What a bloody start to 2017

I have been awfully quiet. I know. It had been the worst New Year. The worst start! A bloody start literally as well. My blood had been sucked by a mosquito. An Aedes mosquito no less. Yup, I contracted the Dengue! *Horrors 

So what happened was that we were in Malaysia visiting a farm on our last day of our trip. I had to make that happen even though we were running out of time. Big mistake! Despite applying repellent, Small K and I were bitten. Thankfully he is fine. We furiously applied more after being bitten. That happened on 23rd December 2016. The week passed and I was planning our New Year's Eve party. Days prior to NYE I even met up with some of my favourite blogger mommies for brunch. A day passed and I was fine. The next day, it was 360 degrees change! I woke up with my joints and body aching like crazy. It was so painful I couldn't drag myself out of bed! I thought that after a short rest I could still cook a simple meal for the kids, but the minutes passed and things were not improving! I was boiling. Fever struck. Thankfully the kids were very cooporative and entertained themselves. I SOSed my mom, however, after 10 missed calls, i almost cried! Apparently she went to the market without her phone and I had to send Dad to look for her and send her to my house, pronto! Despite being so ill, I knew the kids had to be fed and go to school. Thankful that my parents are now staying close to me. 

So after 4 days, my fever did not subside. It hit 41 degrees celsius on several occasions. The nights were awful. I could not sleep well. The days were worse coz I had to mind the two kids. Fortunately, the hubs was in town! His trip got postponed by a stroke of luck and he was able to help with the kids. He did a great job but my condition wasn't improving despite meds. So we went for a blood test to ensure that it wasn't Dengue, Zika or Malaria. Negative. That was the result I was given. Shortly after, my fever subsided so I thought it was just a virus. A day later, I was scratching like a monkey! It was so so so bad that I could not sleep! I applied Aloe Vera cream, I put ice, I did EVERYTHING, but the itch was still so so bad. I wanted to bang my head already! The itch subsided after 2 days, so again, I didn't think much about it. Just then, a new turn to my condition surfaced -- I started feeling nauseous  and giddy and started vomitting like crazy. I was literally hugging the WC! I visited a TCM as western meds didn't seem to work. The TCM said it was due to the fact that my fever induced by a cold was not completely cured and those effects were the remnants. He was sure it wasn't Dengue but my heartbeat was very very weak. He gave me some meds but each time I took them, I vomitted. This continued for about 3 days. I couldn't eat or drink. The hubs was very worried and insisted that I get myself to the hospital. I did. Finally. They ran a blood test again and guess what? It's DENGUE! *horrors

I was admitted immediately and went on drip for two days. Anti-vomitting drug was given to me and I could finally eat a little. Technically, a staycation at the hotel should not be all that bad. After all, no kids, air-conditioned 24hours, and 24hours butler service. Wrong. They did not have a single bed available and I had to put up with a double bedder. My roommate was burping, farting and talking loudly on the phone all the way till 11pm! and at 7am, she started we-chatting with someone possibly in her family. Oh Gosh! I was going nuts! I texted the hubs continually from 7am, whining like a baby, demanding that I get discharged. The doctor did not come round till lunch time. I was whining so badly that the nurses could empathise. The wait was arduous! I pitied the hubs who had to hear my whines. Finally when the doctor arrived, I whined again. haha...Even the doctor could not stand it and said I could be discharged but had to come back for a blood test later that week. My platelet count wasn't bad by the time I got admitted but my liver function was not great hence I was merlioning a great deal. However, it wasn't a dire situation, hence I was safe. So off to home I went. Instantly, I felt better! I was and am sill nauseous . Days later, I went back for a blood test and was told that I was cleared of dengue however, I got the fatty liver syndrome apparently from Dengue. That was why I was still feeling nauseous. The numbers wasn't of concern hence, once again, the doctor gave me clearance. 

The next few days, I was desperately googling for remedies for Dengue. One of which I found was recommended by Serene. Frog and bitter gourd essence. Serene was a gem, she tried to help me look for those little bitter gourd. She said it had to be Indian. haha...Honestly, I wouldn't be able to tell! She even wanted to head off to Little India to look for it! *heart melt. I was still weak but I knew no one in the family was able to help me with this, hence i dragged myself out of bed and went round my estate in search for the ingredients. I came home giddy and nauseous again. Thankfully I found them after a visit to a supermarket! Came home and immediately started boiling this concoction with a slight twist. I added dried conch. Just for the taste :P. After cooking for 3 hours, it was finally ready. the essence was so YUMZ! so sweet! ok, bitter actually but i loved it! This recipe is suppose to cleanse the blood. Yup, probably just what I needed since my blood was tainted by that bloody mozzie. 

Over the next few days, I cooked myself light stuff like mee sua and porridge. My appetite had not returned but I was at least eating. Yes, you heard me right. I cooked for myself. You see, despite having help from mom and the hubs, they were primarily helping with the kids. Fed, bathed and ubered the kids. I was thankful for that. The hubs claimed he didn't know how to cook porridge or mee sua the way i liked it so I was on my own. Yeah, i know. What an excuse! But oh well, he whipped up great lunches for the kids, so much so Big K declared that his cooking was better than mine! *Horrors How could that possibly be right?

Photo credit: youngliving.com

photo credit: google

Besides this recipe, I relied heavily on the doctor's anti-vomitting pills but I knew that was not going to cure me. I also relied badly on sour plums. I even had cravings! I know what you are thinking, but NO. I wanted to go back on my TCM meds but the smell was bad and I was afraid i would end up puking more and getting myself back in hospital again. So, out came my lemon essential oil! I sniffed and mixed it with water and drank it. It kept my vomitting spells under control. Together with this, I took Young Living Ningxia. Another advice I got from kind friends is to take the Longan Red dates with dang shen everyday. The type a woman would take for confinement. It is supposedly to help me regain my strength and boost my blood. By week 3, I started work. Everyone was surprised as usually such a disease required at least one to two months before the patient can fully recover. Well, I have not fully recovered. I am probably only 50% there. However, life needed to go on and the husband needed to fly. My mother-in-law even ticked him off for flying. "Your wife is sick and you are still flying?" she said. His reply "Sick then no need to eat ah?" He couldn't help it and so, I had to stand strong. I had to return to work soon too as despite the many concerned messages and phone calls i got from parents, I knew that deep down they were hoping to see me soon. Kiasu-syndrome. Only a small percentage could wait till after Chinese New Year. It doesn't help that CNY is round the corner. Imagine the chores I had to embark on! Plus with the hubs away, I really thought I couldn't make it this far. His travel schedule has been planned till April! OH GOSH it is C.R.A.Z.Y! I was doing the minimal. Bit by bit. Day by day. I could not over-exert myself as I am still weak.  I tried to sleep as much as I could but somehow, my sleep was very poor. Constantly interrupted by the urge to vomit. Everyday I would text the hubs telling him how tired I was by midday and that I wanted to vomit constantly. Probably the liver is still fat. 

