healthy food for pregnant mums

Now, if you think that i have been lazy in the kitchen due to the lack of food post of late, bite your tongue and think again! i have been up to my neck with work (read: peak period), trying to get organised, looking after the lil one, partial homeschooling and on weekends rushing hm from work to cook.  so yeah, i hv been hell busy.

However, that's no excuse for ill treating my tummy.  especially important when one is pregnant. so no matter how tired I am,  I make it a point to cook nutritious foods especially on weekends (mind you, I do work on Saturdays too)

here's what's cooking in Wong's kitchen:

beetroot carrot soup ; spinach (great source of iron ( with baby silver fish and ginger chicken cubes. 

Beetroot is really great and I've discovered it a tad late. It's high in iron, contains loads of Vitamin C, improves the health of the liver, has the capability of purifying the blood during pregnancy thus reducing defects of birth, diminishes blood pressure (not that i need any of that), increases physical stamina for pregnant moms, packs carbs, Vitamins A and B, soluble fiber and protein and last but not least, folic acid which helps in fetal development -- especially important in the initial stages.

Soups are a must, especially since for this pregnancy I didn't get much, if any at all, soup from the mil. Cordyceps are known to be good for immunity. It's extremely expensive. A few short strands can set you back by SGD300-500! So as a substitute, I used Cordyceps Militaris which is a cultured fungus that has similar properties I suppose. It has anti-inflammation, anti-aging properties, relieves insomnia, strengthens one's lungs and benefits the kidneys. I simply slow cooked it with some huai shan, red dates and wolfberries. Everyone loved it!

Blackbean is said to have heaps of folate. I hope I'm not too late in this game! It is also a good source of fiber and protien. Pan fried herb salmon. a good source of omega. really hope i m not lacking in that department coz throughout this pregnancy, i have been adverse towards fish! lastly stewed chicken with carrots and mushrooms. the gravy is just divine! slurps.

A spread for two plus one and a half. Steamed chicken with red dates (careful not to add dang gui as this is a no-no for pregnant women) and wolfberries together with cordyceps chicken soup take centre stage. Other supporting dishes include fried fish, spinach and onion egg. Special mention that i have been using either brown rice/ black rice / quinoa in replacement of white rice as these are known to be super grains. Healthy much? :)

So there, i hope the above will inspire you to step into the kitchen and whip up something healthy :)

The hub's traveling stints

I really should get to sleep. Well I did prior to this, whilst making Lil K sleep at 830pm. However, like clockwork,  I shocked myself awake at 11pm, appalled that I've yet to take my dinner. cooked but have not eaten. yes. life is such. The day started bad.  With me being emo. blame it on the raging hormones n a text received from the hub that he has an impending trip due on the 3rd week of delivery n will arrive back in sg on the morning of the tentative full month party.  my greatest worry came true. This was exactly what happened for no. 1's party. I had single handedly coordinated n diy a great deal.  This wasn't quite the problem.  problem was I'm very strict with my confinement and didn't step out of the house.  Thus I had to beg people to help.  okay mayb too strong a word but definitely troubled heaps of people to do the leg work n help with collections. Not forgetting the fact that I diyed the gift boxes comprising of cupcakes baked by my cousin, ang ku kway and red eggs done by my mil and packaging and all other simple party decor done by me. I think sometimes I'm just out to torture myself. In addition,  the worse bit was coordinating the guest list from the in laws side.  It was a nightmare the last time and I had a meltdown and the blues coz of it. They couldn't give me a number n claimed that they don't need to invite any relatives but ended up inviting and needing boxes of cakes from me at the eleventh hour!

