How I met your father

Dear Ks,

Before your father starts telling you a warped story that it was me who shamelessly lured him into being his girlfriend (then) and wife (now), let me set the story straight. 

Long, long ago, in a dilapidated school, where Chinese culture was prevalent, a boy and a girl met. I had never imagined myself being in such an environment. I mean, dilapidated is bad enough -- Think toilet doors not having sufficient lightings and its wooden doors not having a lock. Sanitary conditions were deploring. What's more, the place was infused with students speaking in Mandarin. Nothing against that. In fact, ultimately I am pleased with the outcome -- A1 for Chinese! I'm Chinese, but growing up in an all-English speaking environment meant that I would be rather awkward in this school. My grades could have gotten me a place in some other schools, but nooooooo.... I had to go against my parents' wishes and choose this school which was totally unknown to me. (Please don't do that to me, dear children. )Why? Not because I knew it would be the place where I will find the man of my dreams. But it was all in the name of peer pressure. You see, back then, we had to choose our schools before our PSLE results were announced. It was a gamble. I followed the pack blindly. But alas, most of my friends received better results and were posted to other schools. Also, unbeknownst to me, most of their first choices weren't this particular cheena school, but were another! *HORRORS. So children, my advice is, don't follow the crowd blindly. 

So I was thrown into a dark abyss. Having to swim in a sea of strangers wasn't easy. Back in Secondary 1, I was next to this class filled with Ah Bengs (aka gangsters). The bunch of rambunctious boys often created havoc along the corridor. I didn't quite bother but there were a few punks who were pretty notorious and that caught my attention. One of whom was you father, who wasn't from that class though. I was rather appalled by their behaviour at times. Anyway, the following year, we were streamed and I was in the top class. Your mother is smart, my dears. Lo and behold, the notorious one aka your father, was also in the same class as me! Shocking! Ok, fine. He is quite a smart one, kids. But it was then, that I realised that he was different from the rest of the boisterous boys. At least he wasn't just some empty vessel. He was very vocal and smart and had extremely good rapport with the teachers. During the year, we hardly interacted but got a little more acquainted during an interclass swimming competition which I forced him to join, just to make up the numbers. He wasn't any eye candy in terms of physique in case you are wondering. I was also in the same ECA (extra curricular activity) group as his buddy which made our connection a little more comfortable.

Following that, we were classmates for 2 years. All these while, I didn't have a great opinion of him. I felt that he was probably one of those rich spoilt brats as he was constantly chauffeured to school in his parents' Mercedes or BMW and was always sashaying down the aisle in his Armani or United Colours of Benetton bag, with his socks pulled high and hmm I can't quite recall but he might have one of those plastic combs with a long tail stuck on his back pocket! How annoying is that? During those two years, he constantly teased me and amused me with his antics. I found it irritating, yet strangely, fun. I think it was because of this, my profile went up a notch. All of a sudden, all eyes were on us! Even my best friend came forth to ask if something was going on between us! No way! I didn't even entertain such thoughts because seriously, he was a menace. Once, when I was taking my siesta, he called to date me out for a movie. He caught me in the middle of a lovely dream and that put me in a foul mood. I hung the phone up rudely. Thinking that I was simply trying to be cautious/ worried that I was the only girl around/ trying to act coy, he got his buddy to make a second call and I was told that a girlfriend of mine was coming along! Ahhhh...that would have been a great tactic save for the fact that The girlfriend was in Malaysia then!

So things didn't take off. We went to our Junior Colleges respectively. On the first day of school, my eyes actually lit up and heart skipped a beat for a moment when his name was called out during the attendance taking. His name wasn't a common one hence it had to be HIM! I looked around the sea of uniforms but saw no sign of him. Disappointment sank in the pit of my stomach as here I am, once again, alone in a new environment. Nevertheless, life went on. We both got attached shortly after but they were just puppy loves. 

Fast forward, we lost contact for those two years but somehow got reconnected during my university days over the now defunct ICQ! Oh-oh! It was a messaging platform online, similar to watsapp or Facebook if you even have that in your era by the time you decide to read this space. He was in the army and probably was bored, hence would be online most nights. Me, being a night owl too (and bored) would also be online. We started chatting and one day, he asked if I wanted to go see some car show with him. Hmm...why not? Interesting to see if this Ah beng has changed. The last I heard, he had long hair during JC! So before we went to check out some fast wheels, we had a simple dinner at Far East Shopping centre and I was totally disturbed by his ungentlemaness, if there's even such a word. He did not offer to pay for the meal! Mind you, it was only a plate of curry rice so I am pretty sure his meagre salary from the army would cover it! So that meetup didn't go too great. 

