I've been feeling awful lately. Awfully emo that is. The two young ones at home have taken ill. It has been so rough that we've (or rather, I've) been waking up almost every hour to pacify either of them. I could be patting Small K to sleep after a fierce struggle of over 2 hours, or calming an angsty Big K who got up in the middle of the night for milk because she was uncomfortable. It's not just once, but four times in a night! I tried to stand firm by telling her that she shouldn't be drinking in the middle of the night, but her screams were intense and I was so afraid she would wake her little brother up. I certainly wouldn't want to do a mambo with two crying babies. this has been ongoing for almost a week now and I'm truly knackered. The husband did his part by putting Small K to sleep every night and I'm thankful that he's around during this period. However, after midnight, he would retire his duties. No matter how loud Small K's cries were, he wouldn't get up from under the sheets. His reason: he doesn't have boobs! Then, there's Big K who has major insecurity issues. Every night after putting them to sleep, I'll be doing stuff in the living room. Once she sensed that I wasn't by her side, she'll walk out to look for me. For the entire week, she does that at least twice on the average. That forced me to sleep with her, but work and chores are piling up. They are on the road to recovery, but their clinginess still remains. It is particularly bad with Big K whom I've honestly been ignoring. She used to receive so much attention from me on the home learning front. These days, she's just roaming around. Small K has also learnt the art of attention seeking and is constantly wanting to be carried.
It's tough enough to be juggling work and two sick little ones but it's even tougher for someone in the family to say that I'm not doing that great a job in giving myself sufficient nutrients. True that I do not take my dinners regularly due to work commitments. I knock off very late hence by the time i can sit down to have a proper meal, it'd be 11pm. However, i do grab a bun or a biscuit in between. Unfortunately, that particular person doesn't see it that way. She deemed that this is affecting the quality of my breastmilk. She has been urging me to start on formula given that Small K has turned one recently. She feels that with formula, Small K will sleep better and he'll grow fatter. Small K is indeed on the small side. 3rd to 10th percentile to be precise, however, i reckon it's in our genes as Big K, well, isn't very big either. In anycase, it was about the same time when Big K turned one that such a topic was touched on as well. I explained that formula and sleeping well doesn't correlate. I mean, look at Big K. She was on formula and didn't sleep through the night till she was 2.5years old! So then, the argument came -- I don't eat well enough. If only she had the heart to save me some herbal soup when she boils some for her daughter. Or perhaps pack food for the hubs to bring back for me like how it was done when I was pregnant with Big K. Currently, food is packed even for her son-in-law! I don't think there are any undercurrents. And we certainly get along amiably. So what's the problem? I'm perfectly fine that I'm not pampered. It would be nice but since I'm not, I do my best on my own. So don't be saying that I do not eat nutritiously or that it's because of my diet that the boy is on the low end of the chart. I am probably doing a much better job that anyone in the family with the soups I boil regularly or the supplements I take erm irregularly.
So here's a run down on what I usually eat. I'm sure there is room for improvement but for a ftwm I think this would do.
So, what do you think?
