How to host an epic birthday party, the new normal way

Small K turned 6 this May and it coincided with Singapore's Circuit Breaker, in line with containing the whole Covid situation. 2 months prior to the circuit breaker, I was still planning on which cake to get him and had even ordered in little gifts for his friends. But ALAS! when the news came, my heart sank to the pits of my stomach. How is my little boy going to get an epic party? If you know me long enough, you know that I will only throw big parties during crucial years like 1st month as well as 6years old. Six is significant as it marks the end of his preschool, the end of those chubby cheeks, and the start of a new journey. I had to make it memorable. His older sister had the most epic DIY Alice in Wonderland party 2.5 years ago, so how can I not do likewise for my little boy? Crestfallen, my heart broke. Distressing news came in shortly that even home bakers and confectionaries had to stay low. WHAT? NO CAKES? This was bad. I quickly packed my feelings and told myself that perhaps I could bake him a cake. I'm no baker and to be honest., I suck at it in fact. The only cake I could probably bake was a no-bake cheesecake. However, guess what? Cream cheese is a commodity these days and I could not find any!

Not willing to be defeated by the situation, I was determined still to make things as grand as they could. So here's how we hosted our new normal birthday party at home!

THE ONLINE ZOOM PARTY

Things aren't compromised. The highlight for his party was a 30minutes online magic show by Singapore's favourite magician, Mr Bottles! Imagined Small K's joy when I shared the news with him. He was feeling like bubbles in soda water. A magic show online was exactly what I needed to tame 30 children. This was such a perfect plan. I mean how else was I able to mute all 30 chatterboxes erm, I mean adorable children? I certainly can't handle a crowd of 30 or more should this had been an offsite party. Imagine rambunctious shrieks of 30 children running amok at a party! I don't think I can handle that well. Nothing would engage children other than a good magic show. It was pure genius for Mr Bottles to come up with this alternative. And engage was exactly what he did for the full 30 minutes. Laughter reverberated through my walls even though his friends were all seated comfortably in their homes. Fascinated, the little ones were all transfixed, gazing at the sight that lay before them. They stared in wide-eyed wonder each time Mr Bottles whipped up a new trick. Small K was particularly enthralled by Mr Bottle's little pet bird and the song was etched in his mind till today.  All of us were thrilled to bits by the world of magic. A quiet joy filled my heart as I saw how the kids squealed in delight. That twinkle in Small K's eyes was something I would not forget. The boy was so keyed up about the magic show that he refused to sleep unless I replayed the whole party for him. Nice that ZOOM has a record function and all was videoed down for FREE! I needn't get a videographer or a photographer for the event!

Beaming from ear to ear

Bursting out into laughter every other second

Some of his little friends. So happy to be able to get everyone online! No headaches, no limits!

Small K has been singing "I am a bird" every single day for a week after his birthday!

Love it that Mr Bottle's tricks aren't the usual run in the mill, pull a bunny out of the hat kind of tricks.

Got him our favourite Oreo Cheescake from @catandthefiddle. So happy that the ban on confectionaries was lifted shortly before our big day!

Singing song and cutting the birthday cake with all his little friends. Memorable.

THE DECO & GAMES

The boy decided on the theme -- PJ mask. Ok, that's easy! Much more stuff available compared to what the Big sister had wanted 2.5years ago. Being stuck at home all day meant that I had more to manage and do. Cooking and chores were the least to say. I had to work from home and yet find time to prepare his props. Fortunately, the nature of my work allowed me to multitask a bit and I was snipping away his props as I conducted my work via ZOOM. I knew I had to create a nice backdrop for him, as that was going to be our virtual backdrop. He wasn't gonna have any standees or a dessert table like his sister and that ate me up so much. 

I made did a few game stations with the intent of giving him the entire package as well as sneaking in a bit of learning fun. Learn through play is after all one of my mottos when it comes to teaching kids. He was spoilt for choice and was eager to do all the stations in a day. However, we ran out of time and had to split the activities over two days. 

crack the code

punch a prize and before you get a prize, you'll have to do something. *evil grin*

Told him to spell my name backwards and he wrote the word 'MOM' in this fashion! Hilarious

 Quivering with excitement, he did a "Punch a prize" game to earn his birthday prizes. Evil mommy here had to include some literacy tasks before he could get that prize! But, there were no complaints, the kids were simply fired up.