The hubs is back over the weekend and I am So so so so thankful! He instantly got arrowed from me, doing all the menial chores of the house. He is a very handson person and within a day or two, our spring cleaning is 80% done! Yipee! The journey to recovery seems tough. However, slowly but surely I will get there. My appetite is getting better. So much so, I regained 1kg! Now, if only someone can tell my coming-to-3yo Small K to stop acting up and behaving like a Terrible Three? URGH!!!!

How has your 2017 been? Hope it has been better than mine!

So she says I don't eat well enough

I've been feeling awful lately. Awfully emo that is. The two young ones at home have taken ill. It has been so rough that we've (or rather, I've) been waking up almost every hour to pacify either of them. I could be patting Small K to sleep after a fierce struggle of over 2 hours, or calming an angsty Big K who got up in the middle of the night for milk because she was uncomfortable. It's not just once, but four times in a night! I tried to stand firm by telling her that she shouldn't be drinking in the middle of the night, but her screams were intense and I was so afraid she would wake her little brother up. I certainly wouldn't want to do a mambo with two crying babies. this has been ongoing for almost a week now and I'm truly knackered. The husband did his part by putting Small K to sleep every night and I'm thankful that he's around during this period. However, after midnight, he would retire his duties. No matter how loud Small K's cries were, he wouldn't get up from under the sheets. His reason: he doesn't have boobs! Then, there's Big K who has major insecurity issues. Every night after putting them to sleep, I'll be doing stuff in the living room. Once she sensed that I wasn't by her side, she'll walk out to look for me. For the entire week, she does that at least twice on the average. That forced me to sleep with her, but work and chores are piling up. They are on the road to recovery, but their clinginess still remains. It is particularly bad with Big K whom I've honestly been ignoring. She used to receive so much attention from me on the home learning front. These days, she's just roaming around. Small K has also learnt the art of attention seeking and is constantly wanting to be carried. 

It's tough enough to be juggling work and two sick little ones but it's even tougher for someone in the family to say that I'm not doing that great a job in giving myself sufficient nutrients. True that I do not take my dinners regularly due to work commitments. I knock off very late hence by the time i can sit down to have a proper meal, it'd be 11pm. However, i do grab a bun or a biscuit in between. Unfortunately, that particular person doesn't see it that way. She deemed that this is affecting the quality of my breastmilk. She has been urging me to start on formula given that Small K has turned one recently. She feels that with formula, Small K will sleep better and he'll grow fatter. Small K is indeed on the small side. 3rd to 10th percentile to be precise, however, i reckon it's in our genes as Big K, well, isn't very big either. In anycase, it was about the same time when Big K turned one that such a topic was touched on as well. I explained that formula and sleeping well doesn't correlate. I mean, look at Big K. She was on formula and didn't sleep through the night till she was 2.5years old! So then, the argument came -- I don't eat well enough. If only she had the heart to save me some herbal soup when she boils some for her daughter. Or perhaps pack food for the hubs to bring back for me like how it was done when I was pregnant with Big K. Currently, food is packed even for her son-in-law! I don't think there are any undercurrents. And we certainly get along amiably. So what's the problem? I'm perfectly fine that I'm not pampered. It would be nice but since I'm not, I do my best on my own. So don't be saying that I do not eat nutritiously or that it's because of my diet that the boy is on the low end of the chart. I am probably doing a much better job that anyone in the family with the soups I boil regularly or the supplements I take erm irregularly. 

So here's a run down on what I usually eat. I'm sure there is room for improvement but for a ftwm I think this would do.

So, what do you think?

Homelearning amidst the craziness

It's been a while since I've posted anything on our homelearning efforts. To be honest, I've been a headless chicken since the arrival of Small K. It is coming to a year (GOSH! A year? did someone just say he's going to turn one?!) but everything's been pretty disorganised. I'm living each day as it comes. If I'm up to it, I'll do my prep work the night before and feel really good the next day. However, more often than not, I'd rather crash in bed, thinking that with all the experience and toys i have, i can simply whip something up at the snap of the finger. But, i forgotten to take into account the kids' temperament. Sometimes what i grab may not appeal to them. I guess they can feel my insincerity. Really hope to be more well prepared and purposeful in our learning. 

The guilt is eating me up but things havent gotten any easier since last weekend. Everything seems to be telling me that I've to slow things down even more. The laptops went cranky (yes both laptops), the printer went cuckoo (all thanks for silly me who bought the wrong cartridge! Wasted good money there coz I no longer have the receipt), best of all, the husband turned off my deep freezer which stored all my frozen breast milk!!! That completely drove me up the wall! Imagine my exasperation. His explanation was that he needed a plug for the warmer. The warmer has all the while been at another spot and there was no reason why he should shift it! Even then, he continued to defend himself by saying he switched the freezer on and off but somehow he forgotten to turn it on for the last time! All my stash completely thawed. I hugged Small K and wanted to cry but no tears came out. Supply has dipped tremendously but I don't intend to stop breastfeeding any soon. *stress. I attribute his forgetfulness to his addiction to gaming. He's a great dad and all but gaming is getting in the way. Seriously, for the last two weeks when the mil went on holiday, we were all on our own. I took the morning shift whilst he took the afternoons. He cooked dinner for the kids, bathed them, wound them down and washed up. Often, leaving two or three items for me to wash up. His excuse -- I would be too free if he did them all. HRMPH. So any hoots, back to the addiction. It's so bad that he went out at midnight one day to buy a snack, armed with his iPad but not his keys. Yups, at 1230am, he called me and even rang the door bell. I was fast asleep but was awoken. And Small K was also awoken. Thanks. So if there's such a place as a rehabilitation centre for gamers, please let me know. I'd like to send him there!