That's Me, in the middle in case you can't recognise! We were are the airport sending his buddy (seated first on the left in the first row)

Shortly after, his buddy left for the States. It was a very late night flight and I joined him and a bunch of others in sending this buddy off. He offered to send me home that night. I think it was then that my opinion of him started to get a tad better for some strange reason. Maybe this spark was already in me, waiting to be rekindled. It was a love-hate relationship. I'm not sure. Love is quite a strange thing as you will learn. Each day, I would look forward to that "Oh-oh" and we would sometimes meet up for supper. Several a times, when I was staying late in school to study, he would even drop by my university to bring me out for supper. Mind you, he stayed in the east and I studied in the west! That's quite a journey! Even his mom started telling the kampong that something was fishy. Coincidentally, one of my seniors was his cousin! I only knew it when one night, they saw and acknowledged each other! The world just got smaller didn't it? 

Things progressed nicely and his charisma outshone his menacing ways. Yes, he still irritates me. So we weren't a couple until one fine night............

4th September 1998: He asked me out for a movie -- Blade. It was the most unromantic, stupidest show ever. I guess this nature of him tagged along over the years. It was some superhero show staring Wesley Snipes. Tell me about Batman or Superman, I'll probably appreciate. But Blade? huh? Who? And the venue was worse! It was at SHAW along Beach Road. He claimed that it was easier to get tickets over there. Well, OF COZ! the place was so shabby. I could have sworn it was his plot in getting me to fly into his arms and jump upon seeing a cockroach! ok, so, I couldn't quite remember the plot, but during the show, I felt that our arms kept nudging each other. There was a connection and it was a nice electrifying feeling. Then, while we walked out of the cinema, in pitch darkness, our fingers interlocked slowly. Just like that. The strange bit was, when we later bummed into one of our mutual friends right outside the theatre, our hands immediately loosened! It's as if we did something wrong! That night, we were out meeting a friend for supper and sensing that something was amiss, that friend asked if we were "going steady" gosh..is there even some new lingo the youngsters use these days? Steady means you are in a stable relationship with someone. That person may otherwise be known as your "stead". Anyhoots, we denied almost simultaneously. To me, it was probably a natural reaction as the whole world knew I was irritated by his mannerisms and now, all of a sudden, he was my Boyfriend? haha..It took me a while, quite a while, for the whole thing to sink in. But I must say, it felt good. Sweet dreams every night. I knew i could count on him like if I got myself drunk at some pub. In fact, there was once, a bunch of classmates and I were at a bash and I had a drop too much. I knew I was going to be a goner that night. So, I brought my girlfriend to a corner in the toilet, sat on top of a bin and instructed for her to call my boyfriend (your father). His number was deeply etched in my memory even though I was already way tipsy. The entire episode was later related to me by my gf who couldn't believe how coherent I was when rattling his mobile number. I guess, he must be the one then. :P. PS: Children, please don't be dead drunk or for that matter, get yourself into such situations as it can be really dangerous.

From that day, we called each other every night. Or rather, he, called me from camp every night. The poor dude had to queue up for the public phone until shortly after, he got a mobile phone. We went on several trips with friends and got to know each other even better. Children, please note that Mama here will only allow you to go overseas with your boyfriend/ girlfriend if it is in a big group! He used to be an Ah beng, but has mellowed down tremendously. His wits and humour makes me love him more and more each day. Our opposing character brought us closer. I am a hopeless romantic, living in fantasy while he is a practical person who doesn't give a hoot about your fantasies. Initially, I didn't take well to his sarcasms which he thought was humorous, but after a while, I grew to be just as sarcastic. 

Us. ROMed on 14 October 2006

Living up to our Ah Beng and erm Ah Lian name

Us. Married. 14 October 2007. Photos taken at the place where we met. I told you it was rich in Chinese culture! It was a truly memorable session to be taking our wedding shots at the school with a bunch of brothers and sisters who were mostly from the school as well.

It is a journey nothing short of amazing thus far with this man whom I call my husband since October 14, 2006. There were no fireworks kindof proposals from your father in case you are wondering because, given his nature, he'd rather take the more practical approach which was "Shall we go get a HDB"...-_-. He did, however try to give me a proper surprise proposal. He had to get his friend to give him bits of ideas and courage but the whole surprise was killed as he was discussing with the friend what to do when I was next to him! Yes, that's your father. Not very smart in the romance department. I have known him for 24years and counting and you could say that he is my bbff (bestest best friend forever). I am able to be me in front of him. Unpretentious and totally idiotic. We would bicker a lot but would always find a way to resolve the problem. He is often saying that I am the worm in his stomach. I can't rely on his for aesthetics, but I certainly can rely on him when I am in trouble or down. I will never forget the time he had dropped his work the moment he touched down in a foreign land, miles away and flew back on a 20hr flight the moment he heard that we lost the sibling you never met. I appreciate this man, your father, for the times he has been there for me. He has made several sacrifices and gives in to me frequently and for that, I thank him.

First there were three.....

Now, there are four.

Really blessed to have such a gorgeous family!

He has played a big part in giving me two beautiful children and for that, I thank him too (shhh, don't tell him, lest he gets swollen headed again). My dear Ks, I hope that you will each find the partner of your dreams and that he/ she will be someone whom you could confide in and rely on. Someone whom you can trust your life with. Someone who will love you for who you are and will love your parents of coz! Someone who is romantic yet sincere; Someone who is witty and not too irritating; Someone you love. But darlings, please don't let this day come too soon. Not when you are still in Secondary School ok?!