Their senses were probably awakened the next day when I announced that they could create Sticky Splat which was what we would know as SLIME. Their faces flushed with such aura of joy. It made me feel that all the late nights were worthit. 

Papa bear also played his part. I made him captain of our obstacle course. I mean afterall, we are talking about the PJ mask who would go into the night and save the day right? We also did a small treasure hunt. Exhilarated, the kids dashed all over the house in search of the clues. 

So happy after finding all the clues!

He was learning about nouns and adjectives, so I thought, why not infuse it into our game? *evil grin again*

To qualify as a night ninja, you need to know how to decode. So a "crack the code" game it shall be.

THE GIFTS

I had planned to order in his favourite dish for that day -- CRABS. But things had to be shelved as we were blessed with so much food that day! From more than a dozen donuts & a truckload of curry puffs from a lovely online friend, to a special delivery from Aunty Nat which covered our dinner. We were so touched, no words could express our thanks. Desserts coming from Aunty May and Aunty Angie also put smiles to the birthday boy's face. Pure happiness was welling up within him. He felt like a superstar that day. Not to mention all the gifts which came, including a nicely timed one from Aunty Ashlyn which he proclaimed to be epic. He commented, "Why is everyone sending me food today? is it because they know I like to eat and would like me to be fat fat?" Yes baby. That and because we are so blessed and you are so loved. 

Aunty Celine and Aunty Cindy also surprised us with not one but two cakes. So thoughtful of them to keep Big K in mind. In addition, they got me covered for breakfast the next day as well! I was so filled with gratitude, I could cry! While having our weekly Circuit Breaker @celine_tan_ x @deeedeedee13 x @themishmashmess Zoom workshop later that day, the duo even surprised Small K with a birthday song (complete with Ukulele accompaniment) and got in cakes for everyone! The children were cramming forkfuls of adorable cakes from @littlehouseofdreams into their insatiable mouths even before they swallowed the previous bite. All these over ZOOM! How cool and memorable is that?

POST PARTY BIRTHDAY DINNER

One of Small K's favourite food is Crabs. This boy enjoys seafood as much as his mother. I simply had to gift him a claw or two. That was in fact what my parents did each year for my birthday when I was younger. We often went to the club and feasted on my favourite Sri Lanka chilli crab. With the circuit breaker, I was initially bummed that we could not have the luxury of dining out at our favourite joint. But a quick search and I found 8crabs! Freshly cooked Sri Lankan crab delivered to me in an hour! They are the only company in Singapore using grade AAA premium Sri Lankan sourced wild crabs. This is as opposed to most restaurants which farm their crabs. Most breed their crabs in confined space and this caused the crabs to be stressed. When stressed, they produce ammonia, which is a sign of decomposition of seafood! As a result, most restaurants use highly fragrant gravies to cover up the ammonia smell. 

This wasn't even the largest size available and look how huge it is!

I am very particular about the freshness of my seafood and I must say that I found no such ammonia smell in the crabs from 8crabs. To ensure freshness, their crabs are caught, flown, prepared and delivered to you within 12 hours. Usually, I would go for chilli crabs because that's usually the safest bet, but I decided to give the salted egg a go. No regrets! The gravy was so sumptuous, it had us licking clean our plates! In all honestly, I am not a huge fan of salted egg stuff. I find them a tad overpowering in most cases. But, this dish proved otherwise. Not a single drop of the gravy was left! We drank them all! Even Big K who is not a fan of seafood, was asking for a bite. The delivery was also commendable. I had requested for our food to be delivered between 7-8pm. And at 715pm, I dropped them a text, half expecting them not to reply promptly. Within 5minutes, a reply came, informing that our delivery was picked up and on the way! They apparently have a one driver to an order policy across their 12 kitchens island-wide so that they can uphold their promise of One Hour Crab Delivery. No wonder the food arrived warm and not soggy! This is totally life-changing! To be able to enjoy our crabs in the comfort of our homes! No more need for looking unglam whilst eating those crustaceans at a restaurant. I'm pretty sure this wouldn't be the last time I order in seafood!

