the boy and i caved in. My nose has been drippy and I've been nasal. The boy's nose has also been running and he's been having phlegmy coughs which rendered his naps n sleeps shitty! At times he was inconsolable.  Who was I kidding? 100% of the time his mood was terrible due to the immense amount of phlegm which came from from nowhere. Must be because I planted too many kisses on his cheeks! No amount of hugs,  rocks,  kisses or latching could calm him down. I can totally empathise.  I'm in such a foul mood too that every little thing can ignite the fire. Eg. Just the other day,  2 acquaintances kept texting me saying i need a maid. Geez guys, u r rich,  what do you know? ! Granted my rationale for not having one is coz i feel we r really coping alright. The hub n i do our parts with regards to chores and i love cooking (though that's seriously though with two in tow) so what else is there for a maid to do? I certainly don't throw my motherly duties to her! I would also certainly not leave educating and story tellings to her and risk the kid having a weird accent. But ok,  it does boil down to finances which i m reluctant to declare. It's not quite that we can't afford but things are already extremely tight. Please don't be asking me to control my shopping sprees just for a maid.  And plus,  i have major trust issues with all the rampant crazy maid stories i hear.  No thanks to having a stranger live with me too. I'll totally go bongkus. So yeah, imagine I've to explain these reasons to people each time they kindly offered their suggestions. 

My body is aching just when i thought I'm recovering. I managed to get Small K to sleep but only to battle with Big K and finally when we all doze off to lala land, no.2 gets choked on his pheglm and the mambo starts all over again.  I'm knackered.  Seriously dying from exhaustion.  Can someone please give me an MC? help is scarce unfortunately. I'm still left to my own devices every morning till 2pm before i head off to work;  and even though mom is around to help on Mondays, she's really more of a trouble than help.  I'm always having to clean up her act after she leaves!  Be it diapers randomly thrown out or wet clothes dripping in my bathroom.  I seriously don't need this at the end of a long day. Where's the hub, you might ask?  Well,  after 3 weeks of being away,  he's finally home!  But he is constantly on standby which gives me the jitters and is due for a long haul again in early October. (this is true only at the point of publication). 

A mother's job is never done and because of this spate of virus, it's making me snap more often at Big K. As it is,  I'm already extremely guilty for not spending enough time with her and following up closely on homeschooling.  These days i just pick whatever's available and shove it to her, hoping i can get some peace for a mere 10minutes. I feel like I'm not doing much at the end of the day. I'd like to pen down my thoughts on my blog, but I would crash halfway after typing the first sentence or two. I would love to go on date nights with the hubs when he is in town, but it's either we are both held up at work or we had to rush back to pick the kids before the MIL goes berserk. I'd like to pack the house a little better and make it more like those featured on Apartment Therapy, but the thought of it being messed up the very next moment holds me back. In fact, the house is in such a mess, it's depressing. Toys strewned all over despite me teaching Big K how to put things in the bucket or at the very least shove everything to one side so that there's a wee bit of walking space. The hub unfortunately doesn't seem to care much. Stuff can be lying all over the place and he can be walking over them the entire day without picking 'em up. Issit just me being OCD and anal about tidiness? 

I'd like to clear more of my wardrobe and perhaps exchange more of them for money or simply donate to charity, but I can't. No time and the running nose was probably triggered by the fact that I was packing one night and all the dust got to me the second day. I would like to spring clean my computer which is oh-so-slow. In fact, i've done so much on the computer that it signaled to me that it was out of space the other day. Disk full, it says. Great. Just what I needed. I really need to get myself a new hard disk but even then, that is being held back coz I don't have the luxury of time to even go to the malls to get one! Trash everything you say? hmmm I'm quite a hoarder even on the technological front. I'm not sure about you but for me to hit on delete button for photos of my kids even though they are already on my hard disk n other computer and some on my phone, I simply can't do it! what if things crash on me suddenly and everything disappears? I needed more backup! I would like to cook more and experiment with more recipes like before, but these days, simple dishes are the way to go. Thankfully, the lil one is appreciating it. She just told me she likes mama's food the other day. I would like to take a day off and just busk in the sun or sit by the cafe with a good book, or go for a well deserved massage, but I can't. Well, i did try. Last Monday when Empress Dowager was around, i dashed out to do my grocery shopping. Walked by my favourite shop that says "back massage, 20minutes, $18". "I could do that", I thought. So, throwing all caution to the wind (yes, caution because I am very pressed for time), I went ahead. 10minutes into the massage, Dad called. Empress Dowager was panicking as Small K was screaming his head off and she thought i had forgotten to feed him! so yup, I had to cut things a little short and rush home. Nope, it wasn't that I was some irresponsible mother who forgot to feed the kid. Empress Dowager just couldn't handle two kids at a time. Note: half the time, Big K was entertained by my dad. I would like craft more and create beautiful things, but no beautiful thing can withstand the test of time and more importantly stand out in this messy house. I would like to finish a book within a day or two instead of having to read a page here or there during pockets of time. I don't even remember what I've read 5 minutes ago! I would like to be on top of things when it comes to homeschooling the lil bub. No doubt she goes to half day school, but i honestly think that I can do a better job and school is just a place for her to socialise whilst I head out to work. I would like to make new friends and attend events, but where can I find the time? It's always during working hours. I would like to keep up with old friends, but even having a conversation via watsapp isn't all that easy. I would like to expand Rhapnroll, but, ok i'm lazy. I'll be totally engrossed and that's not good. I can go on forever and that's just me. Poking my nose in every darn thing and seemingly very capable but honestly, I don't feel very smart as everything seems half achieved. The feeling is consuming me. Even blogging is taking a backseat. The amount of drafts I've amassed is crazy. 

