The Almighty M.I.L

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Recently, I read that a young English couple, Heidi Withers and Freddie Bourne have been thrust into the media spotlight, due to a letter written by the groom's mothers. ( In her missive, Carolyn Bourne gives her future daughter-in-law a dressing down about her apparent lack of manners. She berates Withers for her behaviour during a visit to the family in April, which she describes as "staggering in its uncouthness and lack of grace". Bourne is now labelled by the media here as the "mother-in-law from hell". In this respect, I'm lucky. The horror stories of formidable M.I.L came thick and fast the moment we got married, but I must say, mine is no Empress Dowager-style monster-in-law. In retrospect, I think my own mother is the wicked witch! haha...One reason for our good in-law relationship is coz we aren't living together. With all those hormones under one roof, it's no surprise that sparks will fly. There is a comfortable distance between us yet we are close enough (just 2 blocks away for that matters) to foster good relations.

During this difficult time, particularly during the first tri, with the hubs always away and nonchalant about my well-being, the MIL has been showering me with care and food. Each night when I arrive home at 10pm, I'd have home-cooked food by her. Without qualms (or at least I'd like to think of it that way), she'd bring it over to my house. Very often, there's also the infamous ginseng, double boiled soup and birds' nest soup. I feel so blessed and cared for. On the contrary, my mom will buzz me for a bottle of birds' nest. Yes, this is the sad fact. The MIL has also offered her services during my confinement. I m tremendously thankful else I would have to incur a minimum of $2k for a confinement nanny. Many have urged me to get one regardless as my MIL may not be able to cope with the nights but she has insisted that she is able to. Given her record, I must say, she's a superwoman! Waking up at 4+am to do chores, then goes to work; after work, comes home to cook for the family and be at the beck and call of her children and her picky husband. Totally salute her! Thus, I have faith that she'll be able to do a good job during my confinement month *cross fingers*. Am praying we won't have conflict as to how to take care of the little bub. Many friends have caved in to the pressures of an almighty MIL and hv been battling with depression. Currently, whenever I mention that there's something to help in pregnancy, she'd go all out to get it for me. Upon knowing the gender, she went shopping for clothes the very next day! Excited much? Amidst the domestic flurry, you'd think she doesn't have much of a life balance but WRONG! She manages to travel every now and then and recently came back from a wk long trip with 6 other aunties to Australia! Half her luggage was filled with baby stuff and health food for me! haha...the sis-in-law was desperately wagging her tail in hope of pressies, but all she received were pink socks! haha..I guess as long as we don't overstep their boundaries, it should be less difficult to extricate yourself from any ensuing drama. It's a precarious balancing act and I had good training from my own mother!

PS: Credit should also be given to my sis-in-law who has been a dear during the absence of the mil. Whipped up a simple meal for me and even helped me with my massive books at unearthly hour when her bro, my hubs, isn't around for me. Am truly blessed.