So just like that, my little boy turned 6. I'm really quite emotional over it. 6 is an age when they turn into a big boy overnight. Would I still be able to sing silly songs with you? Or cuddle up with you each night? Would you still be a sweetheart and kiss mama every morning when I am still in bed? Oh somebody please pass me the tissue! It feels even more emotional this round compared to when Big K turned six. On to the next stage of adventure my dear boy. 

Happy 6th Birthday! May you be 快快乐乐 each and every day, just like how we named you.

How CoolSculpting gave me a bikini bod!

At the beginning of treatment with Halley Body Slimming Clinic, I set my aim at achieving a bikini body! If you haven't read it yet, here's the link. Yes, I envisioned myself gravitating towards the crash of waves, prancing confidently like a frisky mare in my bikini. Splashing in the cool waters, being part of the backdrop for the canoes that were plying up and down. 

I thought it wasn't possible and that I could only sit by the shores in my oversized tee and watch the waters ebb away rhythmically as the tide came in. But when I met Dr. Terence Tan from Halley Body Slimming, he gave me confidence that he was able to shape me up! He told me that statistically, we can freeze away up to 25% of fats due to CoolSculpting. He confidently assured me that I was able to see the curves after CoolSculpting. In case you are new to this, CoolSculpting is a non-invasive, non-surgical, no downtime fat reduction. It is the only US FDA-approved fat freezing treatment that uses the concept of cryolipolysis to freeze and destroy unwanted fat cells. Afterwhich, the fats will be discharged from the body naturally. 

Dr. Terence Tan sure did not lie! After a mere 6 months, my body fat did indeed go down! I commenced my first treatment in September and during the most recent visit in March, the below was my result

My waist circumference went down from 84.7cm to 77cm! It was actually 74.5cm during my last visit in November 2019 but it was either due to human error (likely) or that I had been eating too much during Chinese New Year hence the slight increase. Nonetheless, I can officially announce that I have dropped a size! My weight did not fluctuate too much. There was a loss of approximately 2kg which wasn't too significant. Prior to all these, I went on an epic trip to America and Canada in December and if you had seen how I had feasted over on my Instagram account, you would have been disgusted! Think American portions! So yes, all the loss is due to CoolSculpting! 

If you need more convincing, here are my before and after shots

I literally sang my lungs out (at home of course lest others think I'm looney) when I saw the images! I was jubilant! It was as if sunshine followed me everywhere! 

How many times have you looked at magazines and envied the model's figure? I'm definitely one of them. It's no crime to want to be slimmer. I don't want to be skinny because it will render me haggard. If you lose too much fats, naturally your skin will sag. That's not a tradeoff I'm not willing to sacrifice. Plus CoolSculpting is great as it allows you to choose where you'd like to freeze your fats! It isn't only targeted at your tummy. It can be your arm or even your double chin which you may freeze! I want to be svelte! I want my clothes to fit better. I want to be able to swim with my kids in my bikini without feeling self-conscious. And now I can! Look at the photos below and see my transformation.

At a recent wedding on 14 March 2020.

Another wedding attended on 7 Dec 2019

The picture on the left was taken in 2019 June. I was so conscious, I had to throw over a dress. In the picture on the right which was taken on 15 March, you can see that my abs are beginning to show!

As you can see, clothes fit me nicely now. I feel great carrying them off well. In fact, I have been getting a lot of great compliments for looking more shapely and slim. I went one size down too! I am so motivated to go on a shopping spree! Oh, and of course, I am going to the beach in my bikini! A great option amidst the Covid-19 situation! Sun, Sand, and picnic mat, here I come!

