Big K's discovery of Teratoma

 Never.

Never had I expected that things would turn out this way. Nothing could mollify those devastating moments of despondency that would remain forever etched in my mind. I demanded justice at the start of the year when I was torn by a miscarriage. And today, on the fateful day of Children's day, I lay shattered like a broken China once again. Tears marred my vision and it felt like I was elevated onto the gallows. 

8th October. Mom was scheduled for her surgery. To remove the tumour in her rectum. I haven't quite shared, but mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 rectal cancer in November 2019. She went through 3-4 cycles of chemotherapy and finally, the doctor gave the go-ahead for a surgery. After seeing her enter the operation theatre, I headed off to work. Yes, I was still working that day. Instead of packing up and down the corridors of the hospital or standing outside the OT, feeling absolutely helpless, I might as well work for 2hours right? Midway through work, the deliveryman called asking me if anyone was at home to receive a parcel. There should be. Before I left home, Big K was sleeping, Small K was due to be home and the hubs was working from home. So yes, they should be at home. But they weren't. 

Puzzled. 

I texted the hub, only to find out that he brought Big K to the hospital to see our Pediatrician again as her tummyaches intensified till her face turned as white as sheet. A month ago, we admitted her due to constipation. We initially thought that it could have been a muscle strain as papa made her do some leg raises which might have pulled a muscle. What ensued over that weekend were episodes of vomiting and acute pain. So painful, she couldn't stand or walk well. We took her to the GP and it was inconclusive. It wasn't food poisoning, stomach flu or UTI. So the GP suggested that we monitor the pain and gave us a letter for A&E as she suspected HERNIA! Say what nia? I had to google and it freaked me out. Her nauseousness and acute pain persisted and we zipped her off to A&E. The PD had a look at her concluded that she had severe constipation. The condition wasn't because she wasn't pooping. On the contrary, she was. Everyday. Xrays and Ultrasound showed that her large intestines were all clogged up and there were hardly any pockets of air to push the poo out. The PD explained that this could be due to the fact that she pooped too quickly and over time, the remnants built up. It needed time to clear. Probably a month she said. So we gave it time. Despite Big K's complaints, we still insisted that it could possibly be constipation. However, that afternoon, our PD felt something different. She felt a lump at the tail end of her large intestine and instantly ordered for a CT scan. 

Dilemma.

It was at a time when my daughter was in the hospital waiting for the time to do her CT scan and it was also at that moment that my mom was already wheeled out from surgery. Who should I go to? Mom or dot? It was a tough call which was probably why the husband did not inform me there and then. He knew I needed to settle mom and didn't expect things to be so bad for Big K. So I headed down to Tan Tock Seng Hospital to have a quick check on mom. She was awake and grumbling despite having a slight fever. I knew she was going to be well (Since she could grumble), so I zipped down to my baby girl. 

7pm I arrived at East Shore Hospital.

830pm CT Scan. 

 

By now, Big K was already in immense pain. She could not lie or sit well. She seemed to be searing in pain. She was made to drink "contrast". Something which would aid the CT scan and even then, it made her want to vomit. She entered the room herself but minutes later, the radiologists came out asking me for help. Baby girl was in so much pain, she couldn't lay straight to facilitate the execution of a proper CT Scan. They needed my assistance. With a lot of coaxing and me decked in a lead vest to protect myself from the harmful radiation, she finally did the scan. 

930pm. Results were out. 

My world collapsed when I heard the news. a 10.3 x 6.6 x 6.0cm  tumour was found in her ovary. It had tiny calcifications, fat-attenuation appearance which is suggestive of a mature cystic teratoma/ dermoid cyst. Her left ovary was also not discretely identified. Meaning to say that the cyst was so huge, it covered it and we do not know if the ovary was still healthy. One complication of this was ovarian torsion. I was speechless when the PD announced it to me. I was alone (due to covid, they only allowed one parent to be with the child) and I knew I had to stay strong. But it was so tough. It was a double whammy for the day! The day my mom went for surgery was the day I discovered that my child had a tumour? I couldn't even say the word out loud. Those moments of anguish and agony lay like broken mosaic tiles, forming the picture of hell on Earth. It hit me like a bolt from the blue and once again, I demanded justice. I knew that I am viewed as a resilient woman. From all my recent episodes. Every single episode did help me surmount countless moments of desperation. But the reality of the situation was that I was assaulted by multitudinous arrows that struck and agonised my heart. I called the hubs who was trying to settle Small K and his own work matters. He expected the result to be yet another sign of constipation but when he heard the news, he too turned silent. The words spun round and round, destroying our mental faculty, grinding it to an ominous stop. We had nothing to say to each other for that few seconds. My world of happiness came to a cataclysmic collision with the world of reality. 

1015pm PD suggested we get transferred to KKH

KKH is known to be the forefathers when it comes to children's condition. Our PD said Teratoma is rare and in her years of practice, she probably saw it once every 10years. Say what? Why were we so unfortunate then! Why can't this translate to a lucky draw instead? The thoughts continued to swim in my head. My inner screams rose to an unbearable crescendo of screams. She gave us an option for us to go in an ambulance of I could drive her there myself. I wanted to zip us down immediately but the hubs was concerned with my mental health. Plus I only managed to clock 2 hours of sleep the night before. Hence, he insisted we call for an ambulance. The hospital assisted us on this and our PD was really nice, coming in constantly to check on us. To check on me, in particular. The blow was bad. I didn't look that badly shaken to be honest. But it was all a facade. A part of me had collapsed. In that instant, I really did not know what to do. 