Love,

Mama

This post is part of the "How I met your father" blog train hosted by The Chill Mom. Join me and fellow mommy bloggers as we turn back time and get all nostalgic!

Next up, we have super momma, May from A Million Little Echoes:

"First of May marks their 9th wedding anniversary. Meyer and May were each other's first love and she was only 16 when they became an item. Fast forward 18 years later, they are now parents to two little imps. How did their mother meet their father? Find out more at A Million Little Echoes next!"

Bun in the oven

Dear Friends, 

 

I've a very important announcement to make. This might come as a surprise to you. It's not easy to go through the nauseousness and sleepless nights again. Plus, with two kids already...but i'm gonna make it happen. Presenting..... my latest fruit of "labour", www.rhapnroll.blogspot.sg!

It's been more than 10 months of incubation, procrastination, nourishment and hard work. This is my 3rd baby and it's safely delivered via technological birth.

Suspense suspense... thx for all the congratulatory notes/ texts but I'm not pregnant again la guys! hahaha The lil man at hm is only 2mths+ n the old man, well, he's not even in SG half the time! I would be either crazy/ super efficient at manufacturing babies if this were to be true!

Why, u might ask?
I love torturing myself and making myself busier as if there hasn't been enough on my plate. I love crafting and it keeps me sane to be doing something totally unrelated to parenting. No seriously, it is to fund my kids' education. So on behalf of my two beautiful children, I thank you!

It would be lovely and i'll deeply appreciate if you could help support by LIKING and SHARING my FB page over at https://www.facebook.com/rhapnroll. Spread the rhapsody to your relatives and mommy friends! Please take your time to browse through my humble shop (www.rhapnroll.blogspot.sg) and start creating enduring memories by ordering from me TODAY or at least help spread the news to your friends before i unfriend you! (haha ok, kidding!)

xoxo

 

 

Week 36: happy mother's day

N so it's the yearly overrated day of the year once again -- Mother's Day.  Oh don't get me wrong. I'm a mummy n would love to be showered with gifts, recognition and attention but shouldn't this be done on a daily basis?  I mean we have to clean shit for the kid(s), cook,  do chores (unless u r one of those lucky ones who has help at home) 24/7 so why do we get such recognition only on the second Sunday of May? Well, "fortunately" the hub isn't quite into such things. Over the last 3 yrs, i've learnt not to hold my expectations too high. Such an eventful day would be grossly disappointing should I hope for even the smallest initiative. Birthdays,  anniversaries,  Mother's or Father's day alike, at the very best he will just humour me with a meal at my suggestion. It was a little better during courtship days. Even then, my first bouquet of flowers came only after 6 years and it made such an impact, his friends cheered for me! Now that we are married, it's worse. I guess a marriage invariably shifts the focus of relationships. This year was no exception. Wish there was,  but it's merely my wishful thinking. But all hope's not gone,  I hinted for a mother's day pressie cum push gift.  His reply however was: u aren't gonna push so why need a push gift?  Grrr.. but I guess being a tech enthusiast, he caved in and got me this! 

Ok, the frivolous cover was bought by me, but the phone was through his pocket! A Samsung Note 3 which by the way is a gem when it comes to blogging coz at least i don't have to widen the screen to read or edit something! With increased screen size, I'm more likely to do stuff with the phone. Hmm a sign of "lao hua"? ie long sightedness? 

Before you jump to any conclusion, this feast wasn't set up for little old me. Nope, i'm just a guest who was lucky enough to sit in. The SIL and hub decided to do a sukiyaki shabu shabu feast for the mom. Great daughter. Hope my Lil K grows up to be this filial and our relationship won't be as taunting as mine and Empress Dowager's. 

So the rest of Mother's Day was uneventful. No adorable handmade crafts or drawings coz the Lil one didn't attend school on Friday. The day was simply peppered with tantrums and hours of potty trainings with unsatisfied demands. However, as I sit here now in the dead silence of the night, I begin to realise that the gift of motherhood is a sacred one. One of giving and not expecting much in return.

Major Meltdown.

Many people would adore their moms. Not me. Since young, we've never had the best relationship. She drove (still drives) me up the wall by screaming at the top of her voice such that every neighbour (upstairs or downstairs) would know us as the notorious pair. Very often, I felt ashamed as a kid. When I got older, things did not improve. She thinks I'm a social butterfly by staying out late at night and locked me out several times. Granted, she's concern of my safety but you know how those project datelines at university can keep you up till the wee hours right? She throws sissy fits when me or dad call in at the last minute saying that we can't come home for dinner. When i confided in Dad, his reply was: Sorry darling, you and her are connected by blood. Me and her only by paper. Good luck. Yup. their marriage is often on the rocks. It is true that it takes two hands to clap but honestly, the Empress Dowager should really reflect.