Halley Body Slimming Clinic

Address

277 Orchard Road, #03-16 orchardgateway, Singapore 238858

Tel: 62468806

Email: askhalleybody@halley.com.sg

www.halleybodyslimmingclinic.com.sg

facebook.com/halleybodyslimmingclinic

instagram.com/halley.body.slimming.clinic 

halleybodyvideos.halley.com.sg

Disclaimer: All photos are property of www.themishmashmess.blogspot. Please seek permission before reposting and give due credit when doing so. All opinions expressed are entirely my own and written according to my experience in using the products/ services. 

Review: Plushopedic Memory Fluff Pillow by SLEEPWIZ

Many people think that the mattress is the most important factor in getting good quality sleep. Well, it is. However, when it comes to sleep quality, the right pillow is just as important as your mattress.

I haven't been sleeping all that well ever since I got discharged. Things got slightly worse when I had to be confined to bed as much as possible. I couldn't do much but lay down. I didn't exactly lie flat and this gave me really bad headaches. The next few nights were intense due to the headaches and body aches. Then I realised! My pillow! I was using the higher and firmer ones which I had! You see, I have a total of 4 pillows on my bed. Two were my older ones while 2 new ones were gifted by the good people at SLEEPWIZ. I am a regular user of high and firm pillows. It didn't really occur to me that it was probably the cause of my neck aches and headaches. I didn't really bother whether my spine was going to be misaligned whilst using those pillows. I only wanted to sleep. But unknown to me, the misalignment was creeping on me. I have been having stiff necks and I simply attributed them to stress. Stress is inherent of course, but we can certainly relieve it a little with the right pillow. So back to my story about having massive headaches in the last couple of days whilst in bed. Realisation struck that I had the two pillows from SLEEPWIZ. I immediately switched to them and the next day, my headache was alleviated. Of course, you may say that it could be because I was less stressed or that the headaches naturally would go away. Well, I waited for three days and it didn't seem to diminish. I guess only time can tell if the pillow is the true reason behind it. But I believe it is a strong contributing factor.

Having the right pillow plays an important role in supporting our neck, shoulders, head, and spine. If your and neck and shoulders don't get sufficient support, it will put your spine and body out of alignment, leading to strain and discomfort. When used correctly, pillows will alleviate or prevent common forms of back and neck pain. We spend a lot of time with our pillows. I mean we do need at least 8 hours of sleep right? (Ok, probably I need less in my case). So imagine 8 hours on a pillow that is not right for you! The damage could be detrimental in the long run. 

There are several types of pillows in the market. Honestly, it confuses me when I go pillow shopping. They include:

- Feather pillows

- Down pillows

- Memory foam pillows

- Microbead pillows

- Buckwheat pillows

So which is the best pillow? 

According to Dr. Alissia Zenhausern, NMD physician at NMD Wellness of Scottsdale, as far as the best pillows for neck pain are concerned, he suggests "a more rounded pillow to help support the natural curvature of your spine," as well as pillows made of memory foam or feathers! There you have it! Memory foam! words from the expert adapted from an article from FORBES.

So there you go! The best type of pillow is made of memory foam. And that was exactly what SLEEPWIZ sent me! Their Plushopedic™ Memory Fluff Pillow is filled with an interlocking cross-cut memory fluff that conforms to your neck and shoulders, creating a buoyant and supportive experience cradling your head! Unlike conventional memory foam or classic pillows, the Plushopedic™ Memory Fluff Pillow feels soft and plush, just like a giant marshmallow as it absorbs your head like those pillows in the luxurious hotels! Moreover, the fillings can be easily shifted around by hand (in contrast to the traditional fixed memory foam), enabling you to fluff and re-fluff your pillows into your favourite shape, perfectly fitting your sleeping posture!

In all honesty, when it first came to me, it was all rolled up and flat. 

I was skeptical.

I thought to myself, how good can this flat thing be? I am used to high, rigid pillows. I opened it up and it fluffed up! It was still considerably flatter than my existing pillows and I was still not quite convinced. However, it was love at first sight for the hubby who has always loved his pillows a little lower. He can't comprehend me. When I think of memory foam pillows, the first thing which struck my mind was that it would be contoured, hard and ergonomic.

