On turning one and recipe for Eggless milo tiramisu, almost

I'm no Nigella Lawson but i was mighty proud of what I've made for Small K on his first birthday which was just over last weekend. For those of you who don't know, I can't bake for nuts; I don't own any fancy baking kitchen aids; i don't know the difference between folding and mixing; i use a hand whisk and I'm secretly fantasizing that I'm a whizz and can bake pretty sweets. However, truth be told, ever since my younger days, I've never been successful at baking. They mostly turn out rock rock hard or burnt.

So it never really occurred to me that i should and would bake for da boy. However, the boy has a mild allergy towards eggs and eggless cakes cost an arm and a leg! Hence i was determined to unleash this "talent" of mine. And i succeeded!!

Here's sharing my recipe for Milo Tiramisu:

Ingredients (Makes a 9 inch cake)

• 400ml of whipping cream
• 500g Mascarpone cheese, bring to room temp
• 3 to 4 tbsp of condensed milk (you can reduce or increase depending on the level of sweetness which you'd like)
• ladyfinger biscuits (i lost count but i must have used at least 50 to 60 pieces?)
• 1 cup of milo. I did not add any sugar to it
• 2-3 tbsp Milo powder
• 1 tsp vanilla extract

Whip the whipping cream until stiff, adding the condensed milk halfway. 

Do not over whip. Approximately 5 minutes will do. Once you achieved a soft peak, Stop.

Put the mascarpone cheese into another mixing bowl and slowly fold in the whipped cream.

Dip the ladyfinger biscuits into the cup of milo and arrange them neatly. Don't oversoak as they will turn soggy easily. Also, need not worry about the little gaps in between. It will be filled up with the cream.

Smoothen on a layer of the cheese mixture and dust on some sieved milo powder. Repeat this for the next 2 layers. I did 3 layers in total but you can always adjust accordingly.

Put it into the fridge for approximately 1 to 2 hours and take it out to place the biscuits round the circumference and pop it back into the fridge again. This is to allow the whole cake to set. It needs to be refrigerated for approximately 6 to 8 hours but due to the lack of time, i only managed to have it in for 4hours. Luckily it didn't turn out too bad.

Tie a ribbon round the cake as a form of decoration. If you are looking for a totally eggless one, you might need to bake the sponge cake yourself. 

Tadah!!! my end product! Mighty proud of myself! The in-laws and those who ate were kind enough to say that it was nice. Not too sweet. Yay! N you know what? I gave Small K a few bites and he didn't break out in rash!!! guess the eggs in the ladyfingers weren't that potent! Yippee! 

It's really quite insane how time flies..cliche i know. But with two, everyday seems to be a rush. This is especially so when I'm mostly a one man (or woman) show. We have no helper and though the mother-in-law helps, she generally takes over in the afternoons after 2pm. Am thankful for that arrangement as it allows me to head out to bring some bacon back but then again, it means no quality time with each of my children. The guilt has been gnawing me for a while. I used to do so much with Big K. By 1yo she was rattling off so many words. But with Small K, i can see a significant difference. The difference is so startling that recently my hubby has asked me why haven't i done any homeschooling with the kid. By this age, I've already brought Big K for playgroups but with Small K, the only playgroup is probably with the neighbour which happens only once a month perhaps. Apart from time, to be honest, money is a factor. Education for young children is so damn expensive! And the burden lies on me because the dear husband doesn't believe in paying money for such stuff. He feels that kids will naturally learn by going to the playground or by playing marbles with the neighbors. What he doesn't realise is, he doesn't bring them to the playground all that often! And even if he does, he'll be leaving them to their own devices while he engages in a battle on mobile. Yes, his addiction to mobile games is getting to me. Recently, my father-in-law also asked if I've been teaching the boy! Gosh! These men don't used to be so anxious! In fact, they think that is natural progression and the kid will automatically know their ABCs by the time they reach Primary 1! So yes, i really should get my act together. These days whenever I've pockets of time, and we are only talking about 10mins here or 20mins there, I would either be pumping and catching up on half an episode of my drama or surfing the net. Social media and the Internet can really be evil but yet again, it's necessary to keep in touch with the world. To me at least. 

So dear son, please give me some time, I'm sure I'll get something done for you. Slowly but surely. Meanwhile, turning one is really awesome and I'm so blessed and happy to have you in my life. You are my miracle child and my happy pill. I pray for your good health and may life be filled with lots of blessings!

Homelearning amidst the craziness

It's been a while since I've posted anything on our homelearning efforts. To be honest, I've been a headless chicken since the arrival of Small K. It is coming to a year (GOSH! A year? did someone just say he's going to turn one?!) but everything's been pretty disorganised. I'm living each day as it comes. If I'm up to it, I'll do my prep work the night before and feel really good the next day. However, more often than not, I'd rather crash in bed, thinking that with all the experience and toys i have, i can simply whip something up at the snap of the finger. But, i forgotten to take into account the kids' temperament. Sometimes what i grab may not appeal to them. I guess they can feel my insincerity. Really hope to be more well prepared and purposeful in our learning. 

