Melancholy and Mother's Day

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Mother's day. Pre kids, it was realy a no big deal day to me. I mean seriously it is just a commercial way for retailers to exploit. That said, i have been exploited. For if i hadn't done my part and celebrate with Empress Dowager, she would probably disown me as she sank into her abyss of depression for my unfilial act. 

Post kids, initially i didn't feel it was a big deal too coz honestly Big K was too young to understand the significance and in anycase, everyday should be Mother's Day! Then in 2013, everything changed. Melancholy and Mother's Day were suddenly synonymous. I had a painful loss. A loss which made my heart bleed so badly. They say time will heal. It did. But it would never be complete. The scar will always be there. Then God heard my prayers and gifted me Small K. My miracle child i call. All wounds should have been healed with this happy pill's arrival. Indeed, motherhood took on a different meaning and i felt that Mother's Day is a must for the husband (not the kids) to recognise my efforts. But, as if i had to go through yet another csection, today, i received a sad news. A man who has been a fatherly figure to me when i was a toddler; a man who brought me to the playground and pushed me on the swing; a man with a golden heart. This man, who had the same name as the late LKY passed away on 9 May. The exact same date when my world crashed 2 years ago. The zipper on the csec scar was opened once again. I thought i wouldn't have this much emotions. Afterall, apart from Chinese New year and perhaps mid autumn festival, i rarely see them. Pretty terrible of me if i may say but there were so much happening for the last 5 years and with little help, and little time, all i could do was to give a call. Even then, it was rare. So it took me by great surprise that my name was in his obituary. God-daughter. That's who i am. To be honest, I'm not too big on this whole god daughter business. Since young, several of mum's friends wanted me to be their god-daughter. It really felt weird to me. But this was different. My godma whom i affectionately call Aunty Lee, was my nanny when i was a little girl. From my recollection, i was pretty close with her children though they were at least 12years my senior. Then when i was no longer under her care, we drifted. But today at the funeral, i felt that i was never forgotten. I thanked them for treating me as family and the reply i got was "you are always part of us". #touched max. It's like gaining a family i never had. I've always been alone so having this huge family showing love to me made me speechless.

All these episodes are probably God's way of showing me that love is all around and that there are miracles around. Indeed, I'm blessed and appreciative.
Happy Mother's Day ya all! I now have more reasons to remember this day.

Love my babies to the moon and back!

I will grab on to the both of you forever!
A cake for myself! Yup, the hub fails in getting Best Husband award because he doesn't believe in Mother's Day, flowers, cakes and all those works. Oh well, it doesn't bother me (Who am I kidding! It does ok!).
This lovely Matcha Oreo Cake was baked by the lovely people at #inthebrickyard. It went very well with the usually fussy husband and I'm really liking it because it ain't too sweet! Best Mom Ever? Hell Yeah! I won't deny that!