This Plushopedic™ Memory Fluff Pillow is nothing like that. It's fluffy! I decided to give it a try. I had a feel of its memory foam and it was little foam cubes packed in the pillow. really unlike the traditional ones which feel like it is one big piece of foam. The durable memory fluff is said to maintain volume and support for years and years, unlike the traditional fiber fillings. This pillow contains special memory fluff fillings which sink more in the center where your head rests, while remaining comfortably supportive under your neck where you need it. Some say that memory foam retains heat hence lead to discomfort. But I experienced none of that with Plushopedic™ Memory Fluff Pillow. Mind you, I was doing a mini confinement where I didn't have the fan blown at me. Can you imagine how terrible if the pillow were to be a heated one? Super -breathable Coolmax pillow protector allows airflow throughout the pillow, keeping you cool and fast asleep throughout the night. It is made with good ventilation and does not have that chemical smell which is emitted by products when they are brand new. 

While I still miss my rigid pillow, I do not want to endure the stiff necks that come along with it. I believe that in the long run, the Plushopedic™ Memory Fluff Pillow will do good for my spine. If you spend 7-8 hours a night in bed, that would be approximately more than 2500 hours a year! Hence having the right pillow is an investment! The husband's review of the pillow, needless to say, was good. He sleeps on a mattress on the floor at times (poor guy) and needs a soft pillow. This, to him, was a good in-between. Not too soft and neither was it too hard. As for me, I have been using it for close to a month and I haven't looked back. My headaches seemed to be kept at bay too. 

If you'd like to sleep well with SLEEPWIZ, hop over to https://pillows.sg/ to give it a try today! Psst, they are having a very good discount (50%!!!!) and free shipping within Singapore right now!

Disclaimer: All photos are property of www.themishmashmess.blogspot. Please seek permission before reposting and give due credit when doing so. We were given 2 pillows for the purpose of this review. All opinions expressed are entirely my own and written according to my experience in using the products.

I am broken

From time to time, we get lemons thrown at us. Growing up, I had a good share of curveballs thrown at me. I survived them. It has made me who i am. A stronger person. But nothing prepared me for what  happened over the last few months. Nothing prepared me for today’s episode. 

So what happened? Here’s the scoop. I had an early miscarriage. 

Yes, some of you, like my mom, will start nagging, pointing fingers that i over exerted myself. That’s true. I did. There's no denial. But before you carry on, i suppose you have to be in one’s shoes to totally understand. All that i did are mandatory. I don’t suppose i could have abandoned my very sick mother? Or not to be present on behalf of my dad when gramps passed away? And most certainly, for the kids, i simply have no one else to outsource. I was so frustrated and felt like no one understood. I am pretty sure that most of us are just as stretched. Except that some have extra help from the village or a helper. I am no different,  just no helper and probably lament more. The only helper i have is my manservant aka the husband, who helps around. But if you know him, he is the most practical person around and plus, his travel schedules are sometimes worse than a pilot’s.

It was an unexpected pregnancy. I wasn’t even aware.  Because i had Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (pcos), having irregular menses was part of the deal. I didn't suspect anything and with Xmas and Chinese New year hostings, there were inevitably booze and seafood. Yes, i would have been very conscious if I had known. I am a staunch believer of TCM. Plus all the immense spring cleaning. It is so hard to reconcile my feelings of guilt right now. 

On 31 Jan 2020, i thought to myself, let’s buy a homekit and test for pregnancy because I was late. 3 weeks late in fact. I had butterflies in my stomach. It turned out positive. I showed the husband and we were in disbelief. Stunned like vegetables were the right description. But we quickly regained our composure and accepted this joy. The kids were wondering what’s going on. So papa told them,”You are gonna have a mei mei or didi!” The kids, particularly Small K was excited and asked where issit? Big K as usual took a bit of time to warm up to the news. You see, she isn’t the easily excited kind. Cool as a cucumber. Especially when it involves having another one to steal her parents’ love. But she soon said she wanted a mei mei. I was having the jitters and honestly still not quite believing my eyes. So i went to Waterloo Street and got a lot. It spoke to me loud and clear:: lot number 44 --  you will give birth to a baby girl. I texted my husband and told him i will make an appointment with the gynae.