Anyhowz, something rather touching happened the day after my birthday. The Empress dropped me a text asking if I wanted her to send Lil K home straight after school, feed her and make her sleep instead of going over to the in-laws since her Highness didn't have work that day. OF COZ I WOULD LOVE THAT! And this couldn't be more timely coz my friends and I were intending to celebrate my belated birthday. It was a really great offer as I was just lamenting to my friends that I have a curfew to meet should the MIL be the one looking after Lil K. These days, the hub has been travelling oh so frequent (5 trips since Chinese New Year) that every day after work, it's straight home. Not that I would like to wander around at 9pm, but that meant driving like a mad F1 racer and not being even to pack a decent dinner for myself. Dinner is often at 11pm after I've put the little one to sleep and give myself a good shower. Yup. No one really bothers whether I have eaten or not. Gaining sympathy on FB by posting my instant noodle photos at 11pm doesn't make things better either. I have been feeling so unloved. No good soup from anyone. A far cry from when I had Lil K. Even when I was very ill, no one fussed over me. I was all alone i feel. Until this message from the Empress. Touched me to tears. I got so emo i cried all the way home whilst driving. It's been hell long since I had a good sit down dinner with friends without the need to rush home. I feel jaded. Not coz i don't like taking care of my child, but seriously, I need a breather too. Especially since there's more to come in the next couple of months. It's so easy for the Daddy to simply pack and fly and occasionally drop me a watsapp message to say he misses us all. But that's not enough. This birthday, there were wishes from him, but no presents. This Vday, he arrived back in Sg in the morning only to go to Japan at midnight. Meanwhile, life went on n we had dinner with his family as it was also the 15th day of the lunar new year. It's not that I'm so into such commercial celebrations. Honestly i believe that everyday can be Valentine's day if we treasure and show appreciation. But I feel that lacking at times. When he is home, he's either on his phone playing some game which he claims is highly intellectual (but to me it's somekind of tamagochi), or he'll be out with his friends having tea. Something which I can't do as and when I like. Honestly, it's not that I need or want to be out at unearthly hours...trust me, i'm past that stage. I only need some time for myself. A facial, a pedicure or simply zoning out. 

I'm tired. really tired. Jaded. Really jaded. Drained. Flat. Knackered. Everyday, I'll be getting the lil one ready for school. Prior to that, I'll have to ensure there's lunch and entertainment for her. By entertainment I don't simply mean ipads or dvds -- all of which I don't advocate unless i'm really desperate. I've shared this aspect with the hubs and his reply is that I'm simply obsessed. How can I not be? Occupational hazard i think not. It's more to keep my sanity. Seeing the lil one engage in the activity i've panned out for her makes me happy and it's really a form of achievement. She is kept entertained for a bit and I, on the others hand can get some chores done. Am very encouraged but these days, with a bun in the oven, something simple which could take just 5 minutes for an ordinary person would take me half an hour. And with time not on my end, I'm trying deliriously to think of what are the ways to stock up on entertainment for Lil K when the time comes. I told myself, I must not let her feel neglected. 

A matter of managing expectations i think. And today, i did not do it all that well. Empress Dowager was here as  usual on a Monday. I expected her to feed, bathe and get Lil K ready by a certain time without me breathing down her neck and babysitting them. A simple task like bathing and she needs me to "escort" lil K into the toilet else. She refuses to go in coz she simply dislikes her Ah Ma...to after-bath when mom realized she did not prepare all of Lil K's oils and powder etc and will be lamenting on how bad a mommy I am coz I didn't prepare it for her. Genius. Pure genius. And I ended up being a mother and a servant to them all at once. And I probably expected too much from the hubs. He just touched down that very morning. Probably very jet lag. It's his off day and normally it's me who sends Lil K to school anyway. So he probably thinks having lunch with friends is legit...though i would very much love for him to dine with us, afterall, we haven't had a meal together as a family for weeks. Maybe i expected too much from a man coz afterall, men will always put themselves before others as oppose to women. Or so I feel. In the end, I simply broke down in the toilet. It was 1145am. Lil K hasn't showered and we haven't taken our lunch. We have a schedule to run everyday and that was to leave home by 1230/1245pm max. This day, I know I'm screwed. Lighten up you say? How? When I know I've to move at my daughter's pace? She's all princessy when it comes to getting ready. Slow and steady you say? But, I've to rush off to work the moment I drop her off. Relax, you say? It's fine to be late for work right? Not quite, coz that would mean I'll end work much later and have to head home at breakneck speed, often without dinner, to tuck Lil K into bed coz apparently, the MIL has been complaining that K refuses to be put to bed by her now and would cry or talk incessantly or insist on going downstairs to "wait for mama". She used to be doing such a great job with K until much recently when I've been getting bad vibes. With such instances, how can I not be an F1 driver? With all this influx of emotions, I couldn't handle and a lone tear slipped from my eyes unguarded. This escalated to more tears. I cupped my face in my hands but i was unable to hide the woebegone expression that had invaded me.  My spirits was really at an all-time low. All the bottled up feelings gushed out all at once. Yet, when the hubs asked me what's happening, the words lingered at the tip of my tongue but I failed to verbalise it. Shortly, he probably managed to piece some of my incoherent words together and figured he needed to take some initiative by rushing Empress Dowager (who was oblivious to the time) and feeding Lil K before he headed off for impromptu lunch with friends. I felt a little more comforted but yet, why do I have to voice out my discontentment through such measures? Why can't these people have some sense of urgency or initiation?