You might now say that I should just make it simple and just outsource. Well Firstly,  do u know by doing all these I've saved quite a bit? Secondly,  I can't be shortchanging no.2 right?  In fact,  I'm determined to give no.2 as much as I did for no.1. ok. Go ahead and laugh at my ambitious goal.  But at least I'm gonna try.

so ok, the day was emo n due to a cancellation,  I decided to give myself a treat and headed to Nom Bistro @ Mac pherson Community Club. strange place to venture for food isn't it? I needed time out to cool my mind.  I can't help it that the hub needs to fly.  I'm frustrated n very worried how things will pan out with no helper, limited help and soon, two in tow.  Whilst everyone is taking the chill pill, I'm a worry pot. Doesn't help that thereafter a certain someone came asking if I was good and started preaching me about getting a maid and outsource things and even consider staying at home to look after the kids in order not to miss their childhood Cox they r only young once. made me sound like a bad mum who seemd obsessed with material possessions. wow. heavy. coming from a non-mummy and single non-working class,  I'm sorry, as much as I appreciate the thoughts and advice,  it really got me more vexed. especially since after explaining she's still adamant and opinionated,  I see no pt in continuing the conversation. honestly,  unless u are in a similar position, u really have no credibility to comment as well-meaning as u may be.

So yeah, I headed to NOM Bistro, only to realise that I didn't have a single parking coupon.  thankfully,  there was a 7-11 nearby.  But alas!  I didn't bring my cards n had limited cash.  embarrass much! thankfully I managed up dig up my coins n gather enough to pay.  Next, lunch.  No cash,  no card,  how an I to eat? just when I thought all was lost n I had to head home on an empty tummy, I recalled that the hub had left his credit card in the car!  yeah!! my knight in shining armour! at least he is doing something right despite not being in town!  The day didn't end up being that bad afterall as I've finally got my rainbow cake fix. :)

from left: salted caramel rainbow slice (too sweet), clam chowder (slightly salty) and eggs benedict (eggs not well poached and ham slices look insincere)

overall: ambience was simple and calming coz of the white furnishings; service  was good but food wise they've goto try harder. 

PS: For those of you who think that i'm all whiny coz the hubs is not going be around just for that period, FYI, the hub is a slut in the air. Yup, Singapore sometimes ends up as his transit point. His notice for the family can be a mere 24hours at times. This is extremely trying when it comes to child caring arrangements. And sometimes within a month, we'll probably only see each other for a 2 weeks? Even then, the communication is lacking coz mostly we'll be either busy with work or the kid. Lil K has grown up with such arrangement that she now gets confused which continent the father is in. And mostly she thinks that daddy takes the plane to work everyday!

PPS: This bit added on Sunday 20 April 2014:

Conversation between Lil K and I.....

Lil K: Mama, I want to take aeroplane go to Japan

Me: y Japan? 

Lil K: no mama, I want to take aeroplane to thailand to look for papa

awww...so here we are. . Though we couldn't just hop on n fly but, close enough.

Daddy, where are you? :(

Really nice to be chilling with my bub though she was climbing up and down, taking her shoes off and puking milk on the floor.

Thus Far. 31 weeks and counting

So we are in our 31st week already! RED ALERT! Where has all the time gone? My anxiety level is at its all time high and nesting instincts are kicking in fast and furious. It's strange that everyone, including myself, is so chill about this pregnancy. We've announced about the new bun in the oven since Chinese New Year but we've received lukewarm support and giveaways, if any at all. So I waited and waited coz the hubs kept assuring me that there is still time and that friends and relatives will shower us with hand-me-downs. But ALAS! Nothing. He realised that we've probably only got less than 9 more weeks to go! For a normal person with great support system, 9 weeks is a whole lot of time. but in my case, I am pretty much on my own, save for the MIL helping with Lil K's dinner on weekdays and Dad who is the designated chauffeur for Lil K when she dismisses from school in the evening. A big help of course as without Daddy Dearest, who is getting on in age but is always there for me, I wouldn't be able to come this far. Truly, he is the one who has been quietly supporting me, driving me for gynae checkups whenever the hubs is not in town. He brings Lil K and I lunch every weekday. He is my free labour, carrying Lil K, and picking up the grains she spills after lunch. He is my postman, helping with my deliveries to customers. Everyday, I see him age so much and at times I feel awful for not providing him with a better life. Though honestly, I think he his really doing quite well for his age, whilst I'm still struggling my ass off with tons of loans!