We rejoiced coz it isn't like my body was that fertile plus i am 40! Old! While i like to think that 40 is the new 20, my body may not be in sync with that thought. I was still lamenting to my gfs on how emo i was coz Small K is going into primary so life’s gonna be boring. What am I gonna post? Then i commented to some friends about the trend that many of my girlfriends(my age) are having another baby.  I wondered why. Why break the comfort? But when i knew that something was growing in me, i felt differently. I could feel my motherly instinct sneaking in and was even excited about breastfeeding and of course teaching the little one! It felt like someone up there heard me and wanted to give me another chance to nurture another life. Everyone knows i am good at that right? But strangely, that dream was short lived. 

On Monday 3 February 2020, i called my gynae. I was having very light brown spottings then and related it to the nurse. Knowing that i had no cramps, She slotted me in for an appointment the next morning. The day progressed as usual. Work and home. I honestly didn't do anything to over exert. Just did my regular chauffeur duties, cooked and worked. However, the light brown stains became dark brown. I googled that it could be old blood and most of the time normal during the first trimester. The night progressed and I couldn't sleep. In the middle of the night, fresh blood came and it was accompanied by dull pains which i thought could be caused by flatulence. By 5am, the pains were so intense,  i had to crawl out of bed to reach out to my hubby for help. I was purging blood. I could barely walk. The scene was scary. It was akin to what you see on tv dramas when the lady has blood oozing down her legs. We however needed to settle the kids before he sent me into A&E. 

We arrived at the emergency ward at 7am. Waited for our gynae, Dr Ho, who arrived about 1h 15mins later. He scanned me and confirmed indeed there was a gestational sac in my womb. Yes! There was life! But it was low and I was bleeding rather badly so he told us to be prepared for the worse. He gave me a jab of progesterone and i took Duphaston through the night. He was to scan me again the next day. I was ordered to bed rest. I didn’t dare move. Even peeing was done on the bed pan and i absolutely salute the nurses for cleaning me up! Where do they find the courage? Kudos to them. I prayed the whole night. I was surrounded by angels and i knew being in a Catholic hospital would give me the divine intervention i needed. I was hopeful when I wasn’t cramping anymore and the bleeding minimised. I needed and told my closest girlfriends who were nothing but encouraging. They checked in on me regularly and kept me positive. I rallied for prayers. I needed some kind of hope and peace. We prayed. One even told me it was a good sign when Dr said that my tummy was soft. Coz that meant that I wasn’t contracting which was a sign of a miscarriage. 

The moment of truth came the next morning, 4 Feb 2020 at 930am when i was due to be scanned again. I kept visualising the positive and let an image of a fetus shine in my mind. The idiotically practical husband had to however, comfort me by saying what yours will be yours. Hmm. I ordered him to sit far away! I didn't need this. I really didn’t. 

The scan was done. The sac was gone. Baby, our meeting was so fleeting. 7weeks. One minute you were here and the next you were not. Whatever happened to I would give birth to a baby girl? Why is the world so cruel? To bless me with a gift and take it away within days? This has been the second miscarriage i had suffered. It is very damaging to one’s body. One needs to do a mini confinement. I love confinement coz one is treated like a queen. But such a confinement is completely different. The familiarity was tremendously painful. 

the familiarity of these bright lights.
Not a pleasant kind of familiarity this time.

At 1pm i was wheeled into the operating theatre for a procedure called D&C or dilation and curettage. Prior to that, even though i was a mess, i had to be collected and texted all my clients that I couldn’t see them for 2 weeks. I had to cancel my appointments with all my girlfriends who were looking forward to celebrating with me my birthday. Yes, it is my birthday month and this would have been the best birthday present. I had to inform my uncles that I won’t be able to represent dad for prayers to gramp this coming week. I had to let my dad know the news. Of all people, i told my folks the last. On the same day, mom was at another hospital doing her blood tests. It wasn’t that good either. Poor daddy. It’s tough being him too. The wife is sick and his only precious daughter is down too. He could only give an exasperated ,”aiyooo why like that?” I tried to be calm. For him. I tried to be strong and not cry. For him. But it was so tough. He conveyed the message to Empress Dowager. The first time when I had my miscarriage, her first few words were " Don't you dare cry!". This time she texted me, "Why are you pregnant?" Geez. Definitely not something pleasant to my ears. But that's Empress Dowager for you. Someone who doesn't mince her words. Someone who doesn't show or knows how to express compassion to her only daughter. As I lay on the operating bed, waiting for my gyane to arrive, a million thoughts ran through my mind. This was all too familiar. Dr Ho arrived. He lay his hand on my shoulder and said, "I know you are sad". A tear was already rolling in my eye and with that, the tear trickled out the edge and I drifted off to sleep under GA. So drama I know. But true. 