The guilt is eating me up but things havent gotten any easier since last weekend. Everything seems to be telling me that I've to slow things down even more. The laptops went cranky (yes both laptops), the printer went cuckoo (all thanks for silly me who bought the wrong cartridge! Wasted good money there coz I no longer have the receipt), best of all, the husband turned off my deep freezer which stored all my frozen breast milk!!! That completely drove me up the wall! Imagine my exasperation. His explanation was that he needed a plug for the warmer. The warmer has all the while been at another spot and there was no reason why he should shift it! Even then, he continued to defend himself by saying he switched the freezer on and off but somehow he forgotten to turn it on for the last time! All my stash completely thawed. I hugged Small K and wanted to cry but no tears came out. Supply has dipped tremendously but I don't intend to stop breastfeeding any soon. *stress. I attribute his forgetfulness to his addiction to gaming. He's a great dad and all but gaming is getting in the way. Seriously, for the last two weeks when the mil went on holiday, we were all on our own. I took the morning shift whilst he took the afternoons. He cooked dinner for the kids, bathed them, wound them down and washed up. Often, leaving two or three items for me to wash up. His excuse -- I would be too free if he did them all. HRMPH. So any hoots, back to the addiction. It's so bad that he went out at midnight one day to buy a snack, armed with his iPad but not his keys. Yups, at 1230am, he called me and even rang the door bell. I was fast asleep but was awoken. And Small K was also awoken. Thanks. So if there's such a place as a rehabilitation centre for gamers, please let me know. I'd like to send him there!

Ops! Sorry I digressed. Pardon me, but it's not easy managing a big baby and two other little ones. It's really tough managing two young children alone. Kudos to those who do homeschooling full time! Probably I'll manage better if I don't have to work and have more time and am not always in a rush.  If you give Big K something, Small K will come along and explore (read: create a mess) and this causes Big K to scream her lungs out. If you give Small K something, Big K will come along to say that she wants it as well.  "i want i want i want..mama mama mama" Those words are frequently resonating in my household. So how do I manage it? Well, i find an activity where both are able to play together and when Small K naps, I try to get Big K to do other stuff. That is if I've the energy and she's cooperative. 

Below are some of the activities, apart from roaming around freely in the house, that we did over the last month:

They absolutely LOVE this. Sensory play is just what the boy needs! I'm thankful that he's at an age where learning is this easy!

I've been trying to introduce phonics to Big K, but I've been terribly inconsistent. She's in her sensitive stage now and I really would love to do a bit more. However, it's not always easy to get her to sit and listen and furthermore, I'm often doing such activities as I cook or wash the dishes. 

I had these for a while but it didn't really appeal to her till of late. 

My mom brought me these. I don't know why. So instead of throwing, I improvised it into a bingo game for Big K! She totally enjoyed it. 

Things are a tad slow around here. However, slowly but surely, we will get there. 

Melancholy and Mother's Day

Mother's day. Pre kids, it was realy a no big deal day to me. I mean seriously it is just a commercial way for retailers to exploit. That said, i have been exploited. For if i hadn't done my part and celebrate with Empress Dowager, she would probably disown me as she sank into her abyss of depression for my unfilial act. 

Post kids, initially i didn't feel it was a big deal too coz honestly Big K was too young to understand the significance and in anycase, everyday should be Mother's Day! Then in 2013, everything changed. Melancholy and Mother's Day were suddenly synonymous. I had a painful loss. A loss which made my heart bleed so badly. They say time will heal. It did. But it would never be complete. The scar will always be there. Then God heard my prayers and gifted me Small K. My miracle child i call. All wounds should have been healed with this happy pill's arrival. Indeed, motherhood took on a different meaning and i felt that Mother's Day is a must for the husband (not the kids) to recognise my efforts. But, as if i had to go through yet another csection, today, i received a sad news. A man who has been a fatherly figure to me when i was a toddler; a man who brought me to the playground and pushed me on the swing; a man with a golden heart. This man, who had the same name as the late LKY passed away on 9 May. The exact same date when my world crashed 2 years ago. The zipper on the csec scar was opened once again. I thought i wouldn't have this much emotions. Afterall, apart from Chinese New year and perhaps mid autumn festival, i rarely see them. Pretty terrible of me if i may say but there were so much happening for the last 5 years and with little help, and little time, all i could do was to give a call. Even then, it was rare. So it took me by great surprise that my name was in his obituary. God-daughter. That's who i am. To be honest, I'm not too big on this whole god daughter business. Since young, several of mum's friends wanted me to be their god-daughter. It really felt weird to me. But this was different. My godma whom i affectionately call Aunty Lee, was my nanny when i was a little girl. From my recollection, i was pretty close with her children though they were at least 12years my senior. Then when i was no longer under her care, we drifted. But today at the funeral, i felt that i was never forgotten. I thanked them for treating me as family and the reply i got was "you are always part of us". #touched max. It's like gaining a family i never had. I've always been alone so having this huge family showing love to me made me speechless.

All these episodes are probably God's way of showing me that love is all around and that there are miracles around. Indeed, I'm blessed and appreciative.

Happy Mother's Day ya all! I now have more reasons to remember this day.

Love my babies to the moon and back!

I will grab on to the both of you forever!

A cake for myself! Yup, the hub fails in getting Best Husband award because he doesn't believe in Mother's Day, flowers, cakes and all those works. Oh well, it doesn't bother me (Who am I kidding! It does ok!).
This lovely Matcha Oreo Cake was baked by the lovely people at #inthebrickyard. It went very well with the usually fussy husband and I'm really liking it because it ain't too sweet! Best Mom Ever? Hell Yeah! I won't deny that!