All these are certainly unhealthy. It's causing me insomnia too. I need to learn to manage such meltdowns and somehow the emotional hormones are raging furiously these days.  It's tough but tougher times are ahead I'm sure.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.

Eleanor Roosevelt

My special Valentine's Day at A for Arbite

The hubs has been travelling a whole lot since the beginning of 2014. Ok, to be fair, since CNY. It has been his 4th trip thus far i think and the most recent one saw him packing up for KL for a week and calling up on Thursday to say he's arriving back on Friday but leaving at midnight again for Japan! I've a stewardess as a husband! Geez!

So he has missed Vday What's new. In fact, even if he's around, he doesn't shower me with extra love or surprises. He doesn't give chocolates (thank goodness I would rather have ba kwa over sweet stuff now). He doesn't buy me flowers. Think to date I've only received 2 or 3 bouquets from him, including the one used for our wedding! Well, in all honesty, I'm not too big on flowers. Though it'd be really nice to receive my favourite blue roses, it's really quite silly to spend that kind of money on a day of commercial exploitation. So i said," My dear, you are DARN LUCKY!"...his reply, " that's what makes our vday so special!". -_-. Indeed, it was really special. This year's Valentine's day coincided with the last day of the Lunar New Year. Thus we went over to his granny's place to have dinner with his extended family. Mind u, there weren't big fish and abalone this time. It was their traditional "thunder tea rice" ie. 雷茶. Essentially, thund.er tea rice is about herbs, vegetables, tofu and more vegetables. Yup, it's vegetarian! It is low fat, low cholesterol thus ideal if you are detoxing or doing some kind of weight management. All of which I was not! In fact, again, I would rather MEAT anytime right now. But the extended family precedes our lovey dovey time, if any. Almost immediately after dinner, we left coz Lil K was tired and restless. Headed home, made her sleep. He packed and left. Yup, that pretty sums up my Vday.

The mood wasn't dampened just because the hubs wasn't in town. In fact, i was determined to make things fun for lil K and I. So we headed to A for Arbite at Aliwah Street. 

"Arbite" is actually "work" in german. In fact, their philosophy is Work Hard, Live Well. Something which I hope to instill in my dictionary as well. I'm still working on it. Anyhoots, the place is creatively decorated with a big chalkboard which features stuff that aren't on the menu and the whole ambiance resembles that of a school. Well almost. It is nicely peppered with lego bricks at its counter and the nicest bit, they provide a jar of Lego and stacker toys for the lil one to play while mommy chills! How nice is that! Only problem, some of the Lego bricks were previously glued together, thus wasn't stacking really well. Nevertheless, Lil K had fun!

This really entertained her for long! hmm wonder why she can't sit still to play whilst at home.

Truffle Fries but can't quite taste quality Truffles

My Egg Benedict

The bff's French Toast. Really pwetty!

Kid's Meal. Quite a good portion but pity Lil K only managed to finish the eggs and sausage and a wee bit of bread. Good by my standards.

There was an Aliwah Arts Centre next door but it wasn't the usual centre filled with exhibitions. instead, there were several dance studios, so nothing interesting.

Between the bff and I, we had French Toast, Egg benedict, Truffle Fries and a kid's meal for Lil K. I wasn't too impressed coz the egg bene was too lemony for my liking and the truffle fries wasn't quite up to standard either. The bff found her French Toast to be pretty nice but after a while she got sick too..coz it was too sweet by her standards. Thereafter, we wanted desserts and ordered Edith Mess. But we waited and waited and probably coz of the lunch crowd, it took an awfully long time and after a 15mins wait, we cancelled the order coz Lil K was restless. Nevertheless, I was really glad how coorporative my lil bub was and how understanding that mommy can't carry her at the moment. She walks 99% of the time and repeats incessantly that mommy can only carry her when sitting. What a darling. I'm truly blessed.