3, close to 4months have passed and I think I've done a pretty darn good job at coping. 2 months into being a mother of 2 and I was off to work again. We've found our rhythm and this is how things look like on a typical day:

730am: Big K screams herself awake. I seriously don't get it. I am next to her and yet, she throws such a fit.
745am: Make milk for Big K after calming her down.
8am: Small K wakes up but I leave him to entertain himself in the crib
815am: Small K starts getting bored and wails for attention. Boob time.
830-915am: washing up (big K can be awfully slow when it comes to brushing her teeth. For that matter, she's always in slow mode) + breakfast time
930am: bathe Small K and play with him a bit whilst Big K has her free play
10am: Make Small K nap
1030am: Bathe Big K and start cooking lunch + pray that Small K doesn't wake up + entertain Big K with some activity. Yes, multitasking! can't help it as Big K will hanker me for an activity. 
1115am - noon: take lunch with Big K and pray that small K doesn't wake up that soon.
Often by now, Small K may wake up in fright and I'll have to calm him down again.
1230: make Big K nap and that involves carrying her and walking round the house like a lunatic. Yup, a bad habit coz everyone else was doing that since Day one. she will sleep on her own if she's with me, but that will probably take at least an hour. I don't have time for that hence i risk breaking my back and rock her to sleep.
1pm: Small K's boob time
115/ 130pm: Big K wakes up, has her milk and gets ready for school
130-145pm: sends Small K over to the MIL's place which is just within walking distance but bringing two kids along, plus the bottles of expressed breastmilk and my bags + Big K's bags. Oh man, it's really a test of strength and it's a juggling act at times.
215pm: arrival at school 
230pm: finally heading off to work. 
9pm: Off work. zoom home like an F1 driver especially if the hubs isn't in town. Hate that their sleep schedule gets screwed up. They need to be wound down by 830pm. Takes me an hour to get them to sleep. 
10+pm: dinner time and washing of bottles etc. That is provided I don't fall asleep with Big K. 
11pm: shower and expression of milk
midnight - I drift off to sleep: work/ Facebook
4/5am: expression of milk; sometimes I need to wake up twice for the same reason but often I'll snooze and wake up only when the cookies are near explosion.

That's how I deal with things every single day. It's rendering me breathless. No doubt very rewarding but I honestly wonder sometimes if I should just ease things a little n be a SAHM. Not saying that an SAHM is all easy job but at least I don't have to run things on a schedule and perhaps might feel a little happier. But the hubs probably will be vehemently against the idea. Weekends are a tad better as things don't really have to run on such strict schedule, but still, i need my sleep! I can't run on a million whys and my boobs, oh my dear cookies...they are on demand. To be honest, the boy is really good but the two take turns. Once I settled no.1, no.2 will ask for something. Sigh...i know it's a common complaint that 24hours isn't enough, but this is getting way ridiculous! This post took me 2 weeks to complete and now I'm well again however i simply can't be bothered to correct my tenses  for the first part of the entry. so, Pardon me!

Small K's Full Month Bash

WHAT?? Did you say that ma boy is already 3months old and I've yet to publish the post about his full month bash?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This is really efficiency at its peak! Time flies doubly fast with two in tow! Things are really intense on the forefront but I can't say the same on the blogging scene. I have tons of drafts hibernating!

Ok, throwback.......

We had a bash for the boy at the National Service Resorts Country Club 1.5mths after his birth. Yeah, I know, it was suppose to be a full month party but unfortunately, the man of the house is a bit of a procrastinator hence he was a tad late in booking the place. It was the school holiday period so one should really plan way in advance. However, it was tough to book way in advance coz we really didn't know when Small K will make his appearance to this world. Anywayz, fast forward, I managed to settle the decorations before i gave birth. Yes, i was that excited. Afterall, this might just be the last time I'm organising a full month party. Here's sharing some of the proud highlights of the party:

Printed these lovely bunters out and painstakingly cut and threaded them. Ok, it wasn't that tough actually. 

 

 The cupcake stand (above) and nautical spirals (below) were gotten a month before I popped. All from Oriental Trading. A much talked about centrepiece. 