Ops! Sorry I digressed. Pardon me, but it's not easy managing a big baby and two other little ones. It's really tough managing two young children alone. Kudos to those who do homeschooling full time! Probably I'll manage better if I don't have to work and have more time and am not always in a rush.  If you give Big K something, Small K will come along and explore (read: create a mess) and this causes Big K to scream her lungs out. If you give Small K something, Big K will come along to say that she wants it as well.  "i want i want i want..mama mama mama" Those words are frequently resonating in my household. So how do I manage it? Well, i find an activity where both are able to play together and when Small K naps, I try to get Big K to do other stuff. That is if I've the energy and she's cooperative. 

Below are some of the activities, apart from roaming around freely in the house, that we did over the last month:

They absolutely LOVE this. Sensory play is just what the boy needs! I'm thankful that he's at an age where learning is this easy!

I've been trying to introduce phonics to Big K, but I've been terribly inconsistent. She's in her sensitive stage now and I really would love to do a bit more. However, it's not always easy to get her to sit and listen and furthermore, I'm often doing such activities as I cook or wash the dishes. 

I had these for a while but it didn't really appeal to her till of late. 

My mom brought me these. I don't know why. So instead of throwing, I improvised it into a bingo game for Big K! She totally enjoyed it. 

Things are a tad slow around here. However, slowly but surely, we will get there. 

The Nanny left me with Mambo No. 9

Goodness me! as cliche as this might sound, TIME FLIES! 

The nanny from Elm Street has left and i've been busy like a bee since! In fact, her premature departure wasn't quite anticipated. I had to let her go 3 days prior to her last day and that was after "tahaning" for a week. She was ill you see. On the day the hub had to be away for a one week business trip no less. However, as proud as she was, she kept insisting that she had never been ill in her entire life and that each time she thinks she's going to fall ill, she'll take some of her miracle pills and herbal teas she brought along to suppress the bug. And so, each day, suppressed she did. I didn't quite hear her cough in the day but come night, despite having her door closed, I could hear. And boy was I freaked out coz Small K was in the room with her! The next day I urged her to put on a mask. Again, the adamant her, refused. Shouted at the top of her voice. Not in anger, but that's her usual tone of talking. Annoying much. The next day, I decided to have the kids in my room instead. Wow! It was mambo number 9 cum concerto No. 5 that night despite having my mom stay overnight! Well, in fact, having mom over wasn't too great an idea. You see, mom's the youngest in the family and when I was young, I was taken care by my maternal grandmother and a nanny who is now my Godma so you can imagine how close we are. Anyways, Empress Dowager can't even change diapers and the proud her (yes, she belongs to the same camp as the confinement nanny) claimed that diapers wasn't invented during my time. Fine. I gave her the traditional cloth diaper which i favoured. Again, she told me she couldn't fold them let alone put it on for my little boy. I urged her to learn and when it was time for diaper change, Small K sprayed all over and got her amused and laughing instead of getting the situation in control! Thereafter, Small K had to pooped and she caused a mess on my rubber mat as small K was struggling and again, she wasn't in control. I tried to give her a crash course but instead of standing still to listen, she walked around and gave me the "I eat salt more than you eat rice" lecture. She helped wash Small K's laundry by hand and left the wet clothes dripping on the tap, insisting that they'll all dry before I know it. Something which I can't quite envision since they were all dripping wet (yes she didn't quite rinse them). That night, when Small K cried (which was every half an hour or so...ya go figure!), Big K would be disturbed. At the peak, I was expressing my breastmilk when Small K decided to be a tenor and Big K joined in to be a soprano. The Empress Dowager carried Small K to me which I don't know why since I was expressing and thereafter, went to pick Big K up to pat. I was at wits end as how could I be expressing and coaxing a distressed infant at the same time?? Subsequently, Big K, who hates her grandma, continued crying and walked towards me. Wow! Simply HIGH! and you know what did the Empress Dowager said? "I give up. I don't know how to handle your kids". Wow. Thanks for your help, Mom! 

The next morning, I had to quickly pick up some groceries from the supermarket downstairs (yes, thankfully it's THAT convenient!) so off I went with Dad who came early in the morning to help. 10 minutes later, we received a distressed SOS. Her highness called to say the two kids are wailing again and that she can't handle! Sigh. I think I'm really better off myself. Fast forward, mom was only thankfully able to help one night and thereafter, I was on my own. By the end of the week, the nanny was in such bad shape she was sleeping half the time! she was merely cooking my meals and not looking after my little one which obviously I wouldn't want her to as well!! It was then, I decided to send her back. She told me i had to change her train ticket for her. I called. I was annoyed by the neighbouring country's system. There wasn't an empty seat and whether or not there'll be an additional carriage, we won't know unless we called in every hour! and mind you, the lines are perpetually busy. The nanny said I had to go down to the train station at Woodlands to wait! She must be mad! I was desperate. The hub suggested to get her an air ticket on our expense. Another mad fellow. I tried to convince him that a bus ticket was all she needed but he said the poor old lady was very ill and an air ticket was definitely gona be cheaper than medical should Small K catch her bug! Ok. I was sold! U know the funny thing was, despite being very annoyed with her for the last couple of weeks, I was actually a tad sad when she was about to leave and I was suppressing those tears when the 65 year old picked up her 2 hugeass luggage and bade us goodbye. She even gave my little one an ang bo which made me slightly guilty coz the ang bao I gave her that was supposedly meant for good luck, was a small one. then again, we bought her a freaking Air Ticket to go home! Incidentally she had to complain that she was travelling via Air Asia coz the airport was further from her hometown and that she had a bad experience on board previously! Sheez, buy ticket for her yet complain. Seriously can she be less of a complain monger and more grateful? Maybe I was sad coz from now onwards, I was truly on my own! haha

Needless to say, the following few days/ weeks, was ultra hectic. the hub wasn't due home till a week and i had to push forward my food delivery. The MIL unfortunately did not step in to even offer help for Big K or my meals despite knowing the situation. In anycase, I was determined to prove to the world that I live up to my name as a Supermom! I felt really weak and helpless. But, the will of the strong will never be shaken by doubts of the weak. My greatest weakness was complaining and I did so via social media where i garnered so much support (and criticism at times) from friends that it kept me going. So yeah, the nights went by and my dark circles became darker and darker. But I survived. Barely. Each time I was attending to Small K, Big K would throw tantrums by taking stuff out of the drawers or requesting to pee or have her milk. At one point in time, I was carrying Small K with one arm latching, and the other arm helping Big K up the W.C! No wonder, the uncle commented that my arms are getting huge! Sigh. However, on calmer occasions, when I see Big K's loving and helpful side, I soften and think that she's the best daughter + sister ever. Life is always throwing curveballs to us but the only way was to bite the bullet and sacrifice hell lot of sleep!