After what seemed like eternity, the ambulance finally arrived (after almost an hour). By the time we arrived at KKH and got ourselves checked in, it was already 1am. Once again, due to Covid19, only one could accompany Big K. Though badly shaken, I needed to be the one. The hubs understood and stood outside the A&E, waiting for further news. We were brought to a waiting area where the doctor asked us some questions. Meanwhile, the hubs got admission done and we were pushed up the ward. By now, Big K was knackered. Her spirits were still high though. Afterall, it was her first experience (and only one I hope) in an ambulance at the age of 8+. It was also exciting that she got to sleep that late. Truth be told, she was already dozing off in the ambulance as she looked around curiously. Seeing her indifference due to her ignorance pained me even more. 

That night, I couldn't sleep. I was shivering in cold and gasping for air. I had no one to turn to. I ranted on social media because it was late and I needed an outlet. Friends I have, but it was late and I knew better than to impose. I refused to be placated even after the hubs texted to say that he is optimistic all is going to be well. He is always the happy-go-lucky one. The optimistic one in the relationship. To the extent, I sometimes feel, he is unfeeling. 

930am Dr Ong Han Lim, Associate Consultant of the Department of Paediatric Surgery came to Ward 75, Bed 12. 

Together with his team, he went through the possibilities and after an internal discussion with the team, they concurred with our PD, that it was indeed Teratoma and it had to be removed asap since it was causing her so much pain. They were calm. Too calm. They probably have seen several more cases but still I was told that it is something rare. In fact, they have been trying to gather participants for their research in this area and their aim was to attain 150 participants for their study. However, to date, they only managed to get 60 in a span of 3 years! That is how rare this damn cyst is! They put us on priority and managed to get a slot for the operation theatre for that day. Laparoscopic Cystectomy kiv oophorectomy. Gosh, the jargons scared me. 

9th October 2020. 430pm. Operation. Children's Day.

Like a bolt from the blue, right after lunch, we were told that the surgery would be scheduled for that afternoon. Once again, I was hyperventilating and tears flooded my eyes. I hugged Big K tightly, telling her to be strong and brave. She was baffled and thinks perhaps I should be the one who needed to be strong and brave. My kids are the sole impetus behind the perseverance. They give me courage. Courage was the essence of what impelled me to accomplish each day. No matter what construed over the past few months: Mom's cancer, my grandfather's passing and my miscarriage. But now, one child's health is at stake. I felt like I had been slapped. It felt like someone up there was playing a prank on me and this is was breaking the camel's back. Big K was extremely brave and I tried keeping her occupied with happy things. She missed her brother so much, the two of them kept video-calling each other.

Thud. Thud. Thud. 

My heart palpitated wildly in my ribcage as the hours ticked by. As we drew closer to 430pm, my heart pumped harder. at 2pm, I ensured that Big K was comfortable and tried to sponge her. I wanted to do everything for her. We prayed really hard and each time I prayed, tears rolled down uncontrollably. At one point in time, Big K hugged me, telling me she was sorry. She apologized as she thought it was her fault that she's ill. Oh my heart. It shattered into a million pieces. Oh my darling, it isn't your fault. It is no one's fault. We are just unlucky. I don't have the answers to why we are unlucky, but that's a fact we can't change. We could only pray for divine intervention. 

4pm. Operation theatre. 

She was made to change into a robe and strip off her undies. She felt tickled and was giggling all the way. She was still pretty clueless. I did explain to her that a monster is in her and that is the thing which is causing her immense pain. We had to take it out in order to feel better. She understood and even asked to see that monster after it was taken out. Such a brave girl! Someone please give her a trophy. The surgeons came to speak to us and told us of the option for one parent to go in with Big K to ensure that she doesn't go ballistic during GA administration. Once again, the hub knew I needed to be there and gave me the honour. I helped her tiny hand tightly as she was wheeled into the theatre. The cold white walls must have given her a different vibe. She looked all around her and suddenly realisation hit her like a sledgehammer. She whispered, "mama, I'm scared." I told her not to be. To focus on positive things, to think of the songs I sang with her. To pray and have God in her heart. But I was a wreck. I was tearing so badly, my mask was wet. Seconds later, the doctor started injecting saline. It made her uncomfortable but she did not cry. She never shed a tear. However, she exclaimed. This time I could sense her fear in her voice. She cried out to me" Mama, I'm scared, I'm scared!" I was so helpless, I could only continually scream for her to be brave. That I would be here waiting for her when she woke up. I screamed at the top of my lungs for her to pray and that God will protect her. She did no wrong. My poor child. I bawled my eyes out and the next moment, within probably 3 seconds, the aesthetician announced that Big K was asleep. That feeling of having your child hold you so tightly, shouting out in fear to the moment she fell into a deep slumber and let go of you. The feeling was indescribable and no parent should ever go through this. 

I walked out of the OT and ran into the husband's embrace. Cried buckets and I could have sworn he too, wanted to cry out loud. but he didn't. He once told me that if I'm in such a wreck and if he is also affected badly, who will hold the fort? He urged me to head home for some rest. The operation was going to take at least 2 hours and she has to spend another 2 hours in the recovery ward. Instead of heading back, I dragged him off to pray. My face bored the wretchedness that was swallowing my heart and soul. He couldn't talk me out of things and accompanied me. I bemoaned in tears and sobs, telling God the devastating news. Grief washed over me in tides but luckily masks were mandatory and that hid my woebegone expression. Following that, we went for a quick bite. I haven't eaten much. Midway, the husband announced that all should be good since there weren't any calls and it was already an hour into the operation. You see, we were told that should her ovary be damaged and that they had to cut it off, they would call us. This was something which caused me to plummet into the depths of despair. I tried to stifle my sobs as my husband tried to console me. 

730pm. The call came. 