  

Which party would be complete without a balloon?  Helium balloon sculptures are in vogue these days but i wasn't gonna spend good money on those.  That said, it is a little strange without balloons at a kids party so i sourced for the cheapest! The above nautical balloon is from www.partywholesale.com. was so thankful it's just round the corner from our place and we could self collect to save some dollars. Several places were charging $20-30 per delivery and I was so reluctant to top up for that considering that Singapore's such a small country!

Cupcake toppers made once again,  by yours truly :) compared:to what i did for Big K on terms of diys (which you can see here), this is NOTHING!

 

The yummilicious cupcakes were from Lynda Ann's. An unpretentious little bakery situated at Bedok North. (PS: LOVE LOVE LOVE their rainbow cake by the way)

 

The gifts for relatives were from Sweetest moments as they were the most value for money and had all the traditional stuff. Giving to relatives is a a tricky thing. As much as I love those new-style mochi or cupcake filled packages, the oldies wouldn't fancy such stuff. They would rather the red eggs, the glutinous rice and the ang gu kway. I did, however, got the thank you card specially designed, in sync with the theme. That, at least, gives it a modern twist.Printing of the card was complimentary.

Buffet from Smiling Orchid. Unlike the first time with Big K, we did two rounds of buffet this time. Reason being, the crowd was mightier. You see, during Big K's time, the MIL claimed that it isn't the family's tradition to hold such fancy parties hence there was no need to invite the extended family. (PS: she however invited her own siblings!) My FIL has a hoard of siblings. 7 i think, plus the hubby's cousins and all, it's really quite a kampong. I took her word for it, only to be surprised that all the cousins were throwing such parties thereafter! Imagine my embarrassment! Big K was afterall, the first grandchild of the family! So this time round, I didn't bother and just decided to invite the entire village...Small K is, afterall, the first grandSON of the family and by far the only male descendant of the entire clan of the generation. It doesn't look like we are getting any other males at the rate the rest are going ie either not getting married or not interested in having kids. So yeah, the FIL was delighted and started calling and sms-ing his siblings. It's not that I'm favouring boys over girls but I know, that the FIL is afterall a very traditional man.

So I catered high tea for an estimated crowd size of 60. But guess what? part of the kampong was probably misinformed and came with empty tummies, hence by 4pm (buffet started at 3pm), more than half the food was GONE! even drinks weren't enough! Can't blame me as there were groups of unexpected guests. You know, the friend of mom's...the aunty's children's children whom you have not seen in years and didn't even know they got married! Yup, all those were stuff I didn't anticipate. I should have, given that my first experience with the in laws wasn't too successful either. They couldn't give me numbers and it would be rude of me if I asked for a rsvp.  I did my own estimates, discussed with the hubs and we came up with the number which we thought was close. I guess not. Could tell that the MIL was a tad embarrassed by the situation as she asked if she could take the cupcakes from the fridge and serve it to her friends. Those cupcakes were actually reserved for friends and kids who were coming later as I thought sweets weren't quite the old folk's cup of tea. By then, the whole clan knew that things weren't enough and when I was giving out the cake packages, they even told me to keep it for my friends in case I had not enough!! EMBARRASSING right? I had to explain that those were specially ordered for them and i had ordered more than enough. 

We had round two for friends at 630pm. Back to back and i was almost flat! The turnout wasn't quite as overwhelming as some we're caught up with work,  overseas or have taken ill. But i had quite a good catch up with some old friends and was really glad they came to share our joy.

 My star of the day!

The boy was very coorporative. Cried only when he needed his feeds or when he was lonely. I couldn't say the same for the girl. She was a little emo that day. Wasn't her usual chirpy self. Instead, she refused to interact with the crowd, some of whom she was familiar with and only stuck with the grandpa and daddy, out by the garden. This could be due to the fact that she didn't take her nap earlier that day, or simply a case of jealousy. To date, she's sometimes still making things difficult for me when I'm attending to the little brother, especially when it's feeding time. She'll demand for her milk as well when she actually had hers half an hour ago!

She was all smiles whilst outdoors playing sand with the Daddy. Because of that, I was all alone entertaining the guests. I was like a headless bee flying around trying to handle 101 things. It was a madhouse especially when the guests left and I had to grab the gifts for them! I only have but one pair of hands right? Help unfortunately was scarce. 

A picture with the cousins! Can't tell we r years apart right?  Not sure if i should feel old or young when standing next to them.  Two r still students while I'm already a mother of two.

The boy woke up bright and cherry. He did pretty good in an unfamiliar environment.  Slept quite well,  waking up only once. Love his smiles every morning!

Although I was terribly tired by the end of it all, I was really happy that I managed to put together some memorable times. Only regret was I didn't get enough photos taken. Due to budget constraints, I could only get the cousin to take some shots with her DSLR. Not all the guests were involved as I had to bring her round and prompt her to take shots else it'd be pretty weird for her as well. N clearly I wasn't too free to do so. 

We were very blessed this round to be showered with a whole lot of ang baos and gifts. We would like to thank all our friends and relatives for the wonderful gifts and of course, to create this wonderful memory with us!