“Being weak doesn’t make you worthless. Being strong doesn’t make you invincible. But having those two sides makes you, you.” 

― Danielle Baker

turning healthy

Major Hiatus! It has never been this way before! What has been happening? The usual. Tackling the oft-grinding life of working motherhood. Sleep deprivation. Adrenal fatigue. These somehow reverberated in several spheres for the past week. Lil K was sick. Down with viral fever initially. Shooting up to over 40 degrees twice and at 3am, it was the last straw. I took her to A&E, only to be disappointed by KKH. The doctor wasn't too sympathetic and instead criticised the medication I received from my pediatrician. On top of that, we were told to collect K's urine sample to test for UTI but from 330am till 7am, there was no pee! PANIC attack! I craddled her as she slept n the hub was also snoring away in his seat. The doctor and nurses offered no help. Finally, we decided to go home and wait for the pee to come. Collecting the pee was as traumatizing. Lil K was afraid of peeing into the little container. We let her go diaperless in hope that she'll let us know when she wants to pee (she usually does), but alas, she knew we were up to no good thus was pee-ing everywhere. Finally, at noon, we collected a clean sample! N guess what? As expected, it wasn't UTI. The doctor then told us if the fever persists for 4 days and rash comes out, only then will they conduct a blood test. FOUR DAYS? u gotto be kidding me! I need a solution pronto! Thankfully, her fever subsided on Day 3 but on Day 4, diarrhoea kicked in. Once again, we visited our PD (Dr Hiew from Junior Baby clinic @ Marine Parade). He was concerned and believed that Lil K had the stomach flu. True enough, the next few days, members of the entire clan caught the bug. All except me. Somehow, nature has its way of keeping the mother strong. I gulped down tons of vitamins and water to ensure that I stayed strong. It was sleepless nights as Lil K woke up to poop. At its peak, i had to change her 10 times a night! Amidst all these hullabaloo, I had to work. It was and still is, peak season for me. I often get bouts of panic attacks when thing get ovewhelming. Shouldering sleep deprivation isn't easy, however I've to constantly remind myself that we are not wired for work alone. Thereafter, the hubs went on 2wks reservist. Even though he got to come home every night, it was still mostly me, myself and I. Right after reservist, he was flying again.

 

This post has been hibrnating under "draft" for the longest time. Each time, i could only type a bit as I can't seem to find a full hour to sit down and pen down my thoughts. Frustrating much. wish there's a machine which can read my thoughts. Worse yet, the downloading of photos is an ardous process. In addition, my lappy's battery has popped and the hub's lappy is terribly sensitive. The cursor strangely jumps around when I type. Which is terribly annoying because it sometimes deletes what I type. Thankfully there's the UNDO button!

 

Alright, I'm pretty sure you won't want me to be yakking about how painful life is so i'll get to the point. I shouldn't let time go by without looking after myself well. This is especially important after the series of events which in a twist of fate, led me to realise how fragile and unpredictable life is.

Since young, I've been conditioned by self reliance. Especially so since communication with Empress Dowager was terse. There's nothing much medically that I can do at this moment so rather than to dwell on something exponentially unpleasant, an action plan to a healthier life should be in place. So that's what I've been doing. Looking at things from the other end of the tunnel, I'm starting to feed myself better despite having to juggle with comitments of both work and family. It's no excuse, everyone else is doing so. Only difference, they prolly have a better support system or spare cash under their pillow to put mounting financial stress at bay.Then again, 家家有本难念经, so I should not plummet myself into this viscious cycle. No matter how insurmountable it might seem, I'm going to try harder to treat myelf better. It's tough not to rush around and have the bandwidth to linger and reflect, but I hope to take baby steps to strike a balance in the drudgery of life.

 

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well

 

Here's what I've been doing to keep myself healthier (or so it seems):

 

I've been a staunch believer of TCM and lately I've switched physicians. This old man (Ban Choon Chan) @ Marine Parade came highly recommended but be warned, his queues are amazing too! He isn't opened on Monday and Tuesdays and the rest of the days, he's only opened in the day. His doors opens at 830am but pilgrims (including old ladies) are there even at 7am! Once I was there at 8am (happily  thinking that I was early), but alas! I was 12th in q and waited till almost 11am before it was my turn! There is no q number given so u basically have to be seated physically. Some even resort to putting a pack of tissue paper in order to sneak out for a breather! The meds don't come cheap. Two dosages like the above set me back by $75. Taken on certain days of the cycle unlike my previous TCM which had me consume a cough syrup like concoction everyday, every 4 hours. Honestly, I'm not too sure which works, but at least this physcian is located nearby and most importantly, SPEAKS ENGLISH! i've seen even Indian customers of his! And when I  first told him of my condition, he immediately used heaps of medical terms to explain. That bought me over.

 

 

I've recently (ok not very recent considering the hiatus) chanced upon this awesome little organic stall. It's really quite a small area selling all sorts of organic stuff (except fresh produce). I was particularly impressed by the fact that I could purchase organic pepper, garlic powder and some other spices by the gram! this saves a lot on wastage. Green Pantry is located at Katong i12, Basement.

I bought myself some Quinoa, organic noodles, red rice and organic raw cacao powder amongst others.

 

Here are the benefis of Quiona which I generally add to rice or porridge:

 

1. Quinoa is one of the most protein-rich foods we can eat. It is a complete protein containing all nine essential amino acids.

2. Quinoa contains almost twice as much fiber as most other grains. Fiber is most widely known to relieve constipation. It also helps to prevent heart disease by reducing high blood pressure and diabetes. Fiber lowers cholesterol and glucose levels, may lower your risk of developing hemorrhoids and may help you to lose weight as it takes a longer time to chew than does other foods because it makes you feel fuller for longer and is less “energy dense” which means it has fewer calories for the same volume of food.