Big K was out in the recovery ward and both her ovaries are intact and the prognosis based on the doctor's observations (they found hair --YES HAIR! FREAKISH and calcifications which might develop into TEETH if it carried on developing) and experience, it was indeed a mature dermoid cyst hence it is likely to be benign. Ohhh thank God! Someone up there was watching over her! The tumour was expanding in her ovary hence the left ovary could not be seen. Also, the doctor later revealed that her ovary was actually twisted 360 degrees but because it still looked pink and healthy, they were able to salvage it. Early detection helped. So please do not dismiss your child's pleas when they are in pain. Such a thing is so random. It isn't hereditary or genetic. The harrowing few hours of nervous anticipation that amalgamated with ominous fear finally vapourised! We zipped back to the hospital and called out to Big K. She struggled to keep her eyes open and managed a weak grin when she saw me. Guffaws of joy and relief choked in my throat. That night, she slept. She woke up midway wanting to pee. She underestimated her threshold and insisted on going down the bed and walk to the toilet. Bad move. She bravely walked to the toilet but on the way back, the pain surged through her. But being the warrior that she is, She lumbered back to her bed. Every step was excruciating and it pained me so much. I wanted so badly to carry her 23kg frame back to the bed, but I could not as I would cause her more pain. She could only depend on herself. She made it, but following that, she developed a phobia and refused to get off bed. It was so arduous to even pee on the bed pan. The whole process took possibly 20minutes as she was in immense pain. Think Cesarean if you have ever gone through it. Imagine taking out a 10cm tumour from a petite child. Proportionately, 10cm is HUGE. 

The black stuff was the tumour. It was as big as the bladder from the scans. 

The entire episode was like a whirlwind. Between diagnosis to surgery, it was only 2 days. Less than 48 hours. Ripples of disbelief still linger in my heart. We waited for almost a week before the histology was out. The immensity of the pressure was lifted with the assurance of the doctor to us that it was non-cancerous. It is such a dirty word, I can't even say it. Upon hearing that, all the muscles in my body eased momentarily. While we have successfully hopped over one hurdle, the journey ahead is still uncertain. Big K has to be checked periodically for at least the next few years. We have to continually pray for a non-recurrence. 

Thank you all for your support, prayers, love and encouragement in one way or another. We are deeply appreciative. A time-bomb is still in us. For now, gratitude triumphed over insomnia. We can only take one day at a time. Hope is what keeps us going. 

I am broken

From time to time, we get lemons thrown at us. Growing up, I had a good share of curveballs thrown at me. I survived them. It has made me who i am. A stronger person. But nothing prepared me for what  happened over the last few months. Nothing prepared me for today’s episode. 

So what happened? Here’s the scoop. I had an early miscarriage. 

Yes, some of you, like my mom, will start nagging, pointing fingers that i over exerted myself. That’s true. I did. There's no denial. But before you carry on, i suppose you have to be in one’s shoes to totally understand. All that i did are mandatory. I don’t suppose i could have abandoned my very sick mother? Or not to be present on behalf of my dad when gramps passed away? And most certainly, for the kids, i simply have no one else to outsource. I was so frustrated and felt like no one understood. I am pretty sure that most of us are just as stretched. Except that some have extra help from the village or a helper. I am no different,  just no helper and probably lament more. The only helper i have is my manservant aka the husband, who helps around. But if you know him, he is the most practical person around and plus, his travel schedules are sometimes worse than a pilot’s.

It was an unexpected pregnancy. I wasn’t even aware.  Because i had Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (pcos), having irregular menses was part of the deal. I didn't suspect anything and with Xmas and Chinese New year hostings, there were inevitably booze and seafood. Yes, i would have been very conscious if I had known. I am a staunch believer of TCM. Plus all the immense spring cleaning. It is so hard to reconcile my feelings of guilt right now. 

On 31 Jan 2020, i thought to myself, let’s buy a homekit and test for pregnancy because I was late. 3 weeks late in fact. I had butterflies in my stomach. It turned out positive. I showed the husband and we were in disbelief. Stunned like vegetables were the right description. But we quickly regained our composure and accepted this joy. The kids were wondering what’s going on. So papa told them,”You are gonna have a mei mei or didi!” The kids, particularly Small K was excited and asked where issit? Big K as usual took a bit of time to warm up to the news. You see, she isn’t the easily excited kind. Cool as a cucumber. Especially when it involves having another one to steal her parents’ love. But she soon said she wanted a mei mei. I was having the jitters and honestly still not quite believing my eyes. So i went to Waterloo Street and got a lot. It spoke to me loud and clear:: lot number 44 --  you will give birth to a baby girl. I texted my husband and told him i will make an appointment with the gynae.

We rejoiced coz it isn't like my body was that fertile plus i am 40! Old! While i like to think that 40 is the new 20, my body may not be in sync with that thought. I was still lamenting to my gfs on how emo i was coz Small K is going into primary so life’s gonna be boring. What am I gonna post? Then i commented to some friends about the trend that many of my girlfriends(my age) are having another baby.  I wondered why. Why break the comfort? But when i knew that something was growing in me, i felt differently. I could feel my motherly instinct sneaking in and was even excited about breastfeeding and of course teaching the little one! It felt like someone up there heard me and wanted to give me another chance to nurture another life. Everyone knows i am good at that right? But strangely, that dream was short lived. 

On Monday 3 February 2020, i called my gynae. I was having very light brown spottings then and related it to the nurse. Knowing that i had no cramps, She slotted me in for an appointment the next morning. The day progressed as usual. Work and home. I honestly didn't do anything to over exert. Just did my regular chauffeur duties, cooked and worked. However, the light brown stains became dark brown. I googled that it could be old blood and most of the time normal during the first trimester. The night progressed and I couldn't sleep. In the middle of the night, fresh blood came and it was accompanied by dull pains which i thought could be caused by flatulence. By 5am, the pains were so intense,  i had to crawl out of bed to reach out to my hubby for help. I was purging blood. I could barely walk. The scene was scary. It was akin to what you see on tv dramas when the lady has blood oozing down her legs. We however needed to settle the kids before he sent me into A&E. 