Now, with all that said, I should be moving at turbo speed but URGH! NO! Between having to manage chores, work, paying taxes, figuring out heaps of other stuff, revising how to all the baby stuff (which i've yet to do so..breathe breathe) and Lil K, I really don't have the time to do anything else! Really want to get that pre-natal massage and not postpone it to a post natal one. Really want to get those fat feet manicured and not let it outgrow the polish I had on during CNY. But the house is in disarray and it feels like I'm going through major spring cleaning again! I close both eyes and walk in a war zone everyday. but this can't be the way we are receiving our new member. Relax I hear? Chill and be happy? Well, I'm doing my best. In fact, I feel much happier this time round despite having tons to do. Can't help that I'm a planner and don't wish to be bothered by all those stuff during my confinement. Am hoping to put everything in place and hope the things (read Momzilla behaviour: activities for Lil K) I'm stocking up is enough to allow me to have some time to get used to the new pace of life. I'm an extremely random person and my things (despite filing them up) can be all over the place. Things really have to be more organised else I can't imagine the insanity I've to go through with managing the little ones, work and having to be a conscientious cow, which incidentally, I'm trying to break my previous record of 15 months. In addition, I won't be having the usual 4 months maternity break which most FTWMs get to enjoy coz I am accountable to myself.

The list of to-dos and anxiety is mounting but giving me loads of drive and focus. A trait (the drive and focus that is) I wish to pass on to my children. I, of coz, seek to reach an equilibrium but life is short and these are really challenges to make me a stronger person!

I am grateful for all the obstacles in my life. They've strengthen me as I continue with my journey!

Sponsored Review: Paley & Love

I love shopping. Any kind! but these days, it's more of online shopping because with a toddler, a bun in the oven and work, there's absolutely no time to saunter along the racks of clothes as much as I would love to. The lovely people at Paley & Love probably heard me and gifted me recently with credits to shop on their blogshop.

Paley & Love is an online children’s clothing store which focuses on bringing in a wide variety of trendy and comfortable clothes for children aged 6months to 10 years’ old.  It is the brainchild of 2 travelholic and shopaholic parents who are always on the look out for stylish apparels for their children. Being fashion-conscious globetrotters, they have put together designs which are wearable, comfortable, unique, stylish and affordable. They know how challenging it is to shop with active and playful children, browse through racks of clothes and wait for the sales assistant to check in the backroom for sizes. So, they peddle everything online for you where you can browse our awesome collection 24/7 in peace.

I tried to contain any excitement which was working out coz I know that the little ones outgrow their outfits oh-so-fast! Then again, Lil K doesn't quite do the same! She's 28months old now but is still able to fit in a 12mo outfit! Despite the fact that she doesn't require us to spend much in the fashion department, rummage through her drawers and you'll see a sizable number of outfits. I browsed through their navigation friendly website and found myself in the Girl's department. Saw a couple of cute florals but chickened out slightly. You see, I'm not too big on florals and as such, I'm often made to think that Lil K wouldn't look too great in them. We have amassed tons of pinks for Lil K and it was time to scour the market for more neutrals otherwise they might suffer a quick demise. I managed to haul a couple of good buys. Being mommies, we often have to search for good quality clothings at affordable price and over at Paley and Love, the pricings definitely would not hurt your pocket. I would have thought that with such pricings, packaging would be compromised, but surprisingly, every item was separately packed in a plastic bag and comes with a pretty card. Meticulous indeed.

Every item also comes with a little card that directs you to their website for care instructions. I Love the cute little squirrel they have as part of their logo! 

A squirrel represents energy, play, prudence, balance, socializing, preparation & resourcefulness. This resonates with the brand because our clothes are meant for the playful children who are always a bundle of joy and energies. They love to play and they love to have playmates. It also represents our resourcefulness in seeking and offering fashionable, comfortable & affordable clothes for them.

Getting the biggest bang for my buck has always been a challenge so this time round, I was pleased to get some whimsical but practical stuff which fits Lil K perfectly. So without further ado, let me present my adorable model and my loots:

I know these look boyish...well that's coz I got them from the boy's category! haha

I somehow am inclined to dressing Lil K in boyish outfits. Look how nicely she carries these ensembles! :)

Really tough to be taking a good shot of Lil K these days...she's so mobile!

So if you spot something you like, do not hesitate to add it to your cart coz things there might run out fast due to their limited quantities. Something good as who would want their child to run into some other toddler dressed in the same outfit? Embarrass much?