3. Quinoa contains Iron. Iron helps keep our red blood cells healthy and is the basis of hemoglobin formation. Iron carries oxygen from one cell to another and supplies oxygen to our muscles to aid in their contraction. Iron also increases brain function because the brain takes in about 20% of our blood oxygen. There are many benefits of iron some more of which include neurotransmitter synthesis, regulation of body temperature, aids enzyme activity and energy metabolism.

4. Quinoa contains lysine. Lysine is mainly essential for tissue growth and repair.

5. Quinoa is rich in magnesium. Magnesium helps to relax blood vessels and thereby to alleviate migraines. Magnesium also may reduce Type 2 diabetes by promoting healthy blood sugar control. Other health benefits of magnesium include transmission of nerve impulses, body temperature regulation, detoxification, energy production, and the formation of healthy bones and teeth.

6. Quinoa is high in Riboflavin (B2). B2 improves energy metabolism within brain and muscle cells and is known to help create proper energy production in cells.

7. Quinoa has a high content of manganese. Manganese is an antioxidant, which helps to prevent damage of mitochondria during energy production as well as to protect red blood cells and other cells from injury by free radicals.



 

Credits to http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4994/7-Benefits-of-Quinoa-The-Supergrain-of-the-Future.html

 

Another superfood worth mentioning is Cacao powder. I add this to my daily cup of Milo.

The much touted nutritional benefits or raw cacao range from reducing cataracts to improving heart function to alleviating stress. The theobromine naturally found in raw cacao is a mild, non-addictive stimulant that some believe can treat depression. Nowadays we know that raw cacao is certainly very high in antioxidant flavanoids, sulfur and magnesium. The essential fatty acids found in chocolate may help the body to raise good cholesterol and lower bad cholesterol. The high levels of antioxidants reduce the amount of free radicals in the body --that certainly sounds good to me.

 

The above are some of the simple healthy dishes I've whipped up. I try keep my dishes simpler as it's mostly prepared before work for lil K and I. It's no mean feat having to cook and having a lil toddler clinging by your leg literally. Not to mention the cleaning up thereafter. It's often a madhouse right after I drop off Lil K at her granny's. Sometimes I'd be in such a big hurry, the dishes will just have to wait. Thankfully, the ants and cockroaches are still at bay.

 

 

When I'm out, I try to opt for healthier options too. Am trying to avoid fried stuff (oh how i love my  KFC) but i now indulge in such foods only once in a blue moon. The above haunt is an awesome place i found in the Toa Payoh enclave. Nestled in the heart of the interchange, this stall which sells only steamed stuff is really a gem. You may think that steam = boring. But check out it's array

 of dishes! From Assam Fish Slice to plain old steam veggies, they have them all. There's also an option of white rice or brown rice. Naturally, even though it doesn't taste as chewy, I force myself to go with the brown rice.

 

 

Apart from white rice, I've stocked up on red, brown and black rice! ooooo i love colours! Am trying to get the whole family (namely the hub and lil K) involved in eating these supergrains as their benefits speak for themselves:

1. Rich in fiber
2. Controlling blood sugar levels
3. Making full faster
4. Contains antioxidants to counteract free radicals

In addition, red/brown rice is rich in zinc, a mineral that helps accelerate wound healing and maintain the body's immune system to function properly. Just as iron or manganese, zinc is also rich in antioxidants that protect the body from free radicals that can damage cells and tissues in the body.
5. Containing Vitamin B6
6. Lowering bad cholesterol levels

 

 

 

Having spent so much effort in detoxing, the results seem to be showing. My bowel movements are more regular and I'm feeling less lethargic and healthier. I don't know how long I can keep this up but hopefully the efforts will pay off!

 

Let food be thy medicine, thy medicine shall be thy food

Lost. Pcos hits.

Life's a bitch. Seriously.

 

Just when I'm ready to move on and restore my faith, bad news hits me with such great velocity yet again. Can't its frequency be reduced? What have I done to deserve such wavelengths?

 

Was at the gynae's on Wednesday. As I lay on the same bed where the bad news was told to me a month and a half ago, i had a strange inkling that something bad would befall as I looked at the screen. My sixth sense was right. Dr Ho found that I have polycystic ovary, pcos for short. This condition results in irregular menstruation, amenorrhea, ovulation-related infertility (great....just great...just when I got back on my feet, someone up there decides to play a cruel trick on me), and polycystic ovaries; excessive amounts or effects of androgenic (masculinizing) hormones (the hub tried to assure me that I'm no where near that coz he don't see a beard or moustache), resulting in acne (yes. there's a sudden outbreak) and hirsutism; and insulin resistance, often associated with obesity, Type 2 diabetes, and high cholesterol levels. The symptoms and severity of the syndrome vary greatly among affected women. Fertility issues aside, having such a bomb in me which could manifest into other stuff is really very upsetting and disturbing. A chat with some mommy friends and i realise that this condition is quite prevalent although the gynae said it affects only 10% of the women. Coupled with my age, this increases the chances of a miscarriage to 30%. The cause -- likely to be heriditary. Thanks a lot, Mom. Double, Triple whammy not? My heart is weak and I don't think I can take such news. Was in denial for two days. Lost all appetite and had trouble sleeping. My mood was bad and patience was not in my dictionary. It doesn't help that Lil K needs all my attention.

 

They say an idle mind is the devil's playground. But in this instance, how can I get rid of negative thoughts? I've been trying to occupy myself with work and stuff, but it only rendered me tired. The hub was also in denial and believes it's a misdiagnosis. He said I do not exude any of the symtoms. With that said, on the next day, I bled. I wasn't suppose to. It's mid cycle. A sign of ovulation bleeding? I didn't want to procrastinate. I had to do something but what? The specialist said there's no known cure! no medication, no surgery. Nice. With mounting stress, I entertained further negative thoughts. Aquaintance will say stuff like" it's ok, you still have lil K". Leave her out of the picture i say! I love her to bits but it's really cruel to take away the chance of letting her have a sibling. I certainly don't wish for her to be like me -- an only child. A lonely only child.

 

I'm feeling frustrated, confused and lost. Why? Why me? Of coz I know that there are people out there who are worse, but right now, the fact that I can hear my ovaries bitching (they are literally pulsating somehow.....can feel a slight pain on my left at this moment for some reasons) isn't helping! For the past month, i viewed my feelings as a weakness and wanted to get rid of all obstacles. i did. but with this news, how am I to pick up the pieces again?