We arrived at the emergency ward at 7am. Waited for our gynae, Dr Ho, who arrived about 1h 15mins later. He scanned me and confirmed indeed there was a gestational sac in my womb. Yes! There was life! But it was low and I was bleeding rather badly so he told us to be prepared for the worse. He gave me a jab of progesterone and i took Duphaston through the night. He was to scan me again the next day. I was ordered to bed rest. I didn’t dare move. Even peeing was done on the bed pan and i absolutely salute the nurses for cleaning me up! Where do they find the courage? Kudos to them. I prayed the whole night. I was surrounded by angels and i knew being in a Catholic hospital would give me the divine intervention i needed. I was hopeful when I wasn’t cramping anymore and the bleeding minimised. I needed and told my closest girlfriends who were nothing but encouraging. They checked in on me regularly and kept me positive. I rallied for prayers. I needed some kind of hope and peace. We prayed. One even told me it was a good sign when Dr said that my tummy was soft. Coz that meant that I wasn’t contracting which was a sign of a miscarriage. 

The moment of truth came the next morning, 4 Feb 2020 at 930am when i was due to be scanned again. I kept visualising the positive and let an image of a fetus shine in my mind. The idiotically practical husband had to however, comfort me by saying what yours will be yours. Hmm. I ordered him to sit far away! I didn't need this. I really didn’t. 

The scan was done. The sac was gone. Baby, our meeting was so fleeting. 7weeks. One minute you were here and the next you were not. Whatever happened to I would give birth to a baby girl? Why is the world so cruel? To bless me with a gift and take it away within days? This has been the second miscarriage i had suffered. It is very damaging to one’s body. One needs to do a mini confinement. I love confinement coz one is treated like a queen. But such a confinement is completely different. The familiarity was tremendously painful. 

the familiarity of these bright lights.
Not a pleasant kind of familiarity this time.

At 1pm i was wheeled into the operating theatre for a procedure called D&C or dilation and curettage. Prior to that, even though i was a mess, i had to be collected and texted all my clients that I couldn’t see them for 2 weeks. I had to cancel my appointments with all my girlfriends who were looking forward to celebrating with me my birthday. Yes, it is my birthday month and this would have been the best birthday present. I had to inform my uncles that I won’t be able to represent dad for prayers to gramp this coming week. I had to let my dad know the news. Of all people, i told my folks the last. On the same day, mom was at another hospital doing her blood tests. It wasn’t that good either. Poor daddy. It’s tough being him too. The wife is sick and his only precious daughter is down too. He could only give an exasperated ,”aiyooo why like that?” I tried to be calm. For him. I tried to be strong and not cry. For him. But it was so tough. He conveyed the message to Empress Dowager. The first time when I had my miscarriage, her first few words were " Don't you dare cry!". This time she texted me, "Why are you pregnant?" Geez. Definitely not something pleasant to my ears. But that's Empress Dowager for you. Someone who doesn't mince her words. Someone who doesn't show or knows how to express compassion to her only daughter. As I lay on the operating bed, waiting for my gyane to arrive, a million thoughts ran through my mind. This was all too familiar. Dr Ho arrived. He lay his hand on my shoulder and said, "I know you are sad". A tear was already rolling in my eye and with that, the tear trickled out the edge and I drifted off to sleep under GA. So drama I know. But true. 

bird food at the hospital wasn't quite palatable but I was so happy that I was served for once, instead of serving others

Meanwhile, I had to search for a reasonably priced confinement tingkat caterer who could start off immediately. I even placed order for herbal bath packs online. Thanks to a recommendation from a kind friend who had been there for me. All these sensible things had to be done by me because i am alone. The mil will only do minimally because she isn’t quite big on this whole confinement business. In fact, one can even say that i am more aunty than she is. Secondly, her daughter is also sick and she had been staying overnight with her. So how can i trouble her? I could only rely on myself and the  husband of course. However, Mr ‘pilot’ is flying this coming Monday, though we are still hopeful that it will be postponed due to the #wuhanvirus. This is so deja vu once again. During my first miscarriage he was on flight to France and the moment he heard of the news, he took the next flight home. He was in the skies for 20 odd hours. 

I gave the husband instructions to go to a medical hall to get 生化汤 to boil for me. He did good. He boiled and sent it over to the hospital the next morning. 

I was discharged today 6.02.2020. The doctor kept me for an extra day as I was running a temperature.
Thanks to my level-headedness, I came home to a nice confinement meal from Nouriche.

This was dinner. The fish soup was tasty and the broccoli was fine. Didn't quite like the pork coz it was too porky rather than having the wine taste. The grains were very hard too. I do appreciate the fact that they have a dessert each time. Only thing, it wasn't sweet enough. Bland is good i guess?


Sent the hubs to Hock Hua Medical Hall to purchase this for showering. It is typically used for postnatal care. To dispel winds in the body. Traditionally, women aren't allowed to shower, these days, it's ok to shower with such herbs. I've also ordered some online from Laobanniang.com.sg. Lucky to be living in Singapore. The convenience is immense.

It looks black and smells eeky to some. But I like the smell of herbs, so it doesn't bother me.


These days, even chicken essence comes in different pattern. These are concentrated, easy to use, frozen chicken essence. All you need to do is to put one sachet in boiling water for 3 to 5 minutes before drinking. An old friend, upon hearing what I've gone through, sent this across immediately and insisted I drink. I will. After Wk 2. Coz it is said no eggs and chicken during the first week at least. 

After 3 days of not seeing Big and Small K, mama's finally back home. They came home with these cards for me. I was so touched, I cried again. I am not supposed to shed so much tears during this mini confinement period. But it's so hard to control. I will have to sit them down in a moment to explain to them what had happened. It's gonna be tough. So tough.

The trauma this time was really unlike the first. Besides the fact that it felt like a scene taken off a TVB drama, during my first loss, one can say things like “don’t worry, nurse yourself back to health and try again” but now at 40, people will only tell you to rest well. 

I don’t really like how 2020 is looking. 

They say i am the luckiest animal amongst the 12 zodiac this year, but why am I not feeling any luck? I haven't been a bad person all my life. I think i had been a rather good person. Not the best perhaps, not the kindest but certainly not the worst. But yet, bad things just keep rolling at me. I may be strong but this is taking too much of me. I am trying very hard to reconcile my feelings. To be at peace. I know this shall all pass and before you know it, I will be up and going again. But the pain, it will always be there.

One little student asked his grandma

"Aunty Janice is such a happy and nice person always. But why are so many sad things happening to her?"

Baby, I wished I knew. I know life has its seasons. But I'm really tired to be bombed with all these lemons. 

I am broken. I really am. 

Review & Discount: Pramwash, Singapore's First Baby Stroller Cleaning Company

How often do you wash your pram or carseat? Come on, let's be honest here. We almost never wash our pram and our carseat, well, we try to wash it once a year. It's a chore to take it out and wash and it takes a few days to dry. Meaning to say, we will be without a carseat for a few days. A no-no, since I uber my kids every day.

When I got to know about PramWash, I was excited. They are the first baby stroller cleaning company based in Singapore with full-service stroller cleaning options available to local families. They have grown so much that they have recently expanded into a larger space to accommodate their growing client demands.

So how does it work?
They have essentially two types of packages available -- The Complete and the Intensive.
The complete package will remove accumulated dirt and bacteria and freshen up your pram/ car seat/ carrier for your baby's everyday use. This package includes vacuum, wash, wipe and sterilising of the fabrics and frame. Prices start from $25 for a carrier to $170 for a double pram + 2 car seats. A really good deal don't your think?

The Intensive stain removal package is required for very dirty prams with any sort of stains that need to be removed. This is done right down to the wheels (Provided the wheels can be dismantled). This package includes all treatments from the complete package with an additional step to remove yucky hairs from wheels.

Our pram isn't exactly that dirty as we underutilise it. However, it has been around since Small K was born and hadn't been washed. Meaning to say, 3 years of dirt has been accumulated! I am pretty sure there is a lot more which the naked eye cannot detect. The professionals at Pramwash dismantled the entire pram and ensured that each part is cleaned thoroughly.

The products used are all child friendly. Before they do any cleaning, a functionality check is done to make sure the pram in good working condition. To start off, they remove the fabric frame, vacuum and soak the products for stain removal. The chassis is then given a wipe down. The fabric will be steamed clean and heat-dried. Finally the product will be reassembled and returned to the client.

A significant difference was noted for our carseat. We are guilty of eating in the car. You see, very often, the kids are so slow in eating their breakfast such that we have to allow them to eat in the car. And with that, we are prone to "accidents". The brown stain was made by Small K who sat on an egg chocolate given to him for Easter. We didn't realise the source till almost a week later! *horrors! Thankfully the ants did not come! I tried using wet wipes and Febreze to clean off the stain but to no avail. To make myself feel a little more at ease, I sprayed on some disinfectant. Thereafter, I left it as it was. Thanks to Pramwash, my carseat is now as good as new! I love how attentive they were to details even like delivery. A message was sent to me about the delivery and collection and a follow up from the staff was also made. There was a slight hiccup with the courier company which didn't dare take our carseat initially as no instructions were given to him (he claimed) but that was quickly rectified with a text to Pramwash. 

Perhaps you might be asking:: this doesn't solve my problem of having no carseat for almost a week. Well, fret not, their sister company, PramShare is a rental specialist which will be able to help you if you do not have a spare carseat. Smart or what?

"Babies are messy by nature, cleaning up their messes is just part of growing up," said Kenneth Tan, Founder and Owner of PramWash. "However, an unfortunate side effect from their messes can be dangerous health situations that make raising children even more difficult for parents. That's where PramWash steps in."

For you, my readers, 

DISCOUNT CODE

Enjoy 15% off all services excluding delivery.

Apply the code: JANICEWONG15%OFF, valid till 31 October 2017. 

What are you waiting for? Give your babies a clean seat to sit on!

Disclaimer: I was given a free wash for a pram and carseat for the purpose of this review. No additional monetary compensation was received. All opinions expressed are entirely my own and written according to my experience in using the products/ services.

Small K and Febrile Seizure

2016 really hasn't been looking too good. As much as I try to keep to my resolution of celebrating every victory each day no matter how small they are, there was really nothing much to cheer about over the weekend. 

Small K had been having the runs since Monday and after administering some diarrhoea meds, it still did not alleviate the problem. Then fever kicked in. But after a day, it subsided and I dismissed it as one of those "growing up" stages. The old folks always say that some fevers are a sign that the kid is going to grow taller. The fever however came back again on Friday and we decided to consult a paediatrician. Our regular PD was on leave and according to the one who was sitting in (a GP), he said that it was a case of stomach flu. That morning, Small K's fever was hovering around 37.4 degrees. That, to me was no fever. Everything went pretty fine throughout the day as his temperature was still at a manageable 38.5 degrees celsius when I was home to check on him at 6pm. The hubs and I decided to head out for dinner but at 7pm we received a call that his temperature escalated to 40.4 degrees and his eyeballs were rolling upwards (翻白眼). My throat constricted and my chest tightened. He was also shaking and the ever-chill hubs told my Mil that the boy was just feeling cold and shivering since he wasn't displaying stiffness. Hubs immediately asked our family members to administer Ibuprofen. However, I knew that deep down the hubs was like ants in a hot pan. We dashed out of the restaurant as if we had just robbed a bank and drove like an F1 driver to get the boy to the hospital. Thankfully we had yet to order our dinner. 

Along the way, I was googling on Febrile Seizure which I had previously read up on just to equip myself with information and was praying fervently that it wasn't a seizure that the boy just had. When  we arrived, I carried the limp boy who was burning like fire. Again, we zipped to the nearest hospital like Schumacher only to be greeted with a sign at the Emergency ward saying that the waiting time was estimated to be 2hours! 2HOURS? Are you mad! The husband had refused to go to the public hospital, KKH and opted for a private hospital because he didn't want to wait. I kicked up a fuss and got the boy checked in less than 10minutes. I was correct. It was Febrile Seizure. 

What is Febrile Seizure?

Febrile seizures are convulsions that occur in young children ages between 6 months to about 5 years old. The risk usually peaks during the second year of life. It is commonly accompanied with fever, cold or a ear infection. There are also some which are caused by post-immunisation. The fever, not the immunisation causes the seizure. In some cases, the child may not even have fever at the time of seizure but develop one a few hours later. About 40 percent of children who experience one febrile seizure will have a recurrence. Thanks a lot. Children at highest risk of recurrence are 

1. Those who had it younger than 18 months (Phew, we are 20mo!)
2. A family history of febrile seizures (I was just told by the mil that her whole kampong had it and that the hubs had two episodes when young. Thanks a lot of that late information! Why is Small K inheriting all the bad stuff from that side of the fam?)
3. A febrile seizure as the first sign of an illness
4. a relatively low temperature increases with their first seizure (ours was a pretty sudden spike so I guess that makes us lower risk?)

Fortunately, I was told that they are usually harmless and typically don't indicate an ongoing problem.  Simple seizures don't cause brain damage, mental retardation or learning disabilities. Febrile seizures also does not indicate epilepsy. If the seizure recur within 24hours, then, there is an increased risk of probably 10%. 

However, to be safe, we had Small K admitted in hospital for a check. Before diagnosing that it is a Febrile seizure, some doctors will perform tests to make sure it is not an underlying problem. For instance, meningitis, which is an infection of the membranes surround the brain. If a doctor suspects that, a spinal tap may be needed to check for signs of the infection in the cerebrospinal fluid. Say WHAT? It is the fluid surrounding the brain and spinal cord. Thankfully, we were spared. If there has been sever diarrhoea or vomitting, dehydration could be responsible for seizures. Likely to be our case as Small K hates taking in fluids except milk and soups. Our doctor performed a urine test to ensure that it wasn't UTI. Getting a urine sample was such a challenge! Eventually, a blood test was performed and results showed presence of bacteria which was the cause of his infection. White spots were also seen in his throat. I was initially worried that it was due to the fact that I was exposed to a student who had HFMD. I saw the kid 10 days after her symptoms and the irresponsible mother didn't want to confirm that it was HFMD and insisted that the child was well as she had returned to school. Long story short, it isn't HFMD for Small K's case. Thank God!

The symptoms

• Severe shaking or tightening of muscles
• jerking of arms and legs
• vomitting
• extreme sleepiness
• loss of consciousness
• breathing problems
• eyeballs rolling up

For Small K's case, he had his eyeballs rolled up and was unresponsive for a few minutes. That was enough to freak the family out. I am sure if I was present, I would have gone insane!

What to do during a Febrile Seizure?

1. Place him or her on a safe surface on his side, keeping the face to the side and lower arm under the head. This is to prevent the child from inhaling vomit if vomiting occurs.
2. If your child has anything in his mouth, remove it! Don't put anything in the child's mouth during a seizure! The old folks believe in putting a metal spoon in them for fear that they will bite their tongue. But experts urge not to do that as the teeth will be damaged. 
3. Take not of how long the episode was. Seek emergency care for seizure that lasts more than 10 minutes.
4. Stay calm. That is the most important thing though it is also the toughest thing to do!

The 3 days spent shuttling up and down to the hospital was beyond arduous. It had rendered me utterly exhausted. The sick Small K wanted mommy. The sticky Big K also wanted mommy. Who doesn't? As reluctant as I was, I had to bring along Big K to the hospital and await the MIL to come over to trick her home. Small K was beaming when the sister was around and the moment she left, he started throwing huge tantrums and was crying incessantly. He kept demanding to go "gai gai" i.e. take a walk. The Terrible twos seemed to be hitting us earlier than we know. On a few occasions, the boy was rolling on the floor! I don't recall Big K being this bad at two but then again, the post pregnancy brain could have caused me to wipe out unpleasant thoughts. I walked up and down the corridor to get him to sleep and was successful but the moment I entered the room and put him down, he wakes up screaming. I was extremely apologetic to the 6yo patient lying next to us. However, the boy was a superb sleeper and was able to nap for 3hours despite all the commotion. I tried carrying  Small K to sleep too but after 20minutes, he awoke. My back was breaking from all the carrying. The hubs did his part by doing the night shift while I headed home to get Big K to sleep. Right after she's sound asleep, I got stuff packed and headed back to the hospital again at midnight. Even though I was at home, I was worried. Worried that his temperature would go up again. Worried that he would be difficult and the hub would lose control and throw him down the window. Wild thoughts ran through my mind. The next day, I was once again entertaining both children in the hospital as the hub went home for a quick shower and a quick eye shut. Thankfully, the girl was very cooperative and did her Tangrams whilst I made her brother sleep. He slept and every 30mins I checked on him. No nurse came in to take his temperature. I am paying private fees and yet getting such service. Finally during the last stretch of his nap, I checked and felt that he was burning up. I carried him and thought that it could perhaps be due to my cold hands. Instinctively, I called for the nurse who went into a frenzy upon checking that his temperature was 40.4degrees celsius! Immediately, suppository was administered. The poor boy was screaming his lungs out. So because of this episode, we had to stay another night. This time, the hubs was trying to persuade Me to stay over. As much as I love the boy, I didn't think I was strong enough mentally and physically to weather the night hence gave a valid excuse that Big K wouldn't sleep if I wasn't around. Day 3, we woke up early and waited for the doctor's advice. Finally! He gave us the green light to be discharged! YIPEE! We have to be on antibiotics for his bad throat and monitor any fevers closely. But at least back home, we have more help. 

So, this is the story of Small K's first and hopefully last episode of Febrile Seizure! 

Big K turns 4 (Part 1 & 2)

So. Not too long ago, I was pregnant. Not too long ago, a little girl, affectionately known as Big K was born. And, not too long ago, she turned four! yup, just like that!

This year is a little tricky coz I don't have my own nest to throw a party even if I want to. Staying with the in-laws is also a tricky affair when it comes to decorating the place to make the little one feel special (actually it's to satisfy my crazy yearn to craft). It's even trickier when the whole place is cluttered with boxes. I decided. It's depressing enough to be in such a situation! Hence, I took a wall an planned to do a small deco. I am very particular when it comes to aesthetics and even though it was an extremely small space which I'm doing up, I make sure I plan. I bought the materials in advance and reused my letterings. Got in some felt snowflakes as well to add in to the mood. And Tadah! A Photo Booth! These days whenever I ask the kids for a photo, they'll automatically stand against the wall. 

I didn't have to ask what Big K wanted as a theme for her birthday. I knew. Every year, the theme is dictated by yours truly. Tiger Mom eh? With all the hype over Elsa, it was clear she wanted a Frozen- themed party. She loves Elsa but thankfully not to the extent of wanting every single thing around her to be Elsa. Phew. I ordered her cakes pretty late this time but was very glad to have found two bakers who did a good job with the cakes. 

I bought her this dress a month before and had to hide it from her. She adores it so much, she insist on wearing it almost every time we go out!

Part One of our birthday marathon. The first cake we had for celebration with the family was an ombre cake from The Cake Shop. Now, I did say that the cake was good, no doubts about it. They had real strawberries in it and the old folks commented that it wasn't too sweet. Yay! I scored. But what made me extremely upset was that I had to go all the way to Admiralty to collect on the morning of the celebration! (PS: I live in the East just so you know) You see, after confirming the order, I was not asked what time I would like to collect. Ok, my fault too for not informing. I am usually quite on top of such things but lately, too much is happening. That said, shouldn't the onus be not the seller rather the buyer? I mean, it's service right to at least inform the collection hours no? I happily assumed that I could collect it from the Funan branch during opening hours. They open their doors at 10am and I thought, Perfect. Coz celebrations was at 11am. The day before, I dropped them an email to confirm my collection and informed them that I'll be collecting at 10am. Alas, at 4pm that day, an email stating that the earliest I could collect from Funan was 11am came in. You could imagine my horror! Plus, I only managed to read that mail at about 6pm. After which I immediately called them up for help. They had my number, so why didn't they call me direct? I told them my function would be starting at 11am and hence I will collect at 10am. Which part of my email did they not comprehend? The event was the next day so things were kind of urgent isn't it? So, long story short, nothing could be done. I had to go down to their production house  at Admiralty, which opens at 830am, to collect. I was late for the function as a result as after collecting the cake, I had to run other errands as well. 

Our party packs. I'm quite anal when it comes to how things look and what went in. I really do not like junk and tacky packaging. I started strategising a month before and slowly got on to making the bags. I got the characters printed and cut. The paper bags were bought from Daiso. The names were also painstakingly cut out from self adhesive felt gotten from Daiso. I enlisted Big K's help on pasting the the pictures and the foam snow flakes as well as the names of her classmates. Through this activity, Big K was able to learn the spelling of her friend's name. Killing two birds with one stone! 

This snowflake cookie was one of the items in our party pack which was in line with the theme. Others include an art and craft set to make a Xmas Tree ornament ball, a sewing kit with characters like reindeer and snowman as well as a kit which "grows" snow. Pardon the screenshot. Am too lazy to do something about it!

Part 2 of the celebrations was in school. Yup, I had to order ANOTHER cake. This time, I got it from Megan's Cuppies. This, is worth a mention. It was a pullout number cake! Something I've always wanted! In case you don't know, to do a number cake, most bakeries would need a substantial weightage. With the number of little guests we have, I often have a problem. So I was delighted when Eliz from Megan's Cuppies said she could do one with 18 cupcakes! Woohoo!! The snowflake cookies and the cupcakes were both from this talented baker. You can "like" her on Facebook here.

It's really a party to remember albeit a small one. Kids these days are so lucky! All I got when I was young was a pandan cake from Bengawan Solo!

How to survive a hospital stay with a toddler

The last two months has been crazy. And that's really an understatement. What with the first big shift and Small K not adjusting well in his new environment. He has been screaming bloody murder for a month at night. We've tried to pinpoint the cause but to no avail. He isn't overstimulated, he isn't warm. Granted we are all now living in clutter due to the boxes pending the next move, everything is kept in clean condition and neatly arranged (well at least I try to). It probably was about his wonder week but week turned into weeks which got me wondering. It was really baffling. It was like he was afraid to sleep. Scared to be placed down on his bed. Then someone reminded me about fengshui and I realised that his bed position is in the "coffin position" i.e.. his feet is pointing directly to the door! GASP! Why didn't I think of Fengshui?! So i shifted the bed the very next day, but for the next two nights, things didn't improve. He was still screaming bloody murder every 15 to 30minutes. Then I figured, perhaps it is because the hubs isn't in town hence the little one misses him. So I brought him into my room and co-slept with both Big and Small K. Seriously not the most ideal plan but I can't be in two rooms all at once. However, that didn't alleviate the matter either. He would whine and I'd jump right up to calm him down to the best I could otherwise, the uproar would cause Big K to wake up and then I would have to mambo jumbo with the both. Thankfully, Big K was really corporative and understanding. She tried her best to get back to sleep on her own. At times she would get really irritated but a bottle of milk and she'll be a happy trooper once again. In our old place, she didn't have to wake up for a dream feed, but these days, i guess with so much happening, she is back to it again. I didn't even want to negotiate with her as I'm simply too exhausted for it. That said, it's not always so smooth sailing. A lot of cajoling and screaming (on my end) involved. At its peak, I wasn't sleeping for 2 whole days! That's 48hours! Geez!! that probably happened only when I had tons of presentations to handle during my university days! Then, I decided that it was time for some divine intervention and voila, he is sleeping a little better now. Still whining a little in his sleep but much much better.

So, ok, I thought things should be a little better now. #Soleparenting ain't that bad right? I can handle a mere sleep issue. The hubs has been away off and on for  a month and I thought I'm doing a great job holding up. But Alas! Just when all was calm, the storm brewed again! Big K was down with fever last Thursday. She came home vomitting and looking awful. However, after a night's rest, she was all good again and because Friday was Children's day, I thought since there wasn't anymore fever, it would be nice to go to school for celebration. That evening when she got home, she was 38.5 degrees celsius! So I oiled her furiously with peppermint oil and thieves and managed to bring her fever down. She was good the whole of Saturday and Sunday morning hence, again, I decided to allow her to go for a friend's birthday party. We went, she enjoyed herself tremendously and she came home at 39 degrees celsius! Ahhhhh...Someone just stab me please!! It's as if i should be getting Bad mother of the year! So the next day we visited the paediatrician who said that her lungs seem clear but has a throat infection. True enough she was coughing a little. We were given a course of medicine which included antibiotics but no improvement. Her fever would subside for a day or two, and it'd be back again. Her cough was worse. She was coughing very badly I felt so pain. Heartbreaking I tell you. So I wanted to go back for a review but our regular paediatrician was on leave. Hence I brought Big K to our family GP and guess what? He heard sounds in her lungs! We were immediately advised to go for an Xray and blood test at the hospital. 

So here we are. At the hospital . Since Friday. Whilst waiting for a room, I had to zoom back home to grab our stuff. I grabbed whatever that came to mind and within 15mins, I was lugging a huge sports duffel bag, a diaper bag and a toddler! The dishevelled me was really hoping that some help could come my way. Help did come. the next day, I requested my sister-in-law to stand in while I go off to work for 3hours. I needed to as much as it made me sound like bad mother. It is super peak at work and I have my responsibilities too. After work, i went back to grab a luggage of stuff again and zoomed back. Oh hang on. So what's wrong with Big K you asked? Pneumonia. Apparently she caught the mycoplasma bacteria and that caused her lungs to be filled with phlegm. Kids this age don't really know who to cough it out hence one thing led to another, she developed an infection of the lungs. 

Waiting to check in into our suite.

She was such a brave little darling! whilst the nurses and I tried acting like clowns to entertain her and divert her attention, she was a calm as a clam!

On the nebulizer. She had to do it 4 hourly which meant disrupted sleep. Hence night one was hellish as she was rudely awoken an shoved with antibiotics, thereafter, given the nebulizer. She struggled the whole time and I had to pin her down. Pained me when that happened.

All comfy on her very expensive bed. It's $560+ per night per room!

They found the mycoplasma bacteria in her lungs, causing the infection. This bacteria is everywhere so we really don't know how she caught it. It could also be due to the very bad haze the last couple of weeks.

It's really not easy to be alone in the hospital with an active toddler. yes, despite being ill, she's as hyper as ever. Every minute I've to think of something for her to do. Here are some stuff I brought along:

Movie date. Her favourite show of the moment which we had to split into two sessions to watch coz it was too tiring for both mommy and baby. We really enjoyed this as we've never caught a movie on the big screen before. 

I'm so glad that this bubba enjoys the puzzle more than the gadgets! I was surprised by the fact that she could do this puzzle. The last puzzle i did with her was a 6pcs! That was a long time ago.

I had to bring along my oily stash to help speed up her recovery

Being confined to a room was not easy and support was important. I was really thankful for a friend who came by to visit and help entertain Big K. She had loads of fun monkeying around.

ooooo...Look at the range which they are using! Crabtree & Evelyn! In my favourite range La Source. Now, all I need is a bathtub and their bath salt and it will be perfect!

The food provided was surprisingly not bad. There was also a Delifrance downstairs hence I didn't starve. 

Am really hoping that the little one will recover soon and we can all go back home. Honestly, this stay is quite a pleasant one coz it beats squeezing with 5 other people in an apartment together with tons of cartons. In addition, there's air condition 24/7 and I don't have to prepare any meals! I also don't have to wash dishes for 7 other people at 11pm! However, work still needs to be done and to find someone to assist with babysitting is a pain. It's peak season at work hence I can't just drop my work. I could but responsibility beckons as well. This made me feel terrible for it made me feel like I'm a terrible mother who only thinks of work. But in my line, no work = no money. Money isn't everything and nothing is more important that my baby's health, however, I will ensure that she's in good hands before I go off to work with a heavy heart. The burden is just so great in Singapore. Latest update: the paediatrician said if the phlegm starts to clear, we could potentially be discharged tomorrow. Yipee!