GIVEAWAY!!

Here’s the best part for you. The kind people at Paley and Love are offering a 10% discount for the readers of themishmashmess for the month of April 2014. All you have to do is to enter the promotional code Paley0T when you check out. The standard shipping and exchange terms apply.

They are also giving away $20 vouchers to 5 lucky readers. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 Validity period of voucher: 1 May to 30 June

GOOD LUCK!

Details of Paley and Love:

website - www.paleyandlove.com

facebook – www.facebook.com/paleyandlove

 twitter - @paleyandlove

instagram - @paleyandlove #paleyandlove

*I was gifted $100 credit to try out the service for the review. Any excess was paid out of my own pocket. No additional monetary compensation has been received. All opinions expressed are entirely my own and written according to my experience in using the products.

 

My Frivolous Baby Picks

We live in a time of intense social connectedness. While others are splashing news of their bun in the oven all over FB, I'm not. ok, i try not to. Well, even when I do, it's subtle. Not that I'm not excited, on the contrary, I'm high beyond words. But somehow, I just want to keep it low profile. Given my nature, it's pretty tough. It hadn't been an easy start. Nauseousness, dizzy spells and vomitting episodes were far too many. All the way till wk 15. only there after did things start to mellow down. Or so I thought! 2nd Trimester should be my honeymoon period and I should probably be taking a babymoon (something which i didn't when I had No. 1) but a terrible virus hit me over CNY and that rendered me moody, nauseous, sneezy and all the works. finally when things started to clear and I'm all good, I found myself moving into the 3rd tri fast and furious!! OMG! where has all the time gone?

I am suddenly hit by the realization that much has to be done! AHHH! This is a period of transition and I don't know what to expect in a couple more months. Well, instead of stressing over such stuff, I turned my attention to something more pleasant. I've been trying to come up with my want list and checking on inventory. For No. 1, we've relied a whole lot on hand-me-downs. Love them, but that limited what i could buy. It's a fix. One should try to save, yet one wants to buy! It's a woman's thing perhaps. Somehow, because it's my 2nd time, many expect me to be a tad experienced (and thrifty) and are not handing things down. A great excuse to expand on my want list! So here's to share my frivolous wants which is subjected highly to financial and hubby's approval. Chances are, I'm not getting 99% of them. :(

MONITOR

Always in View baby Monitor

For any parent that drives with your little one in the car, you know how important it is to be able to see them while you are driving. This new baby car monitor from Infanttech Solutions is an innovative way to help you keep an eye on your little one while in the car. Rather than having to turn around to check on baby (which I did all the time for No.1) or try to get the perfect angle with the car mirrors, this wireless system makes it easy for parents to have their baby in view at all times. Simply attach the stuffed animal, which has a camera in it, to the backseat of the car and then attach the monitor to your windshield. It works both during the day and at night and has to be manually turned off after each use as an added safety feature to help parents remember that baby is in the car. If I had known of this product earlier, I probably wouldn't have gone nuts or counted from one to 300 just by driving to the nearest shopping mall.

Samsung Baby Touch Monitor

We'll definitely be needing one of these fancy gadgets for no. 2 as we intend to put the lil one in a separate room and sleep train asap! we were epic failures when it comes to sleep training for Lil K so hopefully things are set right for no. 2 right from the start!. I highly recommend getting a baby video monitor - it will bring you more peace of mind than you can imagine.I recommend purchasing a monitor that has a "mute" button feature. We didn't have this as we co-sleep with Lil K since she was a baby. Bad move. But honestly not much of a choice given that we only have two bedrooms. With the new addition coming, the hub has given me an ultimatum -- to spruce up my study (which looks like Popular Bookstore) and make way for at least a crib, or for him to throw all my books away. hmm. as opposed to the other option i offered to him which was to buy another house, I suppose i'll have to give in. It has a "mute"button. If you are interested in a WiFi Baby Video , the WiFi Baby 2.0 is a great option, but is complicated to set-up. With the WiFi Baby 2.0, you will be able to view the video stream from your iPhone, iPad, Android, Mac, or PC (you can also use the WiFi Baby 2.0 as a Nanny-Cam, and record video and audio). Sounds good and I'm sure the hub who is a techie will be more than willing to set it up.