 

Seeing my devastation, the hub consoled me by saying something senseless -- he is satisfied with just lil K. Oh my! I was speechless yet I wanted to smack him in the face! what a thing to say! where is the fighting spirit? To think I told him that a few mommies I now have conceived naturally even with pcos. Depressed, I sought help from a TCM near my place who is supposedly pretty well known in this field. Was glad I did so. Yet because of him, I found out yet another news which would cause my blood presure to shoot up by the millions. After taking my pulse, he was able to tell me that my m/c was due to the lack of progestorone. I questioned him. Strange that such a thing would happen since I already have lil K. The reason he claimed -- I did not nourish enough during my confinement and during the 1st 6 months after lil K. The angry voice in me spoke yet again. My confinement was done by the MIL. everyone thought that was the best thing and said how lucky I was to have her since she was a great cook. I thought so too. Confinement was 3 square meals, a dish each time (sometime's it's just rice with a plate of ginger fried egg) with a soup only during dinner + a flask of red date with longan water which wouldn't last me through the day. To think that I naively thought this was how confinement should be done. Back then I thought I was really blessed coz mom didn't quite bother thus I was thankful to have help from a kin. Even when fellow mommies told me how much food they had to eat during their confinement (5 meals per day, 3 soups per day etc), I didn't hold a grudge because I was truly thankful that she alleviated my fears for having an outsider to take care of my child. However, such thoughts ceased upon hearing that I might not have lost my child should I have been better taken care of. Unwilling to accept, I argued with the TCM physician who went on telling me that chromosonal abnormality possibility was low since I already had lil K. By now, I know that if i spoke, every word will be laced with anger. Everyone is moving on and getting on with life and I'm made to sink in this hole of depression. I know I should not waste time being mad at people, but it's inevitable to have such feelings. It's exhausting to have to conquer such frustrations yet again. It's maddening! I feel like I'm struggling through a tasteless cup of coffee. I wish there's a wee bit of sugar left at the bottom which I've yet to discover and stir. At times, I really feel that the world is inconspiracy to importune me. Sickness, fear, etc, all knock at once.

 

Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's like a rubbish bin. Full of shit!

So now I'm right back where I've started. Sober and miserable.

mother's day will never be the same again

While many others were busy blogging about how wonderful a Mother's day they had, i was in a different realm. It started off a happy day despite being a lil disgruntled that the hubs was in a different timezone. I was beaming with pride and euphoria as the thought of having two wonderful children to celebrate every Mother's Day from now on flooded into my mind. I wasn't in denial or hallucinating. I was really pregnant. Unbeknownst, God had other plans that would shatter it all. On 15.05.2013, Dr Ho announced that Bb B's (a name my daughter affectionately given to her sibling) heart has stopped. My heart fell upon hearing the news. I was in disbelief! How could such a thing be happening to me? I was distraught, devastated and alone. The hub was miles away n when i broke the news to him, he was speechless but picked up the pieces really quickly and consoled me. I called my family and Empress Dowager's first words were "don't you dare cry!" She didn't come to stand by me coz she was more concern about her small puny business, if u can even call that a business. I was shivering in cold. I put on a brave front when facing Dr Ho. I wanted to ask him all i could in my controlled state of sanity. WHY? Chromosonal abnormality was most probably the cause he said. It apparently affects many modern day women and most will not get past 10wks. I was 9. The lil one already had a heartbeat but it was called home to be with the Lord. N dr believed it happened a few days back thus i conclude it was Mother's Day when i caved into temptation by eating my favourite crabs. 

U see, I was a very staunch believer of TCM during my first pregnancy. My physician is extremely strict and I followed his orders. No seafood (poisonous), no meats except pork and occasionally chicken coz the rest are either poisonous or like duck is known to be "cooling". He's basically against meats coz it decays the fastest according to him. Veg -- to avoid melons and kangkong. Oh goodness, these are my favourite, but i listened during my first pregnancy. This time, i decided to go with the western thoughts and that is to take everything in moderation, afterall, as long as it's not raw, it can't kill right? And the sil, has to buy my favourite on this day. initially i said no. The mil asked y n casted me a look that hinted that i'm ridiculous. I replied it's poisonous according to the Chinese dr coz crabs eat decay stuff...her response: poisonous so? Cannot eat ah? Speechless. That was when i took a small claw. Though that wasn't the cause from a scientific perspective, but it has amounted to lots of guilt on my part. Right from the start it hasn't been an easy pregnancy. 

First Trimester: Morning sickness rendered me lethargic and was in no mood to work. Yet i had to push myself. My hormone levels were probably low according to the gynae as i spotted a couple of times. I had to go for jabs twice weekly on top of the Duphaston (taken orally) and crimson (injected vaginally daily). It was exhausting but i was determined to make it work. The tcm dr assured me my body was good and there's nothing to worry about. 3 days later, the bad news dawned.

Empathy from family was not at it's peak but I am thankful for friends. The hub managed to get a flight n departed within 2 hours of receiving my call. After over 20hours of flight, he was finally here. It's strange but i felt more at peace when he is around. I bawled out but regained composure quickly with him by my side. Though deep down i was still bleeding, i was glad that this husband of mine did not fail me and sat through with me for the procedure. Don't forget he is probably still jet lagging. So yes, a loud shoutout to you my dear even though u don't read this space of mine: thank u, i appreciate u! 

The Dilation (or dilatation) and curettage (D&C)  procedure was really fast. It refers to the dilation (widening/opening) of the cervix and surgical removal of part of the lining of the uterus and/or contents of the uterus by scraping and scooping (curettage). It's a blind procedure, meaning, the gynae does not have a screen to see what's happening in there and it's all base on gut feeling! If the evacuation is not done well, several things can happen:

• Risks associated with anesthesia such as adverse reaction to medication and breathing problems
• Hemorrhage or heavy bleeding
• Infection in the uterus or other pelvic organs
• Perforation or puncture to the uterus
• Laceration or weakening of the cervix
• Scarring of the uterus or cervix, which may require further treatment
• Incomplete procedure which requires another procedure to be performed

Imagine the fear that was instilled in me prior to the operation!! But it was the professional's duty to warn me. I prayed hard that all would go well and it did. Within 45 minutes and i was wheeled back to the ward. It was pretty painless too, probably because many friends kept me in prayers. I was told to expect some bearable cramping and bleeding from a few days to up to 3 weeks.