Right after lunch, we headed back home, but alas, her nap didn't last more than half an hour! in other words, I got no rest as well. I was knackered max but somehow, the optimism in me that day kept me going and we managed to do some crafting and I got my mountain of laundry folded! Trust me, that's really a feat coz it has been there for 2 whole weeks! The excuse -- I was sick! Truly i was but since I'm better now, I had better buck up! Coz time is really running out! i didn't realise that I'm already in my 24th week and that we have approximately 3 more mths before things really gets into high gear. I've been taking things as it is, one day at a time and telling myself there's time. But now, i'm really getting a tad anxious. There are tons of stuff I've yet to organise and many friends I've yet to meet up. I really don't know how things are gonna be like with two kids and a travelling husband plus minimal family support. Not forgetting work. I've not even plan for child care -- something we are all assuming that the MIL will help in. I honestly don't wish to bother and rely on family coz lessons have been learnt from no. 1 but family is afterall the best. However, these few months have been excruciatingly painful with the lack of initiatives and lack of concern. It's really different having no. 1 and no. 2 and I'm quite puzzled. In the past, no matter how late I return home, at least once or thrice a week, i'll have a thermos of soup on my dining table waiting for me. And at times, a tupperware of dinner as well. Homecooked no less. However, since the beginning of this pregnancy, there had been none. No special soup for me let alone special delivery of the homecooked tingkat. Something's amiss but i can't quite point a finger to what. Last minute requests and let downs have been one too many and even the hub who is constantly depending on his mom has come to realise that all might not be as rosy. Perhaps it's due to the fact that her DD is not feeling at best with regards to health. N though nothing much she can do about it. Psychologically I suppose she's not up to looking after her DIL. And afterall, blood is thicker than water so which mom wouldn't be anxious over their kid? Oh well, I shall rant and move on! Afterall, I'm a fighter and believe I can do it!! errr Right?

BFF: Best Father Forever!

I've been swamped with stuff of late. With what? I can't quite point a finger to it. Been trying to organise my photos, but technology seems to hate me and the only time I can get close to the comp without distraction is when lil bub is asleep, which by then I'll be asleep too! Been trying to catch up with my drama serials too without distractions, but once again, that can only be done when lil bub is asleep. Been trying to catch up with my many posts I mean to blog and once again, that can only be done when lil bub is asleep! Been trying to catch up with the backlog of work, but each time i pick up my pen or books, lil K would want a piece of the action too, thus I have to do it after she sleeps. Been trying to catch up with the many readings which I've amassed over the months, but that seems impossible, coz by the time i do so, I'll fall asleep and once again, lil K wants a piece of the action and would snatch my book instead of reading her Dr Seus! That's a lot to do when lil bub is asleep and honestly, if i do them all, I won't have to sleep myself! Strangely, i shouldn't be all that busy given that I've taken a backseat for my work for the last month. But being a SAHM seems to render me breathless as well! Don't get me wrong. Having children is immensely rewarding but consuming and relentless and we sometimes get lost in Motherhood. Yup, i've still been trying to find time for MYSELF! It's been a tough 19months for me (not counting the pregnancy period when I was literally hugging the toilet bowl 24/7) and my adjustment to motherhood seems to pale in comparison to how effortlessly the hubs glided into the role of Dad. He takes everything in stride and ignores the lil bub when she wails and throws a tantrum. He can be oblivious when it's time for her nap and doze off to dreamland way before munchikins. He seems to always think that time and tide waits for him and things can always be done at the snap of the fingers. No need for planning. Don't get me wrong, he is a good Dad. Cleaning up the shit, doing all the menial chores at home and sacrificing his golf games/ tea sessions with his friends at times. These I appreciate. And today we celebrate. Actually, we shouldn't only be celebrating today. In fact, the hubs isn't a believer of such consumerist occasions. But still, the lil bub and I would like to give a big shoutout to the man who has been there for us in times of need. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Template from Amanda's Parties To Go

Today's Project: Q-Tip Painting

Lil k's favourite activity -- Dot Dot. but this time i replace it with stickers. Less messy!

My fingers may be small, but I can still wrap Daddy around them!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, DAD! YOU ARE AWESOME! ~ fm lil K

Iowa Couple Married for 72 Years Dies Holding Hands, 1 Hour Apart - ABC News

THIS IS JUST TOO TOUCHING!!! MUST READ!

By CHRISTINA NG

Oct. 19, 2011

1031562

A devoted Iowa couple married for 72 years died holding hands in the hospital last week, exactly one hour apart.

The passing reflected the nature of their marriage, where, "As a rule, everything was done together," said the couple's daughter Donna Sheets, 71.

Gordon Yeager, 94, and his wife Norma, 90, left their small town of State Center, Iowa, on Wednesday to go into town, but never made it. A car accident sent the couple to the emergency room and intensive care unit with broken bones and other injuries. But, even in the hospital, their concerns were each other.

"She was saying her chest hurt and what's wrong with Dad? Even laying there like that, she was worried about Dad," said the couple's son, Dennis Yeager, 52. "And his back was hurting and he was asking about Mom."

When it became clear that their conditions were not improving, the couple was moved into a room together in beds side-by-side where they could hold hands.

"They joined hands; his right hand, her left hand," Sheets said.

Gordon Yeager died at 3:38 p.m. He was no longer breathing, but the family was surprised by what his monitor showed.

"Someone in there said, 'Why, then, when we look at the monitor is the heart still beating?'" Sheets recalled. "The nurse said Dad was picking up Mom's heartbeat through Mom's hand."

"And we thought, 'Oh my gosh, Mom's heart is beating through him,'" Dennis Yeager said.

Norma Yeager died exactly an hour later.