bird food at the hospital wasn't quite palatable but I was so happy that I was served for once, instead of serving others

Meanwhile, I had to search for a reasonably priced confinement tingkat caterer who could start off immediately. I even placed order for herbal bath packs online. Thanks to a recommendation from a kind friend who had been there for me. All these sensible things had to be done by me because i am alone. The mil will only do minimally because she isn’t quite big on this whole confinement business. In fact, one can even say that i am more aunty than she is. Secondly, her daughter is also sick and she had been staying overnight with her. So how can i trouble her? I could only rely on myself and the  husband of course. However, Mr ‘pilot’ is flying this coming Monday, though we are still hopeful that it will be postponed due to the #wuhanvirus. This is so deja vu once again. During my first miscarriage he was on flight to France and the moment he heard of the news, he took the next flight home. He was in the skies for 20 odd hours. 

I gave the husband instructions to go to a medical hall to get 生化汤 to boil for me. He did good. He boiled and sent it over to the hospital the next morning. 

I was discharged today 6.02.2020. The doctor kept me for an extra day as I was running a temperature.
Thanks to my level-headedness, I came home to a nice confinement meal from Nouriche.

This was dinner. The fish soup was tasty and the broccoli was fine. Didn't quite like the pork coz it was too porky rather than having the wine taste. The grains were very hard too. I do appreciate the fact that they have a dessert each time. Only thing, it wasn't sweet enough. Bland is good i guess?


Sent the hubs to Hock Hua Medical Hall to purchase this for showering. It is typically used for postnatal care. To dispel winds in the body. Traditionally, women aren't allowed to shower, these days, it's ok to shower with such herbs. I've also ordered some online from Laobanniang.com.sg. Lucky to be living in Singapore. The convenience is immense.

It looks black and smells eeky to some. But I like the smell of herbs, so it doesn't bother me.


These days, even chicken essence comes in different pattern. These are concentrated, easy to use, frozen chicken essence. All you need to do is to put one sachet in boiling water for 3 to 5 minutes before drinking. An old friend, upon hearing what I've gone through, sent this across immediately and insisted I drink. I will. After Wk 2. Coz it is said no eggs and chicken during the first week at least. 

After 3 days of not seeing Big and Small K, mama's finally back home. They came home with these cards for me. I was so touched, I cried again. I am not supposed to shed so much tears during this mini confinement period. But it's so hard to control. I will have to sit them down in a moment to explain to them what had happened. It's gonna be tough. So tough.

The trauma this time was really unlike the first. Besides the fact that it felt like a scene taken off a TVB drama, during my first loss, one can say things like “don’t worry, nurse yourself back to health and try again” but now at 40, people will only tell you to rest well. 

I don’t really like how 2020 is looking. 

They say i am the luckiest animal amongst the 12 zodiac this year, but why am I not feeling any luck? I haven't been a bad person all my life. I think i had been a rather good person. Not the best perhaps, not the kindest but certainly not the worst. But yet, bad things just keep rolling at me. I may be strong but this is taking too much of me. I am trying very hard to reconcile my feelings. To be at peace. I know this shall all pass and before you know it, I will be up and going again. But the pain, it will always be there.

One little student asked his grandma

"Aunty Janice is such a happy and nice person always. But why are so many sad things happening to her?"

Baby, I wished I knew. I know life has its seasons. But I'm really tired to be bombed with all these lemons. 

I am broken. I really am.