Have been back at work for a week and though i took it slow, it has been agonising to leave lil bub behind. I believe lil pumpkin will be left in good hands whilst i'm at work, but guilt and separation anxiety pangs are hitting in fast and furious.
Many a times, people see that i'm in an enviable position of being to work at my own pace but i still put in full-time hours (if not more) with a little flexibility thrown in. Am in the midst of setting my schedule straight but "clients" are always demanding and it's always about they, themselves and them. It's a losing battle when it comes to creating the perfect schedule. In fact, despite letting go of 4 assignments, I'm still stuck with a monday-saturday work week with each day ending at an average of 930pm. Hopefully i can be home on time for lil pumpkin's last feed and pat her to sleep. That is if she keeps up with the current routine.
Things are indeed getting easier. My baby, who looked like an angel, was a monster when it came to the breast. As a nursing newbie in the early days of first-time motherhood, I was constantly stressed, worried, and in pain. Pain was something I experienced a couple of days back when lil pumpkin's latch was bad. I developed blister on the right nipple. The scientific name for it is apparently bleb. Not entirely her fault as she needed more comforting than usual due to a fever. She had her first dose of 5-in-1 and pneumococcal jab on the day she turned 3 months. What a way to celebrate! Brought her to the MIL's as usual and pre-empted her abt the jabs and their side effects. All was good, or so I thought, and the hub and I decided to sneak out for a little pre-Valentine's Day dinner celebration. However, once home, I discovered that lil pumpkin was a tad warm. My fears were confirmed when the thermometer registered 37.5!!
The hub and I panicked and instantly syringed her with paracetamol. She put up a feisty struggle and was clearly uncomfortable and confused. I mean who wouldn't? First it was the nipples then the bottle and now comes the syringe! She must be thinking "WHADDAT?" The night was extremely long as we monitored her temperature every half an hour. It went up to 37.8 and we started to sponge her. Things got a little better but like i said she needed loads of comfort and fell asleep on the breast and screamed when I tried to get her off so that I could empty my aching bladder.
I was really reluctant to head off to work the next day, however, the hub assured me that he'd tk good care of the lil pumpkin. His hourly updates allayed my worries and I survived the day and zoomed back by 4pm. Sux but I don't have a choice. But I must say, the hub was really good. not only did he managed to bottle feed lil baby K (trust me, that's a mean feat!), he also managed to wash her laundry, mop the floor and bring baby k down for lunch!
On the same note, I wasn't having it easy either. The day started with a 5am feed. Thereafter, lil pumpkin refused to sleep and I had to coax her till 6am before pumping the boobies That took me 45mins together with all the sterilising and cleaning up. Seriously hate using the machine! Thereafter, got ready and at 830 i was at work. Constantly whatsapped the hub for updates and I survived till 1230. Found a multi storey carpark and starting milking in the car. Yup. bought a car adapter specially for it and it's insane seriously to be carrying my Medela Pump In Style up and down every day, together with my other barangs! Felt extremely conscious when pumping as there were people walking up and down. Though I was well covered, plus it was dark, I still felt uneasy. Dark- another challenge. I couldn't tell if i had emptied those breasts thus could only use the clock as my guide. after pumping for 20mins, I scooted off to my next venue. Once work was done, I zoomed to my mom's place to collect the groceries for the week. Being a nursing mother, taking care of oneself is of utmost impotence and plus I do not have the luxury of having homecooked food all the time, thus I had to go the extra mile to cook my own lunch whenever possible. By 4pm I was home and it was then that the hub decided that it's easier if we cooked instead of dining out. I agreed and after a good pump and shower, i started preparing whilst the hub and baby took a nap. BOY WAS I TIRED! That's seriously an understatement! I amaze myself at times and wonder where I got all that energy. However, the energy bubble burst that night. My feet were aching and I was feeling grouchy when lil pumpkin didn't want to sleep. It didn't help that halfway through the ordeal, the hub decided to head off to T's place to view a soccer match! But i guess it's all in a day's work and what makes me go on is the smile I receive everyday from the lil one.
Lil pumpkin was all cheer when I hugged and kissed her, though for a moment I felt that she wasn't interested in me. The daddy must have played too much with her! Thankfully, she's still interested in the breasts! haha
Milestones in the making :)