After the procedure, mum called to say she boiled some soup for me and even though i just had an op, we drove to her place to collect straight after discharge. I told you empathy was lacking right? Over at the in-laws, things weren't any better. Perhaps they are not very conversant people but yet i'd say their way of consolation is much to my liking. In particular, the mil drew a parallel with a relative with a similar experience recently. Was there such a need? Other ppl's loss doesn't justify own loss! She went on to tell me about some friend who gave birth to an autistic child and has painstakingly raised her for years. I really don't think such cases were apt in such a state of emotional distress. Blame it on the lack of EQ or empathy perhaps? I was hoping for more empathy from those two women in my life, afterall, they both went through such a procedure for different reasons. But I was wrong. Upset is such an understatement.

48 hours passed since the op and still no nourishing soup from the mil. What a joke. The hubs insisted i focus on nursing myself to health and was confident his mum would help in every aspect especially cooking, but thankfully i had foresight. I've catered my own confinement food ( whilst waiting for the procedure to be done!) which unfortunately starts only on Tuesday. He instructed the mil to cook nourishing stuff for me and assumed i'll get it everyday. He was wrong. A call back home on Sunday and mil said she was going out thus not cooking. Hub's reply: means Janice has nothing to eat? Surprise Surprise? It seemed that the Mil had plans to head out. I ended up having to cook breakfast, lunch and dinner for myself and my daughter. Everyone says Rest! How i ask, with such support system? It's no wonder the sil often tells me it's best to depend on no one but yrself.

A week has passed since the news of my loss. I'm pretty fine physically but work has to come to a standstill for this and next mth. NO work = no money thus I've gotto be frugal. I'm doing my own confinement by cooking soups and boiling herbs for my bath (yes, that icky herbal bath, else I was instructed by my mom not to bathe, just like during confinement). So there, how again can I rest? In the day, I still have my adorable Baby K to look after. A joy in fact. All my efforts, energy and focus is on her. So much so, sweetie says I'm probably overzealous. I have to keep my mind occupied. I’ve been busy churning out new materials, trying to complete the projects that have been gaining dust. I've been following up on the mountain of chores which I was unable to complete during the past 9wks when I was absolutely lethargic. It felt good that the house is clean once more but once that is done, I'm lost again. 

You never said you're leaving
You never said goodbye
You were gone before I knew it
And only God knows why.

A million times I needed you
A million times I cried
If love alone could have saved you
You never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly
In death I love you still
In my heart you hold a place
That nobody could ever fill.

It broke my heart to lose you
But you didn't go alone
For part of me went with you
The day God took you home.

let's talk about sex, Baby!

Before your imagination runs wild, this isn't gonna be a pervertish R-rated post.

Ever since the birth of bunnikins, the hub and i have been obsessed with babies. Everywhere we go, we'd be oogling at other kids and draw parallel to our own! For the record, i've always been pro-kids but the hub and i were simply not ready financially back then. We waited for 5 years before we we tried. Not that we have struck lottery now though. Even now, with inflation on the go, we are gritting our teeth and sacrificing many luxuries. As such, the topic of kids had always been taboo for us and many a times i'm under the impression that perhaps the hub just like life the way it is -- just the two of us. I was sad and sometimes even embarrassed when relatives pop the question of when i'm having a baby! I evade the question with replies like "maybe next year i'll go to the supermarket to buy one?" or "It's God's will" but the divine intervention will only come to those who are willing to accept help. We were using all sorts of protective methods, so what are the chances of conceiving? Fast forward, the heavens was kind enough to bestowed us the most wonderful and beautiful daughter we could ever dream of. It was however, with much effort and several tries before we hit the jackpot. I've always thought that accidents happen all the time (i mean look at how those drama serials depict?), but each time the menses come, disappointment was written all over my face. 

After K was born in 2011, the hub and I finally sees the joy that a lil one can bring to our life. The joys definitely outweighs the financial burden. Ok, who am I kidding? There were times I do wish that I can strike lottery and stay home with the kid instead of slogging my life! It's really shitty to have to pay so much for playgroups and enrichment and soon, preschool!! Anyway, negativity aside, so these days, there had been talks of having more. One more at least. Age is catching up and I certainly wouldn't like to be categorised under the high-risk group. I haven't got much time but yet, such things can't be rushed. Then again, my raging hormones are running amok! These days, it doesn't help when I hear news of people around me getting preggers soon after no. 1. Don't get me wrong, i'm happy for them, but wonder why they make it seem oh-so-easy! I'm a planner and when things don't go according to plan, I get edgy. It's especially difficult to approach the matter since prior to this, lil bunnikins had crazy and shitty sleeping patterns. Waking up every 1-2hours was a norm already a blessing. Right after we are done with our respective chores and work, thinking that we could finally hit the sack and do it, the bub decides to wake up. Hmmmm...not conducive indeed. Then, there were times when we finally found time, and the hub had to fall ill. I'm constantly annoyed with him being ill as this definitely affects the quality of his sperms. Falling ill isn't within control, but if you choose to binge and eat crap and subject yourself under the scorching fiery sun in the name of golf, then naturally you have only but yourself to blame.  Most of you would know that there's only a small window for ovulation, so yeah, I was an angsty wife. To add to things, the hub's job requires him to fly pretty frequently. Our timings are simply not in sync.

Research have shown that upon weaning the baby from breastmilk, one is most fertile. I was hopeful and decided to wean after 13.5months. I waited, and waited and am still waiting. ....Sigh. 

Anywayz, with the advent of Science and technology there are many schools of thoughts on how to increase your chances of conceiving. So if you are in the market for a new addition, perhaps you may wish to read on:

The Shettles Method

This a child conception idea that is reputed to help determine a baby's sex. It was developed by Landrum B. Shettles in the 1960s and was publicized in the book How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby.

According to the theory, male (Y) sperm are faster but more fragile than female (X) sperm. Further, acidic environments harm Y sperm, according to the theory, making conception of a girl more likely.

Timing of Intercourse 

In order to have a boy insemination should occur as close as possible to the moment of ovulation so that the faster, Y-sperm arrive first and achieve conception, according to the theory. When seeking a girl insemination the couple should seek to have sex 2½ to 3 days before ovulation.

Sexual Position

Shallow penetration coupled with the sperm deposited close to the entrance favors female conception because the area is more acidic, which inhibits the weaker Y sperm, according to the theory. To allow the Y sperm to reach the egg first (which supposedly moves at a faster rate), deeper penetration should be sought, to deposit the sperm at the least acidic area near the uterus opening.

Orgasms

Female Orgasm favors male sperm because they make the vaginal environment more alkaline.

My thoughts: Anyone tried and was successful after using this method? It sounds pretty legitimate though it's not proven. Would really love for bunnikins to have a baby brother. The pressure's on me (though technically it's the contributor of the Y chromosome who has the blame) as both sides of the family does not have an internal grandson! apparently all the grandsons have gone to the maternal sides!

Traditional Chinese Medicine

I'm a strong believer of Chinese meds. In fact, prior to having BB k, i sought help from my TCM physician to recalibrate my body. I was constantly plagued with migraines and tried various ways to cure, but to no avail. Finally after seeing him for only 3 months, not only my migraines went away, I was pregnant! Woo hoo! One has to be really determined and disciplined though. I was told to avoid a whole lot of food: Fried stuff (Oh my KFC and all time favourite prawn-paste chicken wings!), Kang kong, seafood, meat except pork, melons, fruits....at the end of the consultation, my question to him was : What then, can I eat? His reply: Rice and hot water. Plenty of hot water! haha. Kidding? Nope. he was darn serious. But of coz this in reality is impossible! I mean my favourite veg is Kang Kong and I would die if you shut me off from crabs...and the MIL boils awesome melon soup and to avoid drinking would equate to not giving her respect! But I did try to abide by the rules. Well, at least 90% of the time. People around met thought i was mad. Even during pregnancy, I avoided heaps and the MIL could not understand why. You see, in the world of TCM, a harmless root like carrot could neutralize the effects of the meds. Kangkong and some other veggies are known to be "cooling" thus not good for the womb as you need to keep it warm to house the fertilized zygote. Meat decomposes fast so it could mess up your tummy. Fruits -- his logic was that there's heaps of pesticides and even if it's organic, we can't be 100% sure. No cold drinks because Singapore' climate is hot and you are forcing your body to be at loggerheads with the weather. as such, problems may arise. It was really tough to play this game and many a times, i craved for an ice cold beer instead of that hot boiled water. Nevertheless I pushed on. After giving birth however, I whacked my seafood like never before and occasionally gave in to a glass of ice cold fruit juice! Guilty pang struck me all the time. 

My thoughts: I don't know if it really aided me to conceive K, but it definitely worked for my migraine, so looks like I'd better get my diet back on track again! URGH

 

Knowing your ovulation (Clear Blue)

To improve the odds of conception, a friend has recommended me the Clear Blue ovulation monitor. The Clearblue Fertility Monitor is the most advanced home method of maximising your chances of getting pregnant.

Research shows that the Clearblue Fertility Monitor increases the chances of conceiving by 89% over the first two cycles of use.

Most home ovulation tests identify the 2 peak fertility days during your cycle by detecting the surge in Luteinising Hormone (LH) that triggers ovulation. The Clearblue Fertility Monitor is unique as it tracks 2 hormones to typically identify up to 6 fertile days – it not only shows you your 2 peak fertility days, it can also inform most women of an extra 1-5 days of high fertility prior to their peak fertility. Since your partner’s sperm can survive in your body for several days, making love on all of these days can lead to conception. 

My thoughts: LOVE LOVE LOVE this gadget! gets rid of all the guess work on when your ovulation day is! however, I've recently tried looking for the sticks and was told it's discontinued!!

Diet

You may be able to improve the chances of conceiving a baby boy by making certain changes to your diet. When more alkaline, the cervical fluid will be more conducive for the sperm that carry the Y chromosomes that are needed to fuse with the eggs to conceive a baby boy. The midwives of olden times emphasized the ability of the diet to affect the gender of the baby.

Foods

*Apples
*Apricots
*Avocado
*Bananas (Ripe)
*Grapefruit
*Grapes
*Lemons
*Lime
*Oranges
*Pears
*Peach
*Pineapples
*Raisins
*Strawberries
*Tomato's
*Watermelon (seedless)

*Potato's
*Celery
*Broccoli
*Garlic
*Green Beans
*Green Peas
*spinach

*Red meat

*Egg whites only

Drinks

*Pineapple juice

*tomato juice

*V8 Juice

*Lemon water- When you drink it it become super alkaline and is great for raising your ph level.

*Green Tea- Helps cm and improves your fertility.

*Baking soda drink (1/2 teaspoon into 1/2 glass a water. Stir to all baking soda is dissolved. Don't do this more then 7 times a day and for no longer then 2 weeks. Af-Ovulation)

*Tips*

Avoid Dairy and calcium. Try to look for foods that are very low in calcium. Dairy and calcium sways for girls.

Add salt to meals.. Helps to raise pH.

Potassium is found in the skin of some fruits and vegetables.

Foods

*Cranberries

*Cheese

*Corn

*Green beans,

*Blue berries

*Plums

*leeks

*Sour cream

*Cream

*yogurt-Organic

* Pasta

*White Rice

*Corn cereal or puffed rice.

*Fish

*Chicken

*eggs whole

* Lamb- loin or chops.

*fermented foods

Drinks

*Milk

*Cranberry juice

*Wine

* Raspberry Herbal Tea- helps lower ph.

*Crystal light- helps lower ph

* Drinks with aspertame in it- not fizzy.

 

The above are obtained from www.justmommies.com. 

My thoughts: So strange that drinking lemon/ lime/ pineapple juice will aid to having an alkaline environment! aren't these stuff super acidic??

 Chinese Gender Calendar

Legend says that the gender chart is more than 700 years old and was discovered in a royal tomb. It predicts your baby's sex based on your Chinese lunar age at the time you got pregnant and the Chinese lunar month in which you conceived.

My thoughts: The strange thing is, I found various variation of the calendar. hmmmm..

Apart from these, of course, one should not smoke/ drink and should keep stress at bay (yah, easier said than done in sunny speedy Singapore!). Good Luck to all of you who are trying!! If you have any tips to share, please drop me a comment! =)