"Dad used to say that a woman is always worth waiting for," Dennis Yeager said. "Dad waited an hour for her and held the door for her."

The inseparable couple was engaged and married within 12 hours in 1939 on the day Norma Yeager graduated from high school.

"She graduated from high school on May 26, 1939, at about 10 a.m., and at about 10 p.m. that night she was married to my dad at his sister's house," Sheets said.

The vibrant duo had a "very, very full life."

They worked as a team. They traveled together, they were in a bridge club together and they worked in a Chevrolet dealership, creamery and other businesses together.

"They always did everything together," Sheets said. "They weren't apart. They just weren't."

Dennis Yeager described his father as an "outgoing" and "hyper" man who was still working on the roof of his house and sitting cross-legged with no problem at age 90.

"The party didn't start until he showed up," he said. "He was the outgoing one and she supported him by being the giver. She supported Dad in everything. And he would've been lost without her."

Dennis Yeager said it is strange today to go into his parents' home and see the "two chairs side-by-side that they sat in all the time," empty. He said it was in those chairs that his parents cheered on the Arizona sports teams they loved and rarely missed an episode of "Wheel of Fortune" and "The Price Is Right."

According to their obituary, besides their children, the Yeagers are survived by her sister, Virginia Kell, and his brother, Roger Yeager, as well as 14 grandchildren, 29 great-grandchildren and one great-great grandchild.

Their grandson Randy Yeager said he has been inspired in his own 13-year marriage by his grandparents' loving and lasting marriage.

"Grandpa and I were talking this summer about all of the people getting divorced for this reason or that and he mentioned that nobody stays together anymore," Randy Yeager wrote to ABCNews.com in an email. "I told [him] that my wife Mara and I would never be getting a divorce and he said, 'That's because you're old school, like me!'

"That was one of the greatest compliments I could have ever received and one I will strive to live up to for the rest of my life," Randy Yeager said.

The couple were put in a casket together holding hands for their funeral this week, but are being cremated and will have their ashes mixed before burial.

"All their life has been together," Sheets said. "So, when it came to the funeral home, the family asked, 'Can we have them put in the casket together holding hands?' Because that's the way their life was."

I'm not perfect

The perfect song to manifest my current feeling. It's a daunting road. An arduous climb for perfection which is far and beyond.

Falling a thousand feet per second, you still take me by surprise
I just know we can't be over, I can see it in your eyes
Making every kind of silence, takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?

Making every kind of silence, it takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall, even if you said I wrong

I know that I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?

When you're caught in a lie and you've got nothing to hide
When you've got nowhere to run and you've got nothing inside
It tears right through me, you thought that you knew me
You thought that you knew

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my, just myself
Just myself, myself, just myself

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying

The language of love

A healthy relationship is one that encompasses love, concern and communication. Clearly, certain factors are missing in mine. Communicate more, pretend less -- that's probably what the love guru would say. However, how does one communicate if the other half comes home (mainly to sleep and shower) in the wee hours of the morning and with the other half leaving for work early in the day? Some may say it's due to the pace of life and work, but I beg to defer. Proper planning on a day to day basis is simply the rule of thumb in making things work and showing respect to anyone. I certainly do not appreciate last minute notification and fake make-up lines thereafter. I've seen several couples making it a point to have a date night every wk/ doing things together/ looking forward to a trip to Maldives or Bali at the end of the year. Such things are probably what I need to keep me going. Motivation. It's lacking. This year is especially daunting. Playing mind games is frustrating when he displays blissful indifference. Before you get overly concerned, there are no irreconcilable problems, am just wondering where's that warm fuzzy feeling that can only come from someone special? At the time of writing, he's once again lying in bed, probably dreaming of the leggy girl he met at YOG's closing ceremony. No, the jealous monster isn't creeping up on me. Roving eyes are prevalent and you can't stop men from ogling. Afterall, I ogle and cute men most of the time too! It's been probably more than a month since we had proper meal together, and 8 months since we planned anything like a holiday together. N yet, plans to go globe trotting with friends are in the making. Blame-worthy? Prolly not in his dictionary. No wonder even the mil forgot how i look like when I walked past her one fine morning. To justify, I was dressed no where near a clown. Perhaps I should buy myself another ticket to far-faraway land again to relegate the past to where it belongs. How else can I continue with having this indomitable spirit?

I think I need some form of therapy to heal this psychological scar. Retail therapy don't seem to work these days. Even mum is worried. We don't share all that much, but telepathy tells it all. I've lost my appetite on several occasions and sleep seems to hate me these days. Was thankful that I managed to doze off at 1am before a certain someone ambled back home @ 2, with all lights inconsiderately switched on. Thanks to that, I'm now blogging. Wonder when will the zzz monster visit me again? This is seriously having detrimental effects on health.

Love, at its most glorifying is about total acceptance. I can only hope that one day that certain someone will get round to appreciate me more (show not tell).

What is your language of love? Mine is probably speaking a foreign one.