CARRIERS

These inventions are Godsent! I mean seriously, when you have absolutely no time for chores or even to take a leak, or that the baby is oh-so-cranky, these stuff truly helps! Ok, technically, we don't need these. We've already got our trusty Ergo, which if we were to use for an infant, I'll need to get an insert, as well as our sling from Pupsik Studio. These two served us very well during the initial insane periods but hey, it doesn't hurt to shop around again right? teehee

Manduca Baby Carrier 

Ergobaby 4 Position 360 Carrier

I've always loved my Ergobaby carrier and have used it with Lil K, but I've also always wanted the option to carry her forward-facing. Well Ergobaby has now granted this wish so that baby can face forward in an ergonomic seated position! The new Ergobaby 4 Position 360 Carrier will let you carry your little one four different ways, including forward, towards you, on your back, and on your hip. 

ErgoBaby Wrap

We tried the pupsik sling and the traditional sarong sling with Lil K. Pupsik worked for a while. It made that skin to skin contact feel so nice, and I was still able to do things around the house. Ergobaby will release their new Wrap which features a 4D stretch material that allows the wrap to fit comfortably for both mom and baby without becoming loose once mom ties it on her. Sounds awesome!

ADEN & ANAIS

Muslin Wraps

With its semi-sheer weave, these 100 percent muslin cotton blankets give opaque cover but are wonderfully breathable too, so your baby can be completely wrapped up without getting overheated. With those cute prints, these Muslin wraps are indeed quite irresistable!

SLEEPING AIDS

Aden & Anais Bamboo Sleeping bag

Did I hear BAMBOO? Luxurious!! But a sleeping bag is probably a must-try since I had such bad luck with sleep training for Lil K.

Stokke Sleepi Natural Crib System

A crib is an investment, so why not shop for one you and baby can get a few year's use out of? The Stokke Sleepi works as crib from 6 months to 2 years and then easily converts to a toddler bed you can use until age 4. The elegant design is totally baby-friendly, so don't have to worry about pointy edges. But the price is a little hard to stomach. So i think i can only dream. Afterall, honestly, I don't even know if the lil one will take to a crib, plus, we do have a Graco Playpen at home which is so convenient to move around!

Cocoonababy

Not sure if this actually work but ANYTHING to get the baby to sleep!

Fisher-Price Newborn Rock 'N Play Sleeper

Many refer to the Fisher-Price Deluxe Newborn Rock 'N Play Sleeper as the "Magic Cradle." It's easy to bring from room to room, and easy to fold-up and bring with you on the go.  Fisher-Price now has a vibrating edition of the wonderful Rock 'N Play Sleeper - the Fisher-Price Deluxe Newborn Vibrating Rock n' Play Sleeper. Still considering as I've the traditional netted rocker from Mothercare. In fact, I've 3 hovering in various houses. It's only flaw, is that it is manual. But yet again, I'm a little concern that the newborn will be so used to the automated rocker that he needs to be rocked each time he naps. 

FEEDING

Medela Pump in Style Advanced

If you are planning to breastfeed and is still in search for the right pump, look no further! Why moms love it: Masterfully effective and efficient, this beauty makes pumping as hassle-free as possible. Moms gushed about its ease of use and durability — though it's expensive, you can use it for your next baby, too. Medela obviously has breast pumps down: The brand's Symphony and Freestyle models came in second and third among many moms. Thankfully for me, we've got a hand me down which served us well previously! Time to get the motors serviced!

Bottles

We've been using Avent and Nuk for Lil K, but am inspired to try the below:

Playtex Bottles

Dr Brown bottles

FUN STUFF

Kick and Play Piano Baby Gym

The Fisher-Price Discover 'n Grow Kick and Play Piano Gym is amazing is my favorite baby gym because of it's dangling mirror (babies love mirrors because they love looking at themselves), but it's main asset is its kickable piano that babies LOVE - it plays music and lights up....very entertaining. Another great thing about this baby gym is that you can level up the piano as baby grows and starts sitting.  

Soothe and Glow Seahorse Baby Soother

The Fisher-Price Soothe and Glow Seahorse Baby Soother  is the technical name for this toy, but I call it "Magic Seahorse" because it's works like magic at calming your baby to sleep. However, I did briefly read somewhere that it was rumoured to be recalled due to the mechanism catching fire! hmmm wonder how true was that.

PLAYMATS

ok i technically do not need this as I've one at home. Ours boasts a series of alphabet and animals. Educational. Colourful, but a little too clashing with the deco of my house. But too much of such kiddy stuff around really doesn't do the house good asthetically.

Alzipmat - Color Folder Mat (Vivid)

It's FOLDABLE! need i say more?

Playspot Floor Tiles from Skip Hop

Pwetty!

Picture Books to Make and Print

This i gotto Have! Eventually! I love taking pictures of my kid -- and I've got a stack of digital photo albums to prove it. But what to do with all of those random snaps? Create a personalized, drawn-from-your-own-life alphabet book for the kid with PROJECTalphabet.com. 

First book of names : An Excellent Book for keepsake for the lil ones!

https://pinholepress.com

HIGH CHAIRS

these probably can wait. But no harm penning them down. We've got a handmedown Ikea High chair like everyone else...but....

Stokke Tripp Trapp

Yamatoya SukusukuES high chair 

DIAPERS & STUFF 

highly recommended by mummies around

• Mamy Pokko
• Merries
• Goon (oh my favourite when Lil K was young..but in the long run it's pretty heavy on the pocket)
• Johnshon Wipes

That kindof wraps things up for now. I hope you find this list exhaustive! Do share with me what are your favourite baby picks and what were your hits and misses! I'd love to hear! 

PS: I don't know what in the world is wrong with the html in this post. everything seems to keep jumping around as I typed! Retyped thrice and still the alignment etc went off. Hope you are still able to decipher what I'm writing! Technology: a Blessing or a bane?

Major Meltdown.

Many people would adore their moms. Not me. Since young, we've never had the best relationship. She drove (still drives) me up the wall by screaming at the top of her voice such that every neighbour (upstairs or downstairs) would know us as the notorious pair. Very often, I felt ashamed as a kid. When I got older, things did not improve. She thinks I'm a social butterfly by staying out late at night and locked me out several times. Granted, she's concern of my safety but you know how those project datelines at university can keep you up till the wee hours right? She throws sissy fits when me or dad call in at the last minute saying that we can't come home for dinner. When i confided in Dad, his reply was: Sorry darling, you and her are connected by blood. Me and her only by paper. Good luck. Yup. their marriage is often on the rocks. It is true that it takes two hands to clap but honestly, the Empress Dowager should really reflect.

Anyhowz, something rather touching happened the day after my birthday. The Empress dropped me a text asking if I wanted her to send Lil K home straight after school, feed her and make her sleep instead of going over to the in-laws since her Highness didn't have work that day. OF COZ I WOULD LOVE THAT! And this couldn't be more timely coz my friends and I were intending to celebrate my belated birthday. It was a really great offer as I was just lamenting to my friends that I have a curfew to meet should the MIL be the one looking after Lil K. These days, the hub has been travelling oh so frequent (5 trips since Chinese New Year) that every day after work, it's straight home. Not that I would like to wander around at 9pm, but that meant driving like a mad F1 racer and not being even to pack a decent dinner for myself. Dinner is often at 11pm after I've put the little one to sleep and give myself a good shower. Yup. No one really bothers whether I have eaten or not. Gaining sympathy on FB by posting my instant noodle photos at 11pm doesn't make things better either. I have been feeling so unloved. No good soup from anyone. A far cry from when I had Lil K. Even when I was very ill, no one fussed over me. I was all alone i feel. Until this message from the Empress. Touched me to tears. I got so emo i cried all the way home whilst driving. It's been hell long since I had a good sit down dinner with friends without the need to rush home. I feel jaded. Not coz i don't like taking care of my child, but seriously, I need a breather too. Especially since there's more to come in the next couple of months. It's so easy for the Daddy to simply pack and fly and occasionally drop me a watsapp message to say he misses us all. But that's not enough. This birthday, there were wishes from him, but no presents. This Vday, he arrived back in Sg in the morning only to go to Japan at midnight. Meanwhile, life went on n we had dinner with his family as it was also the 15th day of the lunar new year. It's not that I'm so into such commercial celebrations. Honestly i believe that everyday can be Valentine's day if we treasure and show appreciation. But I feel that lacking at times. When he is home, he's either on his phone playing some game which he claims is highly intellectual (but to me it's somekind of tamagochi), or he'll be out with his friends having tea. Something which I can't do as and when I like. Honestly, it's not that I need or want to be out at unearthly hours...trust me, i'm past that stage. I only need some time for myself. A facial, a pedicure or simply zoning out. 

I'm tired. really tired. Jaded. Really jaded. Drained. Flat. Knackered. Everyday, I'll be getting the lil one ready for school. Prior to that, I'll have to ensure there's lunch and entertainment for her. By entertainment I don't simply mean ipads or dvds -- all of which I don't advocate unless i'm really desperate. I've shared this aspect with the hubs and his reply is that I'm simply obsessed. How can I not be? Occupational hazard i think not. It's more to keep my sanity. Seeing the lil one engage in the activity i've panned out for her makes me happy and it's really a form of achievement. She is kept entertained for a bit and I, on the others hand can get some chores done. Am very encouraged but these days, with a bun in the oven, something simple which could take just 5 minutes for an ordinary person would take me half an hour. And with time not on my end, I'm trying deliriously to think of what are the ways to stock up on entertainment for Lil K when the time comes. I told myself, I must not let her feel neglected. 

A matter of managing expectations i think. And today, i did not do it all that well. Empress Dowager was here as  usual on a Monday. I expected her to feed, bathe and get Lil K ready by a certain time without me breathing down her neck and babysitting them. A simple task like bathing and she needs me to "escort" lil K into the toilet else. She refuses to go in coz she simply dislikes her Ah Ma...to after-bath when mom realized she did not prepare all of Lil K's oils and powder etc and will be lamenting on how bad a mommy I am coz I didn't prepare it for her. Genius. Pure genius. And I ended up being a mother and a servant to them all at once. And I probably expected too much from the hubs. He just touched down that very morning. Probably very jet lag. It's his off day and normally it's me who sends Lil K to school anyway. So he probably thinks having lunch with friends is legit...though i would very much love for him to dine with us, afterall, we haven't had a meal together as a family for weeks. Maybe i expected too much from a man coz afterall, men will always put themselves before others as oppose to women. Or so I feel. In the end, I simply broke down in the toilet. It was 1145am. Lil K hasn't showered and we haven't taken our lunch. We have a schedule to run everyday and that was to leave home by 1230/1245pm max. This day, I know I'm screwed. Lighten up you say? How? When I know I've to move at my daughter's pace? She's all princessy when it comes to getting ready. Slow and steady you say? But, I've to rush off to work the moment I drop her off. Relax, you say? It's fine to be late for work right? Not quite, coz that would mean I'll end work much later and have to head home at breakneck speed, often without dinner, to tuck Lil K into bed coz apparently, the MIL has been complaining that K refuses to be put to bed by her now and would cry or talk incessantly or insist on going downstairs to "wait for mama". She used to be doing such a great job with K until much recently when I've been getting bad vibes. With such instances, how can I not be an F1 driver? With all this influx of emotions, I couldn't handle and a lone tear slipped from my eyes unguarded. This escalated to more tears. I cupped my face in my hands but i was unable to hide the woebegone expression that had invaded me.  My spirits was really at an all-time low. All the bottled up feelings gushed out all at once. Yet, when the hubs asked me what's happening, the words lingered at the tip of my tongue but I failed to verbalise it. Shortly, he probably managed to piece some of my incoherent words together and figured he needed to take some initiative by rushing Empress Dowager (who was oblivious to the time) and feeding Lil K before he headed off for impromptu lunch with friends. I felt a little more comforted but yet, why do I have to voice out my discontentment through such measures? Why can't these people have some sense of urgency or initiation?

All these are certainly unhealthy. It's causing me insomnia too. I need to learn to manage such meltdowns and somehow the emotional hormones are raging furiously these days.  It's tough but tougher times are ahead I'm sure.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.

Eleanor Roosevelt