Loneliness is consuming my mind

Dear Diary,

Not sure why, but I've been feeling melancholic of late. Can't quite point the finger on the exact thing though. Am just going through life robotic-ally and am nowhere near clearing my backlog. The chase is tiring but inevitable. Amid the music and intoxication, I constantly feel my heart stirring quietly. Been immersing myself with work and social gatherings so as to forget the lonesome feeling. Emptiness is scary. Universal longing for love perhaps; or yearning to excel further and to cull the procrastination; exhaustion setting in, or probably just wanting a break from it all. A break to look forward to like old times. Feelings, unlike golf or trigonometry, defy the rule that you can improve on something by expending more effort. I know I've given loads of effort. But... I'm running out of ideas as to how I should intoxicate myself. Am anxiously awaiting for enrollment for my course in September which hopefully would do my portfolio good. Not sure exactly why I'm subjecting myself to more work and stress. Perhaps the fear for loneliness is exponentially consuming my mind. I've been waiting for that special day/ moment when he'd surprise me with a note/ present/ flower/ plan/ a spontaneous decision to go on a date, but I can only silently wait and be the woman behind her man. So cliche. How long has it been? I've lost count. I guess he did to. Life together is slowly sneaking into oblivion. Someone once said " As long as a man has testosterone, he is subjected to its indomitable command." Agree. Schedules seemed to be planned around him, but I'm only updated about his, when a tantrum is thrown. It's getting really tiring and I certainly do not enjoy it. Sacrifices have been made on both ends, but the scale is somewhat tilting towards my end. Why am I so needy, ever pinning for a man to share my life. Despite reaching out, I find myself utterly alone in the end. Weariness is mounting. I try to with-hold my selfish thoughts, but I just want to be pampered and well taken care of.

Is that too much to ask?

One step at a time

In a little blink, 11 days have passed since I last blogged. Ops, the determination seems to be weaning a tad and I'm besieged by guilt.

It's been quite a whirlwind last week with several scheduling problems being escalated by one particular person. Some people simply have no respect whatsoever for others and take things for granted. Here's the big pic: I texted the parent on Monday to confirm the time for Friday's lesson. upon the second message (the next day) did she reply saying she's not home to find out what time her child would be back on Friday. Nice. Being a stay-home mom and she isn't aware of her child's time-table. Told me she'd get back, but no reply till I dropped her yet another text on Wed morning. Only then she replied saying she went home late and a host of other excuses. My phone is switched on 24/7, so no matter how late, I'd be available. ok, granted that she was trying to give me some personal space, but why did I have to chase for an answer? Nevertheless, the answer came and the time was not convenient as child was not coming home straight after school, whilst all others are. hmm....not really his fault though as he is involved in some performances in school. At a time like this, when the PSLE is looming ahead like a dark curtain, I say it's silly. Thus, after much upheaval, I've switched everyone around and accommodated to his timing. You would have thought all was good now, but NOooooo...later that day, the mom texted me to say her child needs to stay back till 10pm! hmm..which primary school does that? Apparently it was the school's anniversary and she doesn't know! Honestly, if parenting had a grade, she would have scored a F-! thinking that Monday and Tues were holidays (due to National day), she thought I'd be able to have a session then. BUT my bookings came as early as 3 wks ago and I had to declined and added that I was having extra sessions with my students. Panic struck, she requested for extras too. With the annoying times she has (eg no lessons after 7pm as the child needs to eat at 7pm sharp, n sleep by 9+pm), I had to reject gently.

Enough said. The above was really a mundane explosion of one of the many things which made me ticked last wk. Escalation of it is a testament to its ineffectiveness. So let's move on....

The wkend had been pretty fulfilling. Met up with E & H again on Sunday. As usual, E fussed over H's marital status. These days, there have been talks of people putting marriage by the side as they pursue a glamorous career -- an evolving role of women in modern society. Singaporean women have made strides int he last few decades. The young women of today are educated and articulate, are well travelled and career-minded. But once their biological clock starts ticking, they start to go into a frenzy mode, signing up with matchmaking services like SDU/ Love actually/ going overseas to buy true love. Read in an article that said it used to be, Singaporean males who signed up with matchmaking agencies to look for foreign brides were older than 45, and had little or no education. Lately, men in their 20s and 30s who are educated and earn decent pay are turning to these agencies. Long-distance relationship used to be so rare that the mere possibility of someone having one would spark weeks and months of intense debate among his or her friends. However, these days, it's a commonplace. Would be witnessing yet another wedding next Saturday which will display Love beyond borders.

Alright, if you have read to this far, I must applaud you for your patience! haha. Here's some pictures to satisfy those who are more visual:
Enjoyed a blueberry Cheesecake with E&H at Suduko Japanese Coffee house @ Bugis whilst the hubs enjoyed a wedding feast at Inter-continental Hotel!
THe Goma Cheesecake was more to my liking. Nice presentation and not exorbitant.

A sneak preview of what's cooking on National day:




Managed to guess what'd I'll be cooking? Answers will be revealed in my next post (which hopefully would be soon! URGH I